Funniest thing youve heard while in the military?

Everyone's got one, so what is your "hands-down" funniest, most entertaining or interesting military story?  It could've been from training, a deployment, or even something that helped to break the tension in an operational environment; perhaps a humorous tale stateside, or when working with international partners OCONUS... I know you all have a million of 'em, so here's your chance to share the best-of-the-best of your go-to knee-slappinest or most incredible military-related stories. I've heard some awesome stories over the years, just one easy rule to follow here, try your best to keep it clean, and remember to leave a little 'something' to the imagination! lol I'm certain this'll be an absolute blast folks, so break out that ol' sea bag full o' stories... and dust off your best, 'cause we're all ready for a good belly laugh here! I can't wait to hear these, I know that you all have some gems, so let's get started; thank you for all that you do, and... see you all in the discussion threads!