As a leader is it better to be feared or loved?

Sir, neither, a leader needs to be respected.

I choose none of the above. Leaders are not a movie star to be loved or the Terminator to be feared. Personally, I aim to be fair in my actions and decisions. I expect my senior NCO to let me know when I am steering towards the dark side of the force.

Leadership through fear or leadership through love both carry a distinct set of challenges and problems. In my mind, leadership is never black and white. It is situational.

That was a surprisingly insightful scene, LTC (Join to see). However, speaking as one who doesn't mind leveraging fear (my sons learned to believe me whenever I told them that whatever punishment I inflicted would be enough to make them regret the poor choice they made), I say that the best choice is to be respected -- fear may keep someone who would otherwise be loyal from coming to you with bad news and misguided love may keep someone from pointing out your mistakes, while respect carries with it trust in your judgment and leadership.

Some people are motivated by a pat on the back. Others require a kick in the rear. A leader should be able to do either and far more importantly know when each is required.

If a leader is loved by all OR hated by all he/she is probably a leader only by position and most likely not followed very well.

I am speaking of this primarily in the military context. Somewhere between love and fear is respect. It is sort of an amalgam of the two. Pick a great leader (Patton, Puller or insert your name here). They were both loved my their men as they would do anything for them, they were revered. There was also a sense of fear. The fear of letting them down, not completing the mission, not living up to the standard etc.

This is the struggle between the authoritarian or persuasive leader. There are times when each should be used. When it is time to get something done, right this second, without question, discussion or dissent you better have a streak of authoritarian in you or you are toast. If people will not/do not move on command for you, you are finished. Similarly when the pressure is off there is time to explain, discuss things and guide folks in the way they should go you can be more persuasive, mentoring etc.