Posted on Apr 29, 2015
SFC Brigade Cbrn Nco
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What is the most ridiculous / disgusting /etc thing you have ever witnessed during a Barracks Inspection / Health and Welfare. We all know Soldiers can be creative, so share you stories here.
Posted in these groups: 1024px smiley.svg HumorVc iwcc w415 Barracks93df41c6 Inspections
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Responses: 281
SSG Roger Ayscue
406
406
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We had a General Officer named Crocker. Major General Crocker was inspecting our unit's barracks and in the room across the hall from mine, the inhabitant had been sneaking a shot or twelve from a bottle of German Schnapps he had brought back from Germany with him. So he was a bit ...well he was blistered to tell the truth....and he thanked the General for all the great recipes and wonderful cookies his wife, Betty, made.....I almost had a freaking aneurysm trying not to laugh so badly. Betty Crocker....Priceless. Thank Betty for the Great Cookies...To this day I can not look at a bag of Oatmeal raisin and not start laughing
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SSG Bill McCoy
SSG Bill McCoy
9 mo
SSG Roger Ayscue - Thanks .. per your suggestion, I did.
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SSG Paul Headlee
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SFC Charles McVey Sr.
SFC Charles McVey Sr.
9 mo
Maj Raymond Vanden Berghe - Now that would be interesting, even worse is if his Commissioned Aide were to answer it.
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SFC Charlie Broadus II
SFC Charlie Broadus II
8 mo
MSG Richard C Finley - I was in 1/67 2nd AD at Ft Hood although it was in 90s
Deployed to the gulf war from there
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1SG Claims Assistant
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217
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Edited >1 y ago
I was in Diyala Province in 2008 when one of the Cavalry Troopers in the unit I was supporting failed to return from leave. His Platoon Sergeant asked me to assist with inventorying his gear since there was a shortage of NCOs. Upon cracking open a footlocker, it was found to be nearly half-filled with (ahem) flesh-lights. If you don't know what that is, google it on your non-Army computer. Old boy appeared to have collected all of them. The PSG, not knowing what it was, picked one up with a puzzled look and a "WTF..?" and in the dark in the light of our headlamps, "pixie dust" sparkled out of the (umm) orifice. Apparently, this trooper had not adapted to the water shortage and not yet devised a good way to clean his stuff up after use.
Not wanting the PSG to make a mistake, I suggested he secure a pair of latex gloves before going any further. No way was I going to do anything but hold the clipboard. It took him over a half hour to compose himself. Watching him try to pick through that footlocker with a long M-16 cleaning rod was pretty priceless.
On the inventory sheet, I dutifully desribed in fine Army Jargon what each item was. Example:
"Personal stimulation device, Jenna Jamison's @$$, blue, one each" (many are modeled after certain "model's" body parts).

He showed up two weeks late from leave with some story about his girlfriend leaving him. I have NEVER seen anything like the smoke show that Soldier got repeated in my Army career.
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SPC Laura Mitchell
SPC Laura Mitchell
9 mo
I just Googled...Oh My
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SPC Daniel Eaton
SPC Daniel Eaton
9 mo
FOB Cobra was a total shit hole.
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SFC Charles McVey Sr.
SFC Charles McVey Sr.
9 mo
1SG (Join to see) - How much extra duty did that one cost you?
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PO1 None
PO1 (Join to see)
5 mo
SSG Herman Bauman - That reminds me of this time when we were down a man for watch and one of my guys said his wife sent him a blow up doll as a joke, so we dressed her up in some coveralls put a hat on her and we were good to go for the rest of watch, lol.
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CSM Brigade Operations (S3) Sergeant Major
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I found a surgical glove on one of my Soldiers shelf when I was a platoon sergeant conducting a pay day activities barracks inspection. Being well versed in the Infantry way of life I asked him why he had a surgical glove on his shelf before I touched it. He told me that a stripper gave it to him after she wore it when she stuck her fingers up his @ss

It was not pretty after that.
(147)
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LTC George Morgan
LTC George Morgan
11 mo
Well done to all who have respnded both above and below, can only hope there is more to come! LMOA
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MSG Johnathan Mathes
MSG Johnathan Mathes
10 mo
Ummmm wasn’t pretty to begin with lmao
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SFC William Swartz Jr
SFC William Swartz Jr
10 mo
Ahhh the ol' "oil check".... lmao
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CDR Phil Smith
CDR Phil Smith
9 mo
Let's not and say we did...here's $20
(1)
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