Posted on May 13, 2020
CSM Mark Gerecht
17.4K
84
28
12
12
0
I have a senior leader that has asked me1.). Do you find yourself attractive?2.). Are you dating anyone?3.). Are you dating at all? Is there anything I can do?

These comment would be inappropriate. If they continue they could be considered sexual harassment. They can also be prejudicial to the good order and discipline of the unit. I have provided an extract of AR 600-20 below for your review.

AR 600-20 provides the following guidance:

7–5. Categories of sexual harassment
a. Verbal. Examples of verbal sexual harassment may include telling sexual jokes; using sexually explicit profanity, threats, sexually oriented cadences, or sexual comments; whistling in a sexually suggestive manner; and describing certain attributes of one’s physical appearance in a sexual manner. Verbal sexual harassment may also include using terms of endearment such as “honey”, “babe”, “sweetheart”, “dear”, “stud”, or “hunk” in referring to Soldiers, civilian co-workers, or Family members.

b. Hostile environment.
A hostile environment occurs when Soldiers or civilians are subjected to offensive, unwanted and unsolicited comments, or behaviors of a sexual nature. If these behaviors unreasonably interfere with their performance, regardless of whether the harasser and the victim are in the same workplace, then the environment is classified as hostile. A hostile environment brings the topic of sex or gender differences into the workplace in any one of a number of forms. It does not necessarily include the more blatant acts of “quid pro quo”; it normally includes nonviolent, gender-biased sexual behaviors (for example, the use of derogatory gender-biased terms, comments about body parts, suggestive pictures, explicit jokes, and unwanted touching).
7–7. Techniques of dealing with sexual harassment All Soldiers and civilians have a responsibility to help resolve acts of sexual harassment. Examples of how to accomplish this follows:

a. Direct approach. Confront the harasser and tell them that the behavior is not appreciated, not welcomed and that it must stop. Stay focused on the behavior and its impact. Use common courtesy. Write down thoughts before approaching the individual involved.

b. Indirect approach. Send a letter to the harasser stating the facts, personal feelings about the inappropriate behavior and expected resolution.

c. Third party. Request assistance from another person. Ask someone else to talk to the harasser, to accompany the victim, or to intervene on behalf of the victim to resolve the conflict.

d. Chain of command. Report the behavior to immediate supervisor or others in chain of command and ask for assistance in resolving the situation.

e. Filing a formal complaint. Details for filing an informal or formal complaint are included in appendix D.

See the article at:
http://asktop.net/q-and-a/can-a-leader-ask-if-i-am-dating-someone/?preview=true

Follow us on:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMilitary/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MentorMilitary
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ment
Posted in these groups: Images 1 Sexual Harassment
Edited 4 y ago
Avatar feed
Responses: 16
SPC Welder
16
16
0
I have experienced this type of leadership, it's very unfortunate because as a lower enlisted soldier I lose a lot of respect for said senior leader and actually get treated differently when I "reject" or don't play into their question's.... it actually happens more over social media than face to face... which I think is quite ignorant since everything is in solid writing. So a good rule of thumb I use for myself is to not add senior leaders on my private social media platforms.
(16)
Comment
(0)
CSM Mark Gerecht
CSM Mark Gerecht
4 y
Unfortunately it is common for leaders to treat soldiers differently if they are rejected. Which can them get them into more trouble.

With regard to asocial media my rule of thumb is no one I work with is on my social media account. It has the potential trial to cause drama and rumors.

Thanks for your feedback
(4)
Reply
(0)
SPC Welder
SPC (Join to see)
4 y
I couldn't agree more!
(2)
Reply
(0)
SGT Wajahat Mohiuddin
SGT Wajahat Mohiuddin
>1 y
That is a great rule regarding social media, I myself only added people from my former company after my ETS.
(1)
Reply
(0)
A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
1 y
I'm SO Glad I'm Old ENOUGH To Where In SHOULD Be Dead.
I Have NO Idea How You Fk'n Kids Ever Get To Know Each Other Without
Having To Meet In Court....Everyone's So Touchy & Trying To Sue Someone Over
BULL SH*T, And Claiming To Be Insulted Or Hurt, By What Some Else Said Or Did..
~~~ "GOD?.. Please KILL ME Before These SOB'S Try to Destroy MY Life"....~~~
.
NEW People Of This Earth.... STUFF IT, I've Had Enough Of Your Crap !
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
MSG Intermediate Care Technician
10
10
0
Those words would NEVER come out of my mouth when speaking to another SM.
(10)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
CSM Mark Gerecht
8
8
0
SFC Livingstion - Totally agree with you. Unfortunately some leaders don't get it.
(8)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close