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The military is a professional organization instilled on disciple and structure. As such, an authoritative leadership style thrives. While there is nothing wrong with this leadership style, in my opinion, most leaders with this style lack a critical leadership trait. Empathy.
When leaders empathize with their troops they are forming a social bond based on trust and respect. It shows that you feel and understand the hardships they are enduring, and although you may not have the means to relieve those hardships you can provide the camaraderie and support to endure. Empathic leaders are observant of those under their care, and are skilled at active listening.
Empathy is even listed under the Leadership Requirements Model – Character in ADP 6-22. Yet, the Army rarely discusses this leadership trait that is essential to building many of the requirements in the Army Leadership Requirements Model.
I read a lot of books, and these books always portray the protagonist as an empathic leader who stands against the odds at all costs for what is right. A leader you want to follow and whose example encourages you to be a better person; while the antagonist is cold and unyielding, and uses fear and intimidation to influence his followers. So why do so many military leaders adapt this antagonist leadership style? Are our leaders lacking empathy? And what can we do about it?
LTC Harry C. Garner, U.S. Army, Retired wrote a great article on the topic of empathy, I encourage you to read it: http://usacac.army.mil/cac2/cgsc/repository/dcl_GarnerArticle.pdf
When leaders empathize with their troops they are forming a social bond based on trust and respect. It shows that you feel and understand the hardships they are enduring, and although you may not have the means to relieve those hardships you can provide the camaraderie and support to endure. Empathic leaders are observant of those under their care, and are skilled at active listening.
Empathy is even listed under the Leadership Requirements Model – Character in ADP 6-22. Yet, the Army rarely discusses this leadership trait that is essential to building many of the requirements in the Army Leadership Requirements Model.
I read a lot of books, and these books always portray the protagonist as an empathic leader who stands against the odds at all costs for what is right. A leader you want to follow and whose example encourages you to be a better person; while the antagonist is cold and unyielding, and uses fear and intimidation to influence his followers. So why do so many military leaders adapt this antagonist leadership style? Are our leaders lacking empathy? And what can we do about it?
LTC Harry C. Garner, U.S. Army, Retired wrote a great article on the topic of empathy, I encourage you to read it: http://usacac.army.mil/cac2/cgsc/repository/dcl_GarnerArticle.pdf
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Leadership
Posted >1 y ago
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I'll start with your middle paragraph. On the OER now, there are required comments on all of the attributes and competencies desired in an officer. One of those contains empathy as a subset. Now...how do you quantify that? Resiliiency is also on there. How do you quantify that in words? Very difficult. Even more difficult is actual empathy if you are set apart from the social demographic you are trying to empathize with. I am not your "typical" officer. I grew up in a two bedroom "duplex" (hovel) behind a bar on a dirt road. My dad was a laborer: truck driver, deep pipe layer (don't get any ideas...he was 5'5" and 150lbs and could fit through pipes checking fiber-optic cables and such), carpenter, mechanic, etc. We stuggled. My mom was an enlisted cook in the Army and never made it past Spec-6 because she was always getting in trouble. She married an infantry man. I grew up rough. That means I can empathize better than most. If you grew up in upper-middle class America in glorious suburbia, went to West Point, and then became an officer, you are going to have a harder time. It isn't impossible, it's just harder. I have to balance the good of the unit versus the good of the Soldier on a daily basis. Now...what's more important? My answer: you don't know until each problem set arises and you have to look somone in the eye. It's hard, but that's why they call it command...and leadership.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I would agree with you and say its harder for the privledged to develop empathy. As leaders, I would expect them to recognize their inabilitiy to use this trait effectively and find a way to use the tools at their disposable to develop a solution. For example, consult a leader who can empathize with their troops. Or others leaders lead by example and particpate in the tasks they expect their troops to perform so they can develop empathy.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I absolutely think that good leaders must have empathy. Nothing is black and white.
There are different reasons and different circumstances in every situation and leaders must be able to look at all aspects in determining the right course of action. Showing empathy is not a sign of weakness. It is a trait of a caring and involved leader.
