How do you lead; in civilian life?

By example. I work right alongside the guys I'm in charge of, and if there's ever a task that I would refuse to do myself, you can bet your life that you won't find any of my guys doing it either.

The answer to this question will depend on each individual definition of a leader or leadership. For me a leader is a person who is able to bring different minds together for a common goal. That common goal is usual the vision of a leader. Just because you are at a leader position does not make you a leader. So you can definitely lead in civilian life.

Keep the bar of excellence/expectations high.

I've had leadership positions in the Civilian Sector. I've volunteered with the American Legion and held several Leadership Positions

you don't.