Posted on Jul 12, 2023
Is it standard or even typical as a form of disciplinary action for an NCO to call a soldier's parents to complain about the service member?
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Hello Rallypoint Members!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
UCMJ
Paralegal NCO
1SG
SFC
JAG
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 217
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Did the detachment commander give the OK for the phone call ? Did he or she know the NCO was going to do this ? The author did not give any clues about where the commander stood on this. This is not something I would have done without the CO's blessings.
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It's unprofessional to involve parents in disciplinary actions. The service member is by definition an adult. Furthermore if the service member is indeed a "dirtbag" it is most likely the parents faults which in most cases wouldn't care and would be upset at the call.
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The only time I can remember having a parent told about a soldier's disciplinary action was when I was in Korea. We had a PFC Court Martialed for black market selling of alcohol (1982). After the Court Martial, our Bn Cdr made a call (using the MARS system) to inform his parents that said PFC was being shipped home in custody and that they could meet him when he arrived in the US before he was confined for his sentence. I think this was more of a courtesy call to inform the parents that their son was going to be confined and then discharged. The kid was only 19 at the time.
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I’m a retired 25 year Army 1SG. I have been out of service for 2 decades. What is your current duty status, meaning are you in basic, AIT, or first duty station?? I had many soldiers I would have loved to have talked to their parents!! However, I see what happened to be of a breach of trust of that NCO’s responsibility level.
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If you worked for me and I found out you called a members parents because you have a discipline issue with them, I would relieve you of your leadership role. The only reason to call a service member's parents is if they are hospitalized or deceased. PV2 should have refused to give the information. He is an adult, whether he is acting like one or not.
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That doesn't make any sense because what happens in the workplace stays in the workplace, and such a thing would normally be considered a breach of confidentiality, unless the time in service was in jeopardy, due to criminal investigation. Why call the parents? You're in the military because you are an adult. Do they expect your parents to come over and give you a spanking? What goes on at my work is none of my parent's business, unless I invite them in, via conversation.
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That servicemember is legally a grown adult, not bound by their parents authority. Therefore its none of their business and calling them with intent to just degrade their childs character is technically slander.
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Absolutely inappropriate, doing so is an open admission you failed as a leader. You’re treating your charge like you would a school aged kid and sending a note home. What’s next they going to ask for a parent conference. Weak, VERY weak, toxic leadership.
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