I absolutely think that good leaders must have empathy. Nothing is black and white.
There are different reasons and different circumstances in every situation and leaders must be able to look at all aspects in determining the right course of action. Showing empathy is not a sign of weakness. It is a trait of a caring and involved leader.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I have commented on this type of discussion quite frequently here on RP. Character is the base attribute of leadership, you cannot be a leader without it. The Army Values, Warrior Ethos, Discipline, and yes, Empathy all fall under Character. You absolutely must have Character!
I would strongly caution putting empathy above the other sub-traits under Character. I am not saying to completely dismiss it but, you should use it sparingly. Human beings can sense empathy in their leaders much easier than any other trait because unlike the others it's emotional. Is it a weakness? It could definitely be considered one from some peoples view and maybe some of your subordinates.
Empathy definitely has it's place and time, as mentioned in most of the comments. Finding the right mix of leadership takes a long time and you will never perfect it. You are definitely on the right track and it's good to see young NCOs reading doctrine.
Great Post!
I have commented on this type of discussion quite frequently here on RP. Character is the base attribute of leadership, you cannot be a leader without it. The Army Values, Warrior Ethos, Discipline, and yes, Empathy all fall under Character. You absolutely must have Character!
I would strongly caution putting empathy above the other sub-traits under Character. I am not saying to completely dismiss it but, you should use it sparingly. Human beings can sense empathy in their leaders much easier than any other trait because unlike the others it's emotional. Is it a weakness? It could definitely be considered one from some peoples view and maybe some of your subordinates.
Empathy definitely has it's place and time, as mentioned in most of the comments. Finding the right mix of leadership takes a long time and you will never perfect it. You are definitely on the right track and it's good to see young NCOs reading doctrine.
Great Post!
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SGT Kristin Wiley
Sir,
I wouldn't put it above any other trait. I believe that leadership traits work harmonious with one another. If it can be sensed easier, how is it so lacking in our leaders?
If it is in the Army Leadership Requirements Model it should be encouraged in the right situations. If we don't use empathy, how can our soldiers learn when it is necessary to use? Our job as NCOs is to train soldiers, if we train them properly to use this trait they'll at least have the tools to try to use it effectively.
I wouldn't put it above any other trait. I believe that leadership traits work harmonious with one another. If it can be sensed easier, how is it so lacking in our leaders?
If it is in the Army Leadership Requirements Model it should be encouraged in the right situations. If we don't use empathy, how can our soldiers learn when it is necessary to use? Our job as NCOs is to train soldiers, if we train them properly to use this trait they'll at least have the tools to try to use it effectively.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I never said not to use empathy and I never said not to include empathy in training. Yes, leadership traits work harmoniously but, not all traits are created equal.
Empathy = sympathy, compassion, understanding. It means a lot of things and yes a leader should have all of those and use them when required in certain situations. But, if you use empathy constantly you become empathetic to everything.
Let's look at my job as an Infantryman. If I am empathetic central do you think I would be good at my job? Do you think I would be able to kill the enemy when necessary? Or, would I feel sympathetic towards my enemy? Would I be able to accept prudent risk and send my Soldiers, and myself into something that there was a good chance we would not survive? Or would I be to sympathetic?
That's a pretty drastic example but too much empathy will allow your Soldiers to take advantage of you as a leader. There is a time and place and you must have empathy in your toolbox without a doubt. I am just saying it's a sub-trait and using the Army Values, the Warrior Ethos and discipline more frequently with empathy sprinkled in where needed, in my opinion will better build your character as a leader.
I never said not to use empathy and I never said not to include empathy in training. Yes, leadership traits work harmoniously but, not all traits are created equal.
Empathy = sympathy, compassion, understanding. It means a lot of things and yes a leader should have all of those and use them when required in certain situations. But, if you use empathy constantly you become empathetic to everything.
Let's look at my job as an Infantryman. If I am empathetic central do you think I would be good at my job? Do you think I would be able to kill the enemy when necessary? Or, would I feel sympathetic towards my enemy? Would I be able to accept prudent risk and send my Soldiers, and myself into something that there was a good chance we would not survive? Or would I be to sympathetic?
