Do you think Officers and NCO's should be allowed to date or get married as long as they are not in the same Chain of Command?

I was Married to a Navy Officer for 18 years. Only problem I had was the young Lt's and Capt's in the Marine Corps trying to counsel me on Fraternization although nothing ever came of it! I should mention that we was High School Sweethearts. I had the best of both worlds in term of Housing and hanging out with my Buds!

I do not think that any entity should have the power to dictate who one can or cannot marry. While many of us have made mistakes when it has come to the rank or position this does not define who we are in terms of being technically and tactically proficient warfighter's on today's modern battlefield. So long as we know ourselves, personnel, and our Mission Essential Task List (METL) along with being proficient in our warrior tasks and battle drills while we accomplish the mission with superior results it should be encourage as being married to one's soul mate makes for happiness thus having an even stronger fighting force then what we presently do.

This is not something new while I have had the opportunity to meet multiple couples throughout the years were one was an officer and the other enlisted. So long as one spouse does not have undue influence over the other's career such should not be a problem.

let me add that we need to seriously look at present fraternization policies as there are many instances where officers and enlisted members do develop friendships. It is possible so long as policy is made clear for an officer and enlisted member to be friends. Think of it like this while today I am a medically retired SFC this does not negate that things change as we venture into ne chapters of our lives as presently while I hold zero authority my civil service grade is comparable to that of an LTC/COL whereby my first line supervisor is a SES leader. I too am striving to make it into the SES ranks while nothing will ever change that the highest grade of military rank I obtained as a Soldier was as identified and mentioned herein.

Once again rank nor position defines a person as it is deeds not words in you are gauged or in essence sized up according to what you accomplish bringing such to the table if you will. I have a little brother Marine as I affectionately call him who is a medically retired Corporal who is my peer while all that matters now is that we served and we are prod to have been able to in spite of where we are today. Marriage and fraternization do not go together and scientifically speaking attraction to another cannot be changed because of a policy as at the end of the day these folks are still going to possess feelings for one another...it is quite simply about putting such into perspective and always referring back to the common sense factor...being married to my best friend is awesome/she is the beautiful lady with me in my profile picture.

God bless!

If they aren't in the same chain of command, I think they should. A rule is a rule though, and as an E-3 I follow them.

By blood or marriage, while on active duty, I was related to a general, 1lt, two junior enlisted, one 1sg, and a CW4. I had more problems with name recognition (good or bad) than anything else. Starting with a drill sergeant who resented some perceived slight from my father when he was his platoon sergeant and the drill was a private abd ending showing my uncle in law (the general) around as his guide when he visited a base I was tdy at.
Honestly, as the military grows more "professional" I don't see the problem being that bad in an organization as large as the army.
I'd say, at a minimum, hands off the junior enlisted and if you have the same rater or senior rater you probably shouldn't. I second the motion of informing everyone it's "ill-advised" and some counseling about the pitfalls of the situation should be given. After that, if they screw it up, they're on their own.

Well if it's ok for queer individuals to get married, I reckon it's ok if officers marry nco's, every thing is getting more queer in this country anyway

Nope. Shouldn't matter. When I was in we had a staff sgt. married to a warrant officer in our sister unit. There were never any issues that I was aware of. The key is not being in the same chain of command, just like you said.

Absolutely. It's a pretty dumb rule as it is. As long as they're not in each other's food chain, it presents zero negative impact.

No.

I say yes, no direct influence on each other. If he or she cant come stomping around their company CP and try and make shit happen then YES! especially cross branch, why in the world can I not date an Air Force Officer let alone marry her one day?

I know its an old topic but dam its gets me going every time.

I think they should be able to. Just like two NCOs can date if their not in the same chain of command. The rule was made was there wouldn't be any favoritism. If they are not in the same Chain of Command, how can they really affect their parnter's career. It's no different then a E-8 being married to a E-6.

Who cares, as long they are not in the same limit or chain of command , as long they not in the same platoon or company , love is love ..

I agree with some of the other responses I've seen here. If your duties do not overlap at all, and you are not in the same chain of command, I do not see an issue with it. As long as both parties can take the rank off when they get home from work, which would be a personal issue at that point anyway, I can't think of a good reason against it. It's like friends that join the military and one ends up a commissioned officer and the other an NCO, should that friendship be banned if they aren't in the same CoC? Why apply any different policy towards dating and marriage. In the civilian sector, a VP of a company can date and marry anyone that he/she wants, regardless of their status in an organization. If it's the same company, there can be a conflict of interest, but if its a different company or organization, it has no bearing or effect on each parties professional life.

If you want to retain good people, it should not matter so much. If there is a draw down on end strength it may also present a justification to force the issue.

A RESOUNDING YES !!! and NEVER be in the same chain of command

There is no difference in my opinion on the subject of dual military families when it comes to rank. If it's a NCO with enlisted or Officer with NCO or enlisted. If the highest ranking family member can't separate home from work and makes decisions based not on facts or truths, that individual leader should be reprimanded or punished. If two Soldiers of the same rank are married one will usually progress faster then the other. So who's to say if they are not going to show favoritism.

I think largely the original rules go back to when officers and enlisted were in different social classes, which is definitely not the case any longer. However, it does create a whole new level of complication the military and military personnel system are not prepared to deal with right now. Additionally, it does create the possibility for a conflict of interests, as does dating outside your rank in general. With the personnel management system where it is right now, I could definitely see a conflict. The only real way to prevent it would be to ensure both different MOS/AOC/branch and different geographic locations. Or just not allow it. Personally, while some aspects of life, social activities, might be easier had I dated and married military, other aspects of my life would be far more complicated. Nothing against dual military couples, more power to them, I couldn't do it and have a family, but with only 1% of the U.S. population in the military you have options, look outside.

I have had this in 3 different units and Office married to enlisted and in each one after discussion with the Commander one was transferred. I have also had it that two officers were married one Lt and Lt Col the Lt was Transferred. I spoke with the Lt Col and explained that the chain of command would be affected not because he would have curried favor for the Lt but because the presumption of the possibility was there plus it would allow the Lt to mature into the real officer that they were without the security blanket of a silver Oak Leaf. I also feel the same way about enlisted.

I agree with the majority when they say it shouldn't be an issue as long as they don't share a chain of command. We are all consenting adults, and I am of the mind set that if I can serve my country, I should be able to date and marry anyone I want.

But to play devil's advocate, let's say the reg is abolished and there is a free-for-all with dating. All is great if love prevails and marriage is in the future, but what if things go sour in that relationship? How many have experienced the drama of a bad break up, whether it be first-hand or seeing it unfold by others?

It is one thing to see 2 NCOS (or 2 Officers) go at it. These things happen. But what if there is that tension between an Officer and an enlisted member after a nasty break up? Kind of puts the whole "respect all officers appointed over me" part into jeopardy.

I know a level of professionalism is expected of all of us, but unfortunately, this isn't always so. So I can see why there is hesitation to make the reg go away altogether.

As much as I'd like to accept it. I see too much potential for an abuse of authority, and favoritism. Just like within civilian businesses.

Seen it happen all too often.

I think it should be ok for officers and enlisted to date and even marry as long as they are not in each others chain of command.