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I have been married for 18 years with my wife being fully disabled the past 11 after being diagnosed with a form of muscular dystrophy. In that time, we have had several ignorant comments said to us as I progressed to my current rank. I was told that I would never make SGM because she was disabled. I have tried to bring awareness to this "problem", and I was told it was inappropriate to discuss. And the people telling me were my leaders. When I attended USASMA, I found that there are several spouses that had medical issues that they hid in fear of their spouse not getting promoted. I feel that if it has happened to me (for years) that it is happening to others. Am I alone in this thinking?
Spouses
Disability
Disabled Veterans
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 29
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27
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First of all congratulations on the outstanding relationship and being a stand up guy that stood with his wife through the good and not as good times!
Addressing your question, I am happy you did not hide her, it would not be fair to her and would not help her quality of life, nor yours as you would be living a lie if you tried to hide her. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. I want to thank you for not being a shallow person and for you and your spouse confronting the naysayers and not hiding! I believe you both did the right thing by embracing the facts of life and making the best of it. Hiding her would have been wrong in so many ways.
Addressing your question, I am happy you did not hide her, it would not be fair to her and would not help her quality of life, nor yours as you would be living a lie if you tried to hide her. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. I want to thank you for not being a shallow person and for you and your spouse confronting the naysayers and not hiding! I believe you both did the right thing by embracing the facts of life and making the best of it. Hiding her would have been wrong in so many ways.
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Anyone who told you that you should hide your spouse and her medical issues in order to have career success is not someone who belongs in the Army...or anywhere in polite society.
(19)
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PV2 (Join to see)
I would agree. Her disability has nothing to do with your military career. Since when was a healthy spouse the key to advancing in the military?
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11
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Unfortunately there are many out there who judge others unfairly. Quite often it is because they make themselves feel superior by doing so. In reality they only show how shallow they are.
I totally respect your loyalty to your wife.
I salute you CSM Carl Cunningham
I totally respect your loyalty to your wife.
I salute you CSM Carl Cunningham
(11)
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