That's a pretty drastic example but too much empathy will allow your Soldiers to take advantage of you as a leader. There is a time and place and you must have empathy in your toolbox without a doubt. I am just saying it's a sub-trait and using the Army Values, the Warrior Ethos and discipline more frequently with empathy sprinkled in where needed, in my opinion will better build your character as a leader.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I think as an Infantryman, you don't need to use it terms of being 'soft', but you need to understand how your soldiers are feeling especially in a tough situation (combat or personal). This gives you the capacity to find the best solution for your soldiers and the mission. Empathy would help you give your soldiers the courage and motivation to fight on knowing that survival is slim. I would rather have troops fighting to their last breath then laying down their arms in defeat because of a seemingly hopeless situation. "I will never accept defeat. I will never quit." Empathy is like knowing the hearts and minds of your soldiers, knowing what it takes to keep their head in the fight. The empahty you are describing seems more along the lines of sympathy/pity.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
Empathy is sympathy, they are synonymous. I don't know if I am getting my point across or if it's getting lost in translation. Again, I completely agree a lot of leaders lack or have not developed empathy in the way they lead and that empathy is an important trait a leader needs to build their character. However, you continue to push empathy as a central focus point for leadership.
You say that empathy gives you the capacity to find the best solution for your Soldiers and help give them the courage and motivation to fight. I would say that empathy plays a small part in doing that compared to some of the other leadership attributes below...
Presence - Confidence, resilience
Intellect - Sound judgment, interpersonal tact
Leads - Builds trust, leads by example
Develops - creates a positive environment. es sprit de corps
Now, empathy can be inserted into all of those attributes but it is not the central trait driving the leadership. You quoted the Warrior Ethos which falls under character along with empathy, again I believe the Warrior Ethos is the stronger trait but to fully instill the Warrior Ethos in your Soldiers you need to add a little empathy.
You are absolutely correct about the lack of empathy in leaders but it just sounds like you are pushing empathy to the top of the leadership requirement model and I just don't agree with an empathetic central leadership style for a military leader.
Below is part of a comment I made on another post about separating a NCO with 11.5 years in service that had only six months remaining. I gave this personal example because it shows that empathy is an important part of leadership but I used more than just empathy however in this certain situation it was probably the most prominent trait.
I had a female SSG in my battalion that was having a lot of issues with her child dependent and ex husband prior to the battalion deploying to Afghanistan. She couldn't get a proper family care plan. She was an outstanding NCO and I talked to her and told her that by the regulation I had to initiate separation. She completely understood, she was upset but understood. That discussion bothered me for days, it's all I could think about so I made a decision.
I told her that I was going to leave her back as the rear detachment NCOIC for the Female Engagement Team company. That would give her nine months to get her dependent situation squared away and if it wasn't, separation would be initiated. She did an outstanding job on rear detachment, fixed her dependent issue, was DA selected for Drill Sergeant but refused that because she was nominated for a ROTC scholarship. She is currently a cadet at the University of Texas El Paso. I can't wait to salute her!
If I wouldn't have used empathy in that situation that SSG would be out of the Army and we would of lost what is going to be a great officer. I mention this so you understand that I am not a hard nosed asshole but I fully understand leadership.
Great discussion!
Empathy is sympathy, they are synonymous. I don't know if I am getting my point across or if it's getting lost in translation. Again, I completely agree a lot of leaders lack or have not developed empathy in the way they lead and that empathy is an important trait a leader needs to build their character. However, you continue to push empathy as a central focus point for leadership.
You say that empathy gives you the capacity to find the best solution for your Soldiers and help give them the courage and motivation to fight. I would say that empathy plays a small part in doing that compared to some of the other leadership attributes below...
Presence - Confidence, resilience
Intellect - Sound judgment, interpersonal tact
Leads - Builds trust, leads by example
Develops - creates a positive environment. es sprit de corps
Now, empathy can be inserted into all of those attributes but it is not the central trait driving the leadership. You quoted the Warrior Ethos which falls under character along with empathy, again I believe the Warrior Ethos is the stronger trait but to fully instill the Warrior Ethos in your Soldiers you need to add a little empathy.
You are absolutely correct about the lack of empathy in leaders but it just sounds like you are pushing empathy to the top of the leadership requirement model and I just don't agree with an empathetic central leadership style for a military leader.
Below is part of a comment I made on another post about separating a NCO with 11.5 years in service that had only six months remaining. I gave this personal example because it shows that empathy is an important part of leadership but I used more than just empathy however in this certain situation it was probably the most prominent trait.
I had a female SSG in my battalion that was having a lot of issues with her child dependent and ex husband prior to the battalion deploying to Afghanistan. She couldn't get a proper family care plan. She was an outstanding NCO and I talked to her and told her that by the regulation I had to initiate separation. She completely understood, she was upset but understood. That discussion bothered me for days, it's all I could think about so I made a decision.
I told her that I was going to leave her back as the rear detachment NCOIC for the Female Engagement Team company. That would give her nine months to get her dependent situation squared away and if it wasn't, separation would be initiated. She did an outstanding job on rear detachment, fixed her dependent issue, was DA selected for Drill Sergeant but refused that because she was nominated for a ROTC scholarship. She is currently a cadet at the University of Texas El Paso. I can't wait to salute her!
If I wouldn't have used empathy in that situation that SSG would be out of the Army and we would of lost what is going to be a great officer. I mention this so you understand that I am not a hard nosed asshole but I fully understand leadership.
Great discussion!
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SGT Kristin Wiley - I hear ya my sister. When I was an active duty Marine there were SNCOs & officers that were given respect because of their rank God help them if they had to lead us in combat. Then there were men like SgtMaj Espinoza who I would still gladly walk through hell for to this day.
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Another attribute missing is humility. This article was very interesting to me: http://www.ausa.org/publications/armymagazine/archive/2014/Documents/12December14/FCenter_Doty_Dec2014.pdf
Not sure what causes leaders to lose sight of their responsibilities to Soldiers. Mission first, people always. The good leaders I've known have always considered Soldiers first. It's nice to know that Soldiers will do their duty as told, but it's to do it with confidence, faith, and trust in their leadership is an even greater honor to the leader. Work harder for them, they'll work harder for you.
Not sure what causes leaders to lose sight of their responsibilities to Soldiers. Mission first, people always. The good leaders I've known have always considered Soldiers first. It's nice to know that Soldiers will do their duty as told, but it's to do it with confidence, faith, and trust in their leadership is an even greater honor to the leader. Work harder for them, they'll work harder for you.
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You are right on "Point" sarge. You must be empathetic when being a leader. Ive strived to be like that in all of my leadership roles. It is the BEST trait any leader should have or be trained for. (USCG leadership and management sch)
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My take on Leadership. (short answer)
Balance. You cannot be one thing, one way all the time in every situation. There is a time to be authoritative and there is a a time for empathy. Some leaders lean towards one way to heavily and compromise their "base".
One key factor: Know your Soldiers (or Airman, Sailors, Marines); knowing their circumstances, past performance (or habits) plays paramount in the tact you should take.
Balance. You cannot be one thing, one way all the time in every situation. There is a time to be authoritative and there is a a time for empathy. Some leaders lean towards one way to heavily and compromise their "base".
One key factor: Know your Soldiers (or Airman, Sailors, Marines); knowing their circumstances, past performance (or habits) plays paramount in the tact you should take.
