Best Drill Instructor/Drill Sergeant stories

I had four fillings put in one day at dental while a first phase recruit at MCRD San Diego in 1985. One in each of my back molars in each corner of my mouth. They shot me up pretty good with Novocain. When I returned to the squad bay the rest of the platoon was on “square away time” sitting in front of their racks with one “hat” patrolling the bay. The two other junior DIs and the Senior were in the duty hut so, as trained I slapped the door frame to the duty hut three times and yelled “Sir, Recruit Norquist reporting back from dental as ordered sir!” Only I had not spoken since getting the Novocain shots and my mouth and tongue were completely numb so what came out sounded more like “Thurrrr rebooded Noarthboodsts rbooordenn baadth fuuum dennndul athhhh orbeded thurrrr!” The DI’s had a field day! The rushed out of the duty hut surrounded me me and began yelling “What??!??” And making me repeat myself. Several of them had to pop into the duty hut to hide their laughter between screams. Even I thought it was funny! They stopped when I bit my tongue and lip and started to bleed. I think I owed them quarterdeck time later for spitting blood and drool on the floor

One of my all time favorites. A new MTI and I walking across the overhang area next to the dining hall exit. The new MTI spots a trainee exiting the building without his hat on. The TI calls the Airman over and asks him "What is on my head that's not on yours?" The Airman promptly responds, "Hair Sir". May the butt chewing begin.

I went through Paratrooper training in 1968 and at the end of the first week I could not complete 5 pull ups. A Drill Sargent took 3 or 4 of us out back of a building. He told us we had failed. He said we had 2 choices, go back through the first week again (it was a killer!) or drop out. He added that whichever choice we made we would remember it for the rest of our lives. I chose to go back through the first week again. When I did, I passed. I remember that Drill Sargent (Sgt. Perez) and the opportunity he gave me to excel.
Never give up!

You know how you meet people from all over the country when you go to basic training. Well I'm from Chicago and in 1990 when I enlisted in the Army, I met a guy from Texas.He wore a big 15 gallon hat. When we made it to the reception station in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma, upon exiting the cattle truck, the guy stepped on the Drill Instructor's highly shined boots...what did he do that for?

When the Drill looked down at his boots and back up the private, he slapped the private so hard that he 15 gallon hat fell off of his head. When the private started to cry, the Drill Sgt took the guy's hat and tossed it like a frisbee. The hat was thrown into the distance for yards and yards. Then they focused on me with my 4 full duffle bags and a suitcase. I tried to hobble and huff out of their way, but they got me too.

Showed up to basic. DI’s last name was Zepeda. Mine is Cepeda. The rest of my time was spent understanding that I had spelt my name wrong.

This is from the other side of the aisle. I was about to start Drill Sergeant School as a 21 year old junior E-5 (Ft. Dix, February 1976) when my company got a shipment of new trainees. They gave me a hat and told me to go yell at troops. The first guy I walked in front of started crying alligator tears. I froze. Didn’t know what to do. Unfortunately, I found the most sadistic DS in the group to help out. When I went back a week later, he was gone. As the story goes, his wife called and asked his status. When she was told he was on the way home, she said, “I sent him to the Army for you to make a man out of him.”

While in technical school at Chanute AFB, the marching formation came to a road crossing and road guards were deployed; as the guards were moving into position the lead TI noticed that one of the cars approaching was the base commander's staff car, and he is inside the car (a MajGen if memory serves me correctly). The TI really tried hard to get the attention of the road guard in order to have him allow the General's car to pass....didn't happen. As the TI is having fits and literally turning purple, hence his nickname "Purple Hayes", the General is seen laughing himself into contortions in the backseat. I always chuckle when I think about that day.

In all fairness, a 91 on the ASVAB would get the troop a MOS that makes them marketable after their MSO comes to an end.
Might be smart to take advantage of it.

First day of basic at Ft. Jackson 1968:

First Sergeant at morning formation, "Private XXX, front and center!"

Me: Yes, First Sergeant!"

First Sergeant: "Private, are you any relation to First Sergeant XXX?"

Me: "First Sergeant, that would be my father!"

First Sergeant: "Private, your father was my company First Sergeant in 1948 and made my experience in Basic pure hell. I have been waiting for this for 20 years!"

First Sergeant with evil smile: "Dismissed!"
It was an interesting 2 months. Just one of the benefits of growing up as a military brat.

When I showed up for BUDS Training (Basic UDT SEAL Training) on a Sunday afternoon, late January 1969, I met Vince Olivera. I knocked on the training door from where loud laughter and adult language were emitting. This man came and asked what f--- I wanted. I told him and he called me a banana and several other things and walked away. I thought seemed a bit rude, so knocked again. Two passersby asked what I was doing and I told them. They said "What ever you do, Don't knock on that door!" I found out the next week that his name was Vince Olivera and his nickname was god!!! The first week of actual training he spotted me ... came over and called me out in front of the other two BUDS classes that were in session ... more vulgarities and references to my family and my mental and physical capabilities ... dropped me for 20 pushups and left. My class proctor 'Mother Moy' (Terry) got me upright from the 'position' and that event gave me a HUGE "X" / TARGET on my back for all of the BUDS Cadre!!! Sure was in great shape when I graduated. Thanks Vince, for a life long memory!!!