Posted on Jul 31, 2015
How do you respond to a fan boy employer that constantly asks about life down range?
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My question is pretty simple, but the ramifications aren't. What do you do to deal with an employer that is a little too into military life and combat? I have an employer that watched Lone Survivor and wanted to know if every detail was authentic. His uncle was, supposedly, a SEAL in Vietnam, so he "knows" quite a bit. It is odd because I know he genuinely supports the military, but I also don't want to tell him stories that will make the workplace awkward. It's like he wants me to relive the worst days of my life as if they are a Michael Bay movie. What are your thoughts and have you dealt with this?
Civilians
Combat
Transition
Employment
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 90
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You've got some good responses and advice, so here's my suggestion: tell him if he wants to know about the authenticity of combat in movies depicting war, he should sign up and serve his country. That way, he can get a front row seat.
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SCPO Anthony Wingers
Good answer sir! Same one I use when folks ask what it is really like to live on a submarine and sneak around in hostile places. I could tell you all day long, but you would still not know. You have to go there and do that. So, go there and do that.
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PO2 Mike Shorey
Why the hostility? I understand that there are experiences that while they can be explained are not the same as if you were to experience them your self. Senior, I served on subs myself, MMN2(SS), and I enjoy the questions of what it was like. I do my best to explain my experience but it cannot be explained in its entirety through words alone. Also, Senior, you know that not everyone who goes Subs finishes and gets their dolphins. Many wash out because they are not cutout for our life, and/or we can't count on them when the SHTF. For those that have seen combat it is a bit of a different story. There are traumatic experiences that you don't want to relive, so don't share those. But, there has to be other experiences that can be shared. If possible, relate your experience at bootcamp and AIT to what it was like "in country." People are curious. Some people are NFQ for service. Share what you are comfortable sharing, and let them know that there is a limit. If they persist, and push you for more stand firm.
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SGT S Johnson
Don't tell them Anything that is Not rated PC or G.
All I said to my boss was that Playing the Video games in Surround sound Is Not the same thing. I also said I like to play Assassins Creed, you only use blades.
Next thing I know I have Been Suspended/Terminated for a Perceived PTSD.
PLEASE Read, Sign & Help a OH Combat VET's $HITTY TREATMENT by THE HYPOCRITICAL KRoger co, & Gov KASICH WON'T Help.
causes.com/posts/952750
All I said to my boss was that Playing the Video games in Surround sound Is Not the same thing. I also said I like to play Assassins Creed, you only use blades.
Next thing I know I have Been Suspended/Terminated for a Perceived PTSD.
PLEASE Read, Sign & Help a OH Combat VET's $HITTY TREATMENT by THE HYPOCRITICAL KRoger co, & Gov KASICH WON'T Help.
causes.com/posts/952750
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I would explain to him that it is a personal experience and that you do not feel comfortable talking to him about. If he presses the issue, it could be harassment.
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Cpl Christopher Bishop
I kinda want to agree here, however if Veterans want the citizens to give them any sort of respect far and above what they give anyone else, ya gotta give them something to go on...not everything has to be hush-hush all the time.
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Cpl Barry Goodson
Good call, MSgt. This is definitely workplace harassment and should be dealt with in a practical, delicate manner to ensure the offender is aware of that his inquiry is offense and unwelcome. If the offense continues, the Sergeant should file a case against the offender. However, most of these situations can be handled with proper management. I do agree that the public will only get the truth from a veteran. However, there is a time and place for such sharing and must be the veteran's choice...not from coercion by others. Semper Fidelis
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SSG(P) D. Wright Downs
By serving ones country, Cpl Bishop, one has earned the respect of the tax payers. Of course, I am not one to care about what the civilians think of me and my service. I served honorably, I have PTSD, I am an MST survivor and there are many things that do not belong to the curious who did not serve. I do not share the things that had given me nightmares for about 40 years until I was given a med that helped me. I can say, with a smile, that I don't talk about some things. I can talk about something that was fun that they don't know about. Civilians just want to hear something they don't know.
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I always wondered why these old war vets didn't talk about war very much till I went to war and came back. It seems like none of my family or friends cared or understood in the least. A couple of them asked the standard questions which almost always included, "Did you kill anyone?" So after awhile, when people ask, especially if I don't know them much, I just describe the scene from Saving Private Ryan where they hit the beach and I usually describe the scene from Tom Hanks perspective. I've only had one person call me out. Most people believe every word as I describe it with a melancholy look on my face. It seems as if the only real friends I have are Combat Veