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As a Chaplain seeing Soldiers and prospective spouses in my office, I ran across this issue more times than I'd like to admit. Even discovered a 'contract marriage ' racket run through Craigslist off-post. So I ask, do you marry for LOVE or is there a case where marrying for BAH is appropriate? Let me be clear. The reason I ask has to do with the brouhaha over gay marriage. Critics say it cheapens the sanctity of marriage. I was wondering if a heterosexual couple (or gay couple ) marrying to get BAH/BAQ or performing a contract marriage also cheapens the sanctity of marriage? Are there more than a few ways to cheapen the sanctity of marriage ?
BAH
Benefits
Marriage
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 24
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I married for love.
But...
The difference in quality of life between a Married Junior Enlisted, and Un-Married Junior Enlisted is so dramatically different that we are literally putting them in an ethical challenge to where it's hard not to consider.
Chaplain. This has nothing to do with "marriage." This has to do with troop welfare. Troops in the barracks (E1-E5) are treated essentially like "children." You are under constant supervision. You can be grabbed at any time for almost any purpose. Your "room" is NOT your "home," it belongs to the government, and you are constantly reminded of that, with little things. There is just no escape from that until you reach SSgt or you get married. It takes about 8~ years to pick up SSgt. Finding a spouse...
As others have said, there are huge downsides to this route, but for a young immature troop, who is at a "breaking point" from living with the guy he works with... I can understand why they might consider this.
But...
The difference in quality of life between a Married Junior Enlisted, and Un-Married Junior Enlisted is so dramatically different that we are literally putting them in an ethical challenge to where it's hard not to consider.
Chaplain. This has nothing to do with "marriage." This has to do with troop welfare. Troops in the barracks (E1-E5) are treated essentially like "children." You are under constant supervision. You can be grabbed at any time for almost any purpose. Your "room" is NOT your "home," it belongs to the government, and you are constantly reminded of that, with little things. There is just no escape from that until you reach SSgt or you get married. It takes about 8~ years to pick up SSgt. Finding a spouse...
As others have said, there are huge downsides to this route, but for a young immature troop, who is at a "breaking point" from living with the guy he works with... I can understand why they might consider this.
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SrA (Join to see)
I see this all the time. The rules at my base force any airman with no dependents to be in the dorms until they hit E-4 and have 3 years time in service; this means that even if an airman is 30 years old and has been living on their own responsibly for over a decade has to be "babysat" in the dorms. At the same time teenagers who got married and joined the military out of high-school, yet have never lived anywhere outside of their parent's house, are given more trust and $$$.
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SrA David Steyer
I knew of a lot of people at my first unit who got married to get out of the dorms. I'll straight up and say it and only a few (if that) are still married years later.
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SPC David Hannaman
The "babysitting" is one part of it, another part of it is the barracks can get pretty rowdy on the weekends. I considered getting married just as a way to get out of there, find some peace and quiet.
And yes, there are plenty of girls around bases that are more than willing to get married so that THEY have a better life and can get out of their parents house.
And yes, there are plenty of girls around bases that are more than willing to get married so that THEY have a better life and can get out of their parents house.
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Marrying for money is a horrible decision. You will pay more in the long run.
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SFC Michael Jackson, MBA
CPT (Join to see) You and I agree, marrying for money is a horrible decision. I just find it interesting that 80% of divorces name money problems as an issue. Yet, mostly everyone agrees marrying for money is bad.
http://www.aces.edu/urban/metronews/vol6no4/divorce.html
http://www.aces.edu/urban/metronews/vol6no4/divorce.html
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Marriage isn't a public union, it's a union of two people (more if you're one of those radical Mormons). The sanctity of marriage does not exist. You can only advocate for or against the sanctity of -a- marriage. People will always find ways to "cheapen" marriage by marrying for what others consider the "wrong reasons," but does this really affect your marriage? Stop worrying about why people get married and be hopeful or thankful that you do it for reasons you believe to be right.
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The best post by CAPT Kevin Ball..."the maintenance, depreciation and disposal costs." LOL
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Marrying for BAH must cheapen the sanctity of marriage because it cheapens the individuals involved. Contract marriages clearly indicates the parties has lowered their values and sense of morality. The parties are engaging in a fraud against the government. Essentially, you're screwing over the hand that feeds you and your comrades.
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I married for love...but I was married before I joined.
Stop forcing people to live in the dorms, and you'll eliminate a lot of the "contract" marriages.
Stop forcing people to live in the dorms, and you'll eliminate a lot of the "contract" marriages.
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CH (MAJ) William Beaver in BCT there was this guy that was married but didn't use a ring, when I ask him why he didn't have a ring he told me that he got married in a hurry. I won't judge him, there could be some love after all...
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This really wasn't an option for me, as I was married with children well before I even decided to join the Army. I have known people who strictly marry for the benefits and I do not approve of those marriages.
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