Dealing with a wife that doesn't understand PTSD. Any others with marriage problems?

I had the same mindset initially (me having to deal with the wife that didn't understand)....some of that misunderstanding belonged to me. I know I have changed after every deployment.

My wife and I had some issues when I came home. On occasion we still do. But we find a way to sit down and talk it out before it gets blown out of control.

I am a wife of someone with PTSD. Many people asked me why I stayed with him. My answer to all was "He is sick and I made a vow". When he became verbally abusive to my kids I had no choice but to give him an ultimatum. He needs to get help or we're out. He got help for 30 years and his last visit was 8 weeks before he past. He still couldn't show love to us but he was a changed man.

You two need family counseling as well as solo counseling for her.

Your wife has the problem and needs counselling.

Your not the only donkey here SFC! Our wives will never completely understand what we go through. Its doesn't matter how much we explain or how to explain it to our love ones, it will never be Lima Charlie to anyone but the ones who has to deal with it. Remember always that your not alone and there are others who can relate and punishing self and love one are not the way to go on. Take it one day at a time, one problem at time and do your best to tamed that damn Elephant thats tuanting or telling you otherwise. Your doing your best for now. Its okay to kick our own Ass but not too much that we can't come back and try again. LITTLE STEP/ ONE STEP AT A TIME, SFC. We all in this together! The other thing that I can share is that you cared, you cared alot and you gave a shit what happen and how it happen just don't try to examine it. We call it," Intellectual Masterbation". It may feel right at the moment but its not!!!!! God Bless SFC, Stay Strong!

Many have this issue. You are certainly not alone. This is the third thread on the subject I've seen this week.
If you are anything like I was, you are keeping to yourself, trying to spare your wife the images and thoughts that keep you awake at night, that keep you from wanting to be around lots of people, for changing how you interact...
Not knowing what to do, she copes as best she can. She sees the changes, and wonders if you'll ever be the same...

PLEASE talk to each other frankly and openly about what is going on. If you can, chart a course together on finding ways to adjust and re-center yourselves. It may be time together, it may involve professional assistance. Whatever you do, don't just wait and hope it gets better. It doesn't.

If there is anything I can do... and I know something about this...message me directly. My door is open to you, truly SFC Jeffrey Couch.

You may have tried this already, but I would try to put myself in her shoes. She only knows and acts as most civilians do. It's not her fault that she doesn't understand how you feel, but it isn't your fault either. Also, try to put things in terms that she can understand and let her know that sometimes you need your space, but you need her support all the time. I hope this might help at least a little!

I met my wife after coming home and getting some therapy.

That said, I can still inadvertently scare the crap out of her 22 years after we first met. Fortunately, she's patient and understanding.

VA offers family counseling. There is also NAMI that offers great programs directly related to the military and it has helped many here in our community to understand. While still tough to accept, understanding has help tremendously to bridge some of the gap. NAMI.ORG