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Is this a sense of inability to control your own destiny tied to some military experiences? Is this a sense of hopelessness? Is this a sense of years you can not get back before you got VA support and understood what you tried to forget? Is this the fact that you are just lucky and not really in control of much? Is the fact that you really do not want to act too aggressive strong courageous because you want to be extremely aggressive immensely powerful and it will alarm people?
Mental Health
Health
Philosophy
Posted 7 y ago
Responses: 13
I'd say the first thing do deal with these feelings is to reach out and talk to someone. There are so many resources out there and a person on the other end willing to listen.
https://www.rallypoint.com/resources/essential-support
https://www.rallypoint.com/resources/essential-support
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PO3 Aaron Hassay
I am still dealing with BCNR that will not administratively even mention my duty assignment. Without mentioning my duty assignment, all the STR medical diagnosis evidenced that basically went untreated because I was tough full of valor, not trying to punk out. People think I was administratively sitting at a desk, getting sick for no reason, which is not the case, as I was in an operational command. I was once on a path of the American Dream. I think part of the American Dream is having the reality of your command unit assignment being honored discussed appropriately for occupationally injury illness proximate to such duty. It seems administratively finishing my EOS honorably full term, was proof I was medically well fit for duty. But in the same administrative review they list multiple diagnosed on duty psych axis 1 issues that went untreated, uncleared for further duty. Not to bitch complain but the harder part is being alone so much because I have had a hard time having a significant other since those issues went untreated long ago allowed to snowball. I was once healthy well functioning 18 year old Varsity Athlete who was awarded Meritorious Paygrade Advanced Recruit Graduate Great Lakes 1994 18 years of age. I need to find strength in this. It is that honor dignity honesty in serving.
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PO3 Aaron Hassay The most important thing to remember is: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Many before you have felt the same things and many after you will feel the same way. The military can be an addicting environment because it is a place that (mostly) is sacred to all that have been a part of it. There are things I love about the military. Such as the camaraderie and the knowledge that you are one piece that makes up a whole. The conversations, the jokes, the people you come to care about that become more than coworkers but almost like a family. That we may fight and squabble about petty things but all of that would be forgotten in a moment for a mission or an incident, we all become one. It is fluid and quite amazing to watch, hard to explain but easy to feel. When you suddenly find yourself on the outside of this, after living within this environment (whether it be four years to 20 – or more) it can feel quite lonely. At these times, we have places to feel that camaraderie again. Places like Rallypoint, veteran organizations and programs that you can join or volunteer at. Just please always remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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There are so many of us that feel this way at times. Any time I feel negative emotions come over me, I look to my faith, family, friends and those with similar experiences who understand. SSG Carlos Madden brought up some great resources. Please do check those out. You can also chat with me if you ever need someone to listen.
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PO3 Aaron Hassay
I really appreciate any sharing on this. I will look into these resources. It seems just venting some dark thoughts is a way process things. I am not perfect and I might be wrong. My dad a Vietnam Vet Army 66-68 11th LIB Jungle Warrior passed away a few months ago. I did not know my dad when I enlisted 18. He was the classic untreated drafted soldier. They never much talk about or make movies about the children they had.
Look I know military service is all about honor integrity. But when can I really understand things outside of honor integrity dealing with emotions.
It seems in ways I can not understand completly all these things affected my 41 years on earth.
When I talk about it ending. It is am emptiness. It is a quite place where things are slow things pass. I am not sure what that even means exactly. I just need to breathe. God has the answers. I am lucky to be alive. I got to learn something and do something about it.
I want to get to the point where I can see some positive.
Look I know military service is all about honor integrity. But when can I really understand things outside of honor integrity dealing with emotions.
It seems in ways I can not understand completly all these things affected my 41 years on earth.
When I talk about it ending. It is am emptiness. It is a quite place where things are slow things pass. I am not sure what that even means exactly. I just need to breathe. God has the answers. I am lucky to be alive. I got to learn something and do something about it.
I want to get to the point where I can see some positive.
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