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Great post. I talked about this at my last promotion board. What got me thinking about it at the time was I got a call from one of my troops who just got tagged with supporting an Air Evac mission here state side. She called upset because she got "talked to" by some supervisor who told her she shouldn't be crying when off loading patients or while speaking to them. This was the extent of her counseling measures. So not only was she not empathidic to my troop but made me wonder why that attitude would be in a medical unit or even get promoted. One would say "oh, you gotta be hard ass because people will fall apart if you don't maintain military bearing" fuck that...I had a unit commander who used to cry when presenting awards and giving heartfelt speeches. Empathy builds trust. If you don't make an attempt to get me...I don't trust you. What has assured the survival of the human species is empathy and cooperation. We help one another, it's our strongest instinct. Sadly some folks have no idea what that means and the military dose little to foster that quality in its leaders. To answer your question as to why leaders adopt an antagonistic style...that's what happens when you give power to powerless people. some people never felt in control of anything their whole lives (Freud would say it's starts with potty training) and then they are given control over others and the fear of being found out, of being out of control causes the internal conflict that plays out in the arena of life. Sorry for the TMI but I have given a great deal of thought to this in the past. I've met some truly reducilus leaders.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I think it's paramount to building trust. I would want someone who genuinely cared whether I lived or died giving me medical care then someone who was just doing it as part of their job.
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Empathy is not what many Junior service members and leaders want it to be... When I decided to keep a SM in the field learning the skills and training needed to fight and Survive on the battlefield vs letting them go back to Fort hood for the 2, 3rd, 4th ultrasound of what was a planned and non complicated pregnancy,, I was showing Empathy for that Soldier.. I believed after it was all said and done "Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another" Includes seeing the big picture and knowing the feelings that SM wants to share with their new child and wife cant happen if they are DEAD.
Empathy can include consideration of things not immediately tangible. We can have Empathy for the SM feelings now, but have the education and experience as leaders to know, what they need is more important than what they want. A leader can empathize with a SM and still not give them what they want, just what they need.
Junior SM that think they know it all have been bucking that idea as long as there have been junior soldiers.
And it has gotten worse with the ME generation, the "I want it now" type of SM that have come to serve in the last 10~15 years.
Empathy can include consideration of things not immediately tangible. We can have Empathy for the SM feelings now, but have the education and experience as leaders to know, what they need is more important than what they want. A leader can empathize with a SM and still not give them what they want, just what they need.
Junior SM that think they know it all have been bucking that idea as long as there have been junior soldiers.
And it has gotten worse with the ME generation, the "I want it now" type of SM that have come to serve in the last 10~15 years.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I agree with SFC William Laws empathy and sympathy are often confused. Empathy was understanding what that SM was going through and using that to make the best decision for the SM, the team, and the mission. In your scenario, it was more important for the SM to be in the field. I'm sure this decision has helped his family become more reslient, knowing that his duty will often come before the needs of his family.
I do know my generation gets a bad rap, and you're right that many of them have an entitled mentality. I also think that part of the problem is that their leaders do not know how to empathize with them. Empathy in the aspect of understanding their culture and goals in order to know how to lead them and develop them into the leaders the Army needs. My generation did not raise themselves, and if they move up in the ranks with these poor character traits then I see that as a fault of their leaders.
I do know my generation gets a bad rap, and you're right that many of them have an entitled mentality. I also think that part of the problem is that their leaders do not know how to empathize with them. Empathy in the aspect of understanding their culture and goals in order to know how to lead them and develop them into the leaders the Army needs. My generation did not raise themselves, and if they move up in the ranks with these poor character traits then I see that as a fault of their leaders.
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Empathy is sometimes criticized as weakness, and weak leaders believe that.
However, a criticlal thinkers we see that empathizing for what it is. They will understand if an act of empathy does not prevent mission accomplishment or cause the loss of life; then why not.
As enlisted, I hated standing in formations and sweeping the motorpool so later as a leader, what sucks from my personnel better be neccessary or I am wasting effort, morale and time. Not mine but theirs. Sometimes it is hard to get others to see that no matter how hard you try.
However, a criticlal thinkers we see that empathizing for what it is. They will understand if an act of empathy does not prevent mission accomplishment or cause the loss of life; then why not.
As enlisted, I hated standing in formations and sweeping the motorpool so later as a leader, what sucks from my personnel better be neccessary or I am wasting effort, morale and time. Not mine but theirs. Sometimes it is hard to get others to see that no matter how hard you try.
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