Best Drill Instructor/Drill Sergeant stories

In boot an RDC from another division walked in and the two of us manning the door sounded off. The following conversation was between said RDC and the girl manning the door with me.
RDC: What condition is your weapon in?
Recruit: My weapon is in great condition Petty Officer!
RDC: WTF did you just say to me?
Recruit: I mean.. My weapon is in Condition 3 Petty Officer!
RDC: Do you even know WTF that means?
Recruit: Trigger forward, hammer on-
RDC: Hammer on?? So it's a flashlight now?
All of our divisions RDCs were in the office laughing so hard and I was having to cough into my sleeve from getting caught laughing.

Basic was 40 years ago, 1980, Fort Leonard Wood Mo. Of course we got there late at night, Met our drill Sgt's, SSG. Trump and SSG Reed. First thing SSG Reed says to us is, " There ain't but two things I give away, That's hard dick and bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum." He added that after tonight we would never forget their names, and I never have. Both were combat veterans, good men.

We were in the Special Leadership Preparedness Program while in Basic Training. Graduated of this program would ship immediately to Vietnam and be promoted to E-5 upon arrival. A drill sergeant took delight in harassing us until we were miserable. Upon being seated in our classroom he stated, " I just gave you your first lesson in Army leadership. Don't ever treat your soldiers, your family members or your soldiers family members like I just treated you! " I enlisted because I that statement and stated for 24 years. As an abused kid, I followed his directive as closely as I could. My kids turned out great. A couple of my favorite soldiers retired at E-8. Several of my cadets outrank me in retirement. And, I still am married to the same girl that married me when I was an E-4. I revere the lesson I learned that day. It was the first time I heard that the way I was treated while growing up as a kid was wrong!

Many, many stories. First one I'll tell is from about White Phase in BCT. I was at Ft. Sill in 2000. In the beginning, our Platoon Drill Sergeant briefed us that there were three MWR events we could choose to attend. An Army Band show, a boxing/kickboxing smoker, and a Silk concert (in chronological order).
You only got to choose ONE! By this time, the band had already done their show. So it was time for the smoker. Two of my classmates were on quarters for something, so that left two spots open. Two of my drill sergeants already knew that I was a martial artist, so they both said that I should go. I responded, "What about Silk, Drill Sergeant? I already chose that event." They told me that I'd still get to go, but that I should go to the smoker as well "for observation purposes." So my Platoon Drill Sergeant took me and when we got there, the announcement came over that one of the matches was cancelled due to the fighters being ill. My drill sergeant said, "Blue, let's put on a show for them." He was also a martial artist, so I said, "Let's do it, Drill Sergeant!" So we got to stage a demonstration! IT WAS F---ING AMAZING!!! All my battles that were there were hi-fiving us when we got done! Then we settled in to watch the matches. And yes, it was educational.

after about 3 days in to basic I figured out it was mostly a head game and time to learn something new. I got the giggles, dad was a WW2 Marine captain and I had heard all the abuse. learned a lot, tanks Drill Sargent.

I was told in the jungle there is only 2 things out here, there is the quick and there is the dead if you don't react quickly you will be dead. It has saved my life so many times after the military experience. It is almost automatic. I just respond after so much constant training.

AIT Combatives after my Christmas leave in 2008: I got my nose broken in 2 places and a severe concussion. I was told that I passed out and came to but called my DS 'ugly' and passed out again. At the hospital, ALL my DS's came and gave medical a F5 verbal attack for me waiting for 4 hours to be seen and I had a head injury. That DS-the one I called 'ugly' said he did NOT have the heart to write me up and I felt miserable, but he and the others showed me a RARE side-
PV2 is injured and not able to stand without falling, others saying they forgot to bring food back for me and another soldier. Let's say doors on my floor got punched open and a few got a lesson in respect. Best, the DS and I gained a new respect for each other and I credit them, the cadre and in my first unit, one who was an AIT cadre, showed me that being the oldest ever (PATRIOTS at 38) in the MOS training cycle took guts and he respected me. I still say they saved my life and glad that I am alive so I can show others that WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF_ALL IS POSSIBLE.
B 3/6 and ADA 3/43 saved me more than once. THANKS GUYS!

a black hat in jump school, Nov 1967, used to call out as we marched to chow, that the 173d needed us badly, he had a deep southern accent, and that 'only the strong shall survive and the weak shall fall by the wayside'. well, it seems to have stuck in my head.

Not a DI story but in line with other last name anecdotes.
As an NROTC midshipman, I was home on leave and dating a gal when she invited me for dinner. I already knew her dad, active duty USAF Master Sgt., was not enamored with daughter dating a “sailor”. Finally at the after dinner around the table time, the ice broke.

Her dad told me that his last name had been changed shortly after he made sergeant. Previously it had been “Darling.”

Not because of her dad or anything, we drifted apart as things usually go at that age. But I’ll always remember his gentle gruffness.

BOOT 1972, all that needs to be said.