Best Drill Instructor/Drill Sergeant stories

Whether we were doing drill, PT, or studying. One of my drill instructors, Sgt Martin, determined that we were not working as a team like we should, they would make up sing one of two songs. Both were the same, just changing the work Pepsi to Twinkie.
"A Pepsi for you a Pepsi for me, shall we never disagree. If we do, the hell with you, just give the Pepsi to me."
In one of my letters home to my girlfriend, I mentioned this song. As a result, when graduation took place, we presented Sgt Martin with both, a Pepsi and a Twinkie.
Attached is a picture of him receiving his gift.

So, there was this recruit whose DI saw him as the essential Gomer Pyle, couldn't do ANYTHING right. DI was always in his face going on about something. He was aware that he was making the recruit miserable. One day he said "AIR-WASTER, I BET YOU CAN'T WAIT 'TIL I DIE, SO YOU CAN PISS ON MY GRAVE!" Gomer said: "SIR! WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS ARMY, I'M NEVER GOING TO STAND IN LINE AGAIN!"

Same story Cpl. Martuneau, as me. But as Luck would have it, my first mos assignment was logistics 0441 and then I changed to the 5811 military police field. I was very grateful. Semper Fi Marine.

My TI told me, "Smith, you always look sad or pissed off. Which one is it?" My reply: "Neither Sir, just stoned."

I had joined the Mississippi Air National Guard in 1980. The year before I had an accident involving heavy equipment which injured my back. Despite me telling them this, they passed me through on my physical because I was going into the guard (I guess, times were very different back then.)

So, I spent Basic Training on pain pills, had a medical waiver so didn't have to do PT every day. Didn't have to run or do push-ups, etc. They allowed me to walk the mile instead of run it - which I passed. Also passed the Obstacle Course.

TI told me I was lucky to join the guard because the regular USAF would not have let me in.

BUT

One and half years later the KKK members in my unit gave me an option: Get a Dishonorable Discharge or join the Regular AF. I chose the latter.

19Z5M, why walk when you can ride; and carry more beer.

I will retire in Jul 2022, went to OSUT in 1983. The 1st hour of full metal jacket is just like what I experienced, except for the murder/suicide.

Before I went to basic I always a picky eater. ( Probably why I’m skinny 6’4 160) When I went basic two years ago covid first started at the end of red phase. When covid started the chow hall wasn’t open to go anymore we was give hot plates. Everyday we ate the same thing. An apple, lettuce as salad, rice, peas and a different source of meat. Everyday we pretty much ate the same thing. I never ate anything but the meat because I didn’t eat the vegetables I guess you can say never did since I was young. I use to trade with the vegetarians ate there meat and give them my veggies. This one particular day we was at the range shooting and we had the same as usual only this time the meat had gravy on it but it was a second option of meat think lamb patties. In basic you don’t choose what you eat it go by the line and it switches back and forth. I never like gravy and hated it. I told the fellow trainee that was serving to break the rules and let me have the lamb because the way the line was I suppose to got gravy meat. He said no I felt like he was a dick we look out for each other especially cause he was in my platoon. I didn’t notice the DS behind me watching and listening . I lied to the trainee and said I was allergic to gravy and that I can’t eat. I told him I would die if I do. The DS heard ( this was a dick head DS and this the nicest he had every been to a trainee that cycle) DS said trainee if you allergic take it. Your health comes before anything. Get the lamb and enjoy your meal and get two pieces. I got the food and ate it. At the end of the day we had ammo check make sure no one was taking ammo from the range. That DS checked me and he was still in a good mood. He said trainee did you enjoy the food. I said yes DS I’m stuffed. He okay trainee we gone make sure you guys stay healthy. He walked off. I proceeded to laugh with my battles cause they knew I was lying. In the middle of my giggle I seen him turn around dramatically and looked my way. He yell TRAINEEE. Whole company automatically snapped into parade rest. He ran in my direction and yell HOW TF ARE YOU ALLERGIC to gravy. All the DS and the company commander and 1st sgt laughed not knowing what’s going on. I stood froze and sweating nervously. He said YOU CANT BE ALLERGIC TO JUST GRAVY. THERE HAS TO BE AN INGREDIENT IN THERE THAT YOU ALLERGIC TO. He started naming ingredients. He said I CANT BELIEVE YOU MADE ME LOOK STUPID. I CANT BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LOSE YOUR LIFE. I WAS YOUR FOOL. I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOU GET OUT BEFORE YOUR CONTRACT ENDS. With all seriousness. I low crawled all the way back to the company. After that they called me gravy boy and he hated my guts.

From MCRD San Diego, Platoon 1085 in 1980. The Drill Instructor was Sgt Martin.
If anybody in our platoon screwed up or wasn't pulling their weight, he would have have us sing out

"A Twinkie for you, a Twinkie for me, shall we never disagree. If we do, to Hell with you, give the Twinkie to me."
Alternatively, he would substitute Pepsi for Twinkie.

Upon graduation, I finally got to see the SOB break out laughing when my girlfriend presented him with a Twinkie and a can of Pepsi.

As for my Senior DI, SSgt Perez, once he found out where I lived (3 miles from Camp Pendleton and only 30 miles from MCRD San Diego, he would routinely call me into the DI hut and, invariably, would ask me the same X questions.

Question 1. Pvt Allen, where are you from?
Answer, - Sir, the private if from Carlsbad California SIR!
Question 2. Pvt Allen, why did you join my Marine Corps?
Answer. - Sir, the private joined the Marine Corps because he prayed about it SIR!
Question 3. Private Allen, are you f@#king crazy?

Now, how do you answer that last question?

I had a ton of fun in Basic and loved all of my drill instructors. I was not your normal Marine as I was willing to obey but always curious and always appeared to be on the border of getting by balls busted or praised. ! day after Phase 2 training we returned for phase 2 and starting covers was a big thing. I was headed through the chow line and the biggest chocolate chip cookies you have ever seen was being severed. I looked at the private and said - hey who is that SGT back there I think he is from my home town. When he turned around I slipped another chocolate cookie under my hat and proceeded by saying never mind wrong guy. Next thing I had a Mess SGT crabbing my shoulders and screaming all kinds of love language at me and I knew I was cooked. Then I heard a sweet voice that I could recognize anywhere say "You will get you D**K Skinners off my marine. I thought only God could have sent him at that time. I was let go and proceeded - after giving the cookie back.

My drill instructor come out as we formed up, walked up to me with the evil eye, tapped his DI Cover and said "Dant, I will see you in the barracks after mail call." All my joy left at that time and I had one crappy day knowing how much time I was going to spend in the pit that night.

Mail call ended and I headed to the DI Hut to receive my punishment. I was allowed to enter and told to sit down. When I did, he reached in to the refridgerator and pulled out 2 milks and a large chocolate chip cookie. He said one should never steal. But if you are going to - do it right and do not get caught. How can one have a cookie and no milk. He proceeded to have a chat about the Marine Corps, how well I was doing, and he thought I would make a good Marine.

From punishment to joy. Needless to say - never ever thought about putting anything on my chow plate or take anything unless it was offered. Good lesson with no pain.

On my first boat, we'd gotten a new Auxiliary Gang Machinist Mate.
His name was William Miehe (pronounced "Me")
when he would answer the phones, he would respond "Bill Me!"