Childcare affecting my reinlistment. What would you do in my situation?

You're not really going to find a lot of programs like the kind you're looking for from NG or even USAR. Those are part time professions and the federal government offers very little full time benefits for part time Soldiers.
If the guard is costing you more than it benefits you it may be time to move on.

I am going to be honest. It sounds like it's time to ETS. Thanks for having the courage to sign up in the first place, as most do not. Time to do what's best for the family.

Time to leave, it's not easy but family lasts longer. I had to give it up for mine for other reasons but I only regret a few things but I don't regret my family

I feel you on this. It was extremely difficult for my family too. Then I deployed a few times besides. But, making it to the other side of all of that, the sacrifice was worth it. I've gotten to do things, and grow in ways I never imagined when I was a SPC. My advice is, if at all you can manage, work through this. If that isn't possible, you could take a break in service but no guarantees the bonuses available these days will be around later on. I would say, stick it out, but then again, I am beyond 20 years too. I just know it gets better, and I couldn't see that when I was having to deal with the difficulties.

By not re-enlisting I feel as if I'm missing out or I haven't finished work I started so it's a little bit of a mind game for me right now. I'm proud of the service and would never take it back but I wish there was a bit more familial support when I'm off training.

You can stand next ... next to the other 60 year olds and whine and cry... you got out and have no retirement... I met a 94 yo veteran who put in 9 years AD.. could have retired in 1963... or reserve retired in 1985 at age 60... Don't be a big baby.. Every one of us had problems, my son died.. Wanna trade.. I am Totally F-up..194 percent VA disabled... I'll be you.... you lay in bed and be me...

This is a difficult situation. I'll lend you some ideas based on my daughter's experience with the Guard and Reserve. The number one answer was grandparents! She lived close enough to her husband's family that they would care for her two kids when she was doing Guard duty. (Husband was a small-town law enforcement officer). She resigned her Guard position (E-5) after she earned her BSN. She also dumped abusive husband #1. Husband #2 was a firefighter. He did shift work as did my daughter as a new RN. As soon as she could, she found clinic work that allowed her to use minimal child care because her kids were in grade school by then. She fell into several "good deal" clinic jobs that paid for her student loans, supported her getting her First Assist, and then a MSN & Nurse Practitioner. After the kids graduated HS she looked for a Reserve RN job and ended up in the Navy Reserve.

So how does this apply to you and your "significant other." Perhaps your significant other could find a job that doesn't require night shift. Clinics and some government agencies hire RNs to work "normal" hours. Pay may not be as much as night shift floor work, but it could be better for the kids. . (Daughter works for VA: 40 hrs/week and all the benefits of a Federal Govt job.) I have no idea where your kids' grandparents live. We were always happy to keep our grandkids for the two weeks our daughter did her active duty. (We lived too far away to cover the weekend drills.)

If none of that works out, then the burden of change may fall on you. Consider your employment options outside of the Guard and do what's right for your family. Throughout my 40+ work years, I made many decisions that were right for my family, but looked bad for my career. I found out that sometimes it looks bleak at first, but in the long run it turns out great. The old saying, "when God closes a door, He opens a window," is true.

I’d advise to to look at the big picture here. While difficult and expensive now, with you only attending AT and drill, how would your family manage if you’re called to deploy? While you may feel you’re letting your unit down, we’re all replaceable. Do what’s best for your family and yourself.

Unfortunate it may be it sounds like either you or your spouse will have to make a sacrafice for the good of your family. I wish you the best with whatever the outcome is.

Not sure about AT but I know many of the air guard or air force reserve units I have been in offer free child care on drill weekends. It is arranged through the family support center. I don’t know if army guard units have it though.