Posted on Oct 26, 2022
How can I report a fraternization situation without being exposed and possibly facing retaliation?
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NCO is having an affair with a private. This is getting to the point where they touched each other at night while everybody sleeps (currently in TDY). The NCO is married and is neglecting his soldiers even more now. He even goes around bragging of how he is “” this girl with the rest of the platoon. Chain of command know this but don’t do anything about it. I am worry of being a target of retaliation if I speak up. Can I do anything about it without exposing myself.
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Fraternization
Posted 2 y ago
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This is not a SHARP or EEO issue, this is a Fraternization issue. Fraternization is a command issue. You say your Chain of Command knows about it, but do they really? Are you certain that the Company Cammander, 1SG, CSM and BN CDR are aware of this relationship? I would be very shocked to hear that is true.
There are a few ways this gets resolved.
1. You do nothing. The spouse will find out and raise hell, or they will break up and the lower ranking person with nothing to lose will blow up his career. These things never last and they always end spectacularly terrible.
2. They slip up and put something inappropriate in the group text. Someone sends the screen shot anonymously in a larger forum. Honestly, you'd be surprised how many NCOs go down over group texts. Or maybe they just get recorded touching inappropriately, or something equally unprofessional.
3. While this is not an EEO issue, EEO is responsible for command climate stuff, you can report this to them.
4. Fraternization is against Army regs and policies, and if a Commander is not following those regs, this is where IG can step in and recommend action to the commander.
Best option :
Go to your 1SG and tell them. If your 1SG isn't willing to address it, go to your CSM and use their open door policy.
There are a few ways this gets resolved.
1. You do nothing. The spouse will find out and raise hell, or they will break up and the lower ranking person with nothing to lose will blow up his career. These things never last and they always end spectacularly terrible.
2. They slip up and put something inappropriate in the group text. Someone sends the screen shot anonymously in a larger forum. Honestly, you'd be surprised how many NCOs go down over group texts. Or maybe they just get recorded touching inappropriately, or something equally unprofessional.
3. While this is not an EEO issue, EEO is responsible for command climate stuff, you can report this to them.
4. Fraternization is against Army regs and policies, and if a Commander is not following those regs, this is where IG can step in and recommend action to the commander.
Best option :
Go to your 1SG and tell them. If your 1SG isn't willing to address it, go to your CSM and use their open door policy.
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SFC Casey O'Mally
SPC (Join to see) - You never EVER go to 1SG without PSG knowing. That being said, PSG doesn't have to know WHY. Ask your PSG to set up an open door appt. with 1SG. If PSG asks why, just let him/her know it is a private matter you would prefer to discuss with 1SG first.
Same goes true if you end up using CSMs open door. 1SG should be the one setting that up.
Generally speaking, the first thing 1SG is going to ask is if PSG knows you are there. If you answer no, almost every 1SG I have worked with will send you away right then and there. Same for CSM asking if 1SG knows you are there.
Same goes true if you end up using CSMs open door. 1SG should be the one setting that up.
Generally speaking, the first thing 1SG is going to ask is if PSG knows you are there. If you answer no, almost every 1SG I have worked with will send you away right then and there. Same for CSM asking if 1SG knows you are there.
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MAJ Byron Oyler
SFC Casey O'Mally - I dont want to be like SFC (Join to see) when I grow up because I dont want to grow up...
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CPT Lawrence Cable
I'll qualify this statement with at least while I was still in the system, both the Regular Army and the National Guard took fraternization pretty damn serious. I have seen a number of Officers and Senior NCO's get hammered with Article 133/Article 134, including one of my Company Commanders who decided to have a fling with a female medic attached to our company. No sympathy, I sat down and told him that it was not only a dumb idea, it was a career ending and marriage ending one. It did both.
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Completely agree with the sentiments of MAJ Ken Landgren and the advice of SFC (Join to see).
However, I'll add that if you witness illegal, immoral or unethical activity than you are duty bound to report it if you hold to your oath of office/enlistment - the activity you describe is toxic to the well-being of the unit and cannot stand.
I also would be shocked to discover that the chain of command knows about this and did nothing - that type of stuff gets leadership relieved of command.
To your last part about wanted to report it without exposing yourself to retaliation. Do you fear retaliation from your leadership or from the NCO in question? If the later, then I would say it shouldn't be an issue unless you make it one (i.e. bragging about how you "took down so-and-so").
If you truly fear that you will be facing reprisal from your leadership, then talk with a 3rd party intermediary. While not specifically in their wheelhouse, having the first IG in your command's chain have a discussion on your behalf with the commander on your behalf would be an option. Other personnel could be any trusted senior leader/NCO, Chaplain, etc. - it doesn't have to be in your immediate unit if you go this way because you are using them as an intermediary.
However, I'll add that if you witness illegal, immoral or unethical activity than you are duty bound to report it if you hold to your oath of office/enlistment - the activity you describe is toxic to the well-being of the unit and cannot stand.
I also would be shocked to discover that the chain of command knows about this and did nothing - that type of stuff gets leadership relieved of command.
To your last part about wanted to report it without exposing yourself to retaliation. Do you fear retaliation from your leadership or from the NCO in question? If the later, then I would say it shouldn't be an issue unless you make it one (i.e. bragging about how you "took down so-and-so").
If you truly fear that you will be facing reprisal from your leadership, then talk with a 3rd party intermediary. While not specifically in their wheelhouse, having the first IG in your command's chain have a discussion on your behalf with the commander on your behalf would be an option. Other personnel could be any trusted senior leader/NCO, Chaplain, etc. - it doesn't have to be in your immediate unit if you go this way because you are using them as an intermediary.
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MAJ Ken Landgren
I have never witnessed such putrid behavior on AD but seen it in the NG when I worked with them for a couple years. I concur with you. This needs to be stopped because what is transpiring is a pathetic joke which violates all facets of good leadership.
COL I wrote a PTSD Paper that has helped me many. Would you like to read it?
COL I wrote a PTSD Paper that has helped me many. Would you like to read it?
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COL Randall C.
Sure, but I hope that's not a sidelong comment about my posts or something...
Looking for feedback?
Looking for feedback?
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COL Randall C.
Regarding the activity ... sadly, I have witnessed such behavior in the active component throughout my career.
I've seen a case where the BN XO was carrying on with the spouse of one of the Company commanders ... another where a GO was carrying on with his driver .. a handful of times where NCOs having affairs with other NCO's spouses ... and a 1SG that was forcing lower enlisted to have sex with him (the most despicable one of them all, may he rot in Leavenworth for another 13 years on his sentence and not get paroled).
*sigh*
You'd hope they would do their thinking with what's above their shoulders instead of below their waist.
I've seen a case where the BN XO was carrying on with the spouse of one of the Company commanders ... another where a GO was carrying on with his driver .. a handful of times where NCOs having affairs with other NCO's spouses ... and a 1SG that was forcing lower enlisted to have sex with him (the most despicable one of them all, may he rot in Leavenworth for another 13 years on his sentence and not get paroled).
*sigh*
You'd hope they would do their thinking with what's above their shoulders instead of below their waist.
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It depends on your COC. You can go outside the unit like the chaplain and the EEO. I can't fathom the behavior of the NCO. If what you say is true, then he is a stupid piece of shit and employment in the army should be terminated.
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SGT Timothy Posemato
You got a lot of good advice here, if you choose not to use it, let it be, if he's bragging to his platoon, she'll get tired of his words and trust me, she a woman above and beyond being a soldier, she'll let his wife know, and then it'll be on him to salvage his marriage and career. Like they say, karma is a bitch.
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