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Hello, my people! I was recently asked to provide input on an NCOER we're writing for an E-6 who recently transferred to our shop. His losing unit did not write him an outgoing NCOER, so of course it falls on us to pick up the pieces.
The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.
He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:
* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying
So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.
He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:
* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying
So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
Humor
Evaluations
NCOER
OER
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 401
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Specialist E-5 and above mafia’s gon’ getcha. I can’t think of anything dumber than a buck.
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For me and again this is me as 1SG and looking at everything that comes across my desk before it is due to BN . I take Evals very serious and it means do or die to the high three ranks . Their have been those I’ve rated that have slipped through the cracks but they never did not on my watch . Usually my higher wouldn’t allow an Eval report to be used as a way for humor . It is true I’ve had side bar conversations about what I wanted to say about air breathers in my unit .
The key to a successful Eval report is quantifiable information based on facts and stats .
The key to a successful Eval report is quantifiable information based on facts and stats .
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I wrote one years ago that I still use today for police officers.
"I wouldn't let this guy supervise a pencil"
"I wouldn't let this guy supervise a pencil"
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I just filled out pro/cons for a brand new PFC (E-2) at my unit. I'm his squad leader and wrote this:
"SNM showed up on his first day without a shave or haircut. SNM requires constant supervision to perform even basic tasks." All my Cpls read this and said, "How did he even survive boot camp?"
"SNM showed up on his first day without a shave or haircut. SNM requires constant supervision to perform even basic tasks." All my Cpls read this and said, "How did he even survive boot camp?"
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"On his best days, fails to meet his own low standards."
And, one I had to do on a supply sergeant because he had to have an EER -- "Does well that which interests him." Of course, he ended up in a billet where he need TS/SCI access. That didn't go so well...I was coming in after PT, already pissed off, and the CO greeted me with "Oh First Sergeant! You have a visitor, Mr. Smith from the CI detachment. He needs to talk to you about Sergeant Shit for Brains. I stared at him, stared at the CI agent and just said, "How the hell did anyone put him in a billet that required that?" We sat down and the CI apprentice (yeah go figure) asked my opinion. "He would not intentionally betray the country; but, he'd also forget to lock the safe." I swallowed some coffee and then said, "I haven't had the interview for a long time, so I don't recall if the "Sex with animals question is still on there. If it is, Not to my knowledge. Every thing else, mark marginal." Kid said he had to go see the Chief because "Nobody ever says anything bad on these." Turns out the chief had been one of my students a decade earlier. Guy ended up not getting the access.
And, one I had to do on a supply sergeant because he had to have an EER -- "Does well that which interests him." Of course, he ended up in a billet where he need TS/SCI access. That didn't go so well...I was coming in after PT, already pissed off, and the CO greeted me with "Oh First Sergeant! You have a visitor, Mr. Smith from the CI detachment. He needs to talk to you about Sergeant Shit for Brains. I stared at him, stared at the CI agent and just said, "How the hell did anyone put him in a billet that required that?" We sat down and the CI apprentice (yeah go figure) asked my opinion. "He would not intentionally betray the country; but, he'd also forget to lock the safe." I swallowed some coffee and then said, "I haven't had the interview for a long time, so I don't recall if the "Sex with animals question is still on there. If it is, Not to my knowledge. Every thing else, mark marginal." Kid said he had to go see the Chief because "Nobody ever says anything bad on these." Turns out the chief had been one of my students a decade earlier. Guy ended up not getting the access.
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