Posted on Jul 12, 2023
Is it standard or even typical as a form of disciplinary action for an NCO to call a soldier's parents to complain about the service member?
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Hello Rallypoint Members!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
UCMJ
Paralegal NCO
1SG
SFC
JAG
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 217
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As a former junior NCO and retired CW-4, i fully support the efforts of senior NCO’s to use every means at their disposal to reach young troops and motivate them.. many young folks are not used to the discipline of the military. They may have had structure at home that will help them kick it up a notch when parents are notified. One thing i learned in my career is that we are all our brothers keepers. We are part of a team.. we are also our own worst enemies. Especially when we open up our mouth when we should be listening to those that know.. your SFC cares a great deal about you.. now lean into the task at hand and ruck up.. you will be fine..
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Absolutely not! You join the armed forces as an adult and therefore you should be treated as an adult. Sergeant first class completely in the wrong!
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Neither typical or standard... parent contact should be reserved for emergencies or praise.
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Of course NCOs should communicate with parents, not only when disciplinary action has been taken but also just to stay in touch, send them Christmas cards and gifts, drop in for coffee when in the AO, etc.
What, are you friggin' crazy!? If I caught an NCO tattling to Mommy and Daddy, I would bust him or her or them or they or whatever to PFC and let them explain to Mommy and Daddy how that happened.
What, are you friggin' crazy!? If I caught an NCO tattling to Mommy and Daddy, I would bust him or her or them or they or whatever to PFC and let them explain to Mommy and Daddy how that happened.
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Not too sure if anyone has brought this up, but I would never do this for the following. First, not everyone who joins the military had a good or even a decent family life/dynamics. Just imagine giving a family member more ammunition to make the soldiers life a further mess. Second, some members joined the military against their parents wishes. Once again more fuel for the fire. Finally, based on the info provided, the member is at least 21 years of age and not new into adulthood. Adults get adult consequences and don't get put in timeout by their parents.
Different leaders have different leadership styles, but this one is a new style that needs to go away.
Different leaders have different leadership styles, but this one is a new style that needs to go away.
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Suspended Profile
SOP? No. This a matter between a Soldier & his Leadership (possibly Company Commander, depending on the severity), not the parents.
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Future advice. Tell them you are a grown-ass man! You don't answer to Mama, and dont be a pussy next time WOW
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Standard? NO.
This seems more of an indictment on the SFC's lack of leadership skills & abilities. Granted, a good leader knows or should at least understand how to influence/mentor/counsel a subordinate and use what resources are available. Calling mom & dad was never in my tool box--subordinates, regardless of rank, are adults and as such responsible for their own actions.
As a former cop (a real one not an MP) I can tell you that it's not illegal to argue with a cop or MP--they are not he final arbiter on free speech. It's not the smartest move, but not illegal (you may ultimately beast the wrap but you wont beat the ride).
There remains, however, the issue of insubordination if the MP was of greater rank. Still, mom & dad have no place in this issue regardless of what disciplinary action your CoC deems appropriate, if any.
This seems more of an indictment on the SFC's lack of leadership skills & abilities. Granted, a good leader knows or should at least understand how to influence/mentor/counsel a subordinate and use what resources are available. Calling mom & dad was never in my tool box--subordinates, regardless of rank, are adults and as such responsible for their own actions.
As a former cop (a real one not an MP) I can tell you that it's not illegal to argue with a cop or MP--they are not he final arbiter on free speech. It's not the smartest move, but not illegal (you may ultimately beast the wrap but you wont beat the ride).
There remains, however, the issue of insubordination if the MP was of greater rank. Still, mom & dad have no place in this issue regardless of what disciplinary action your CoC deems appropriate, if any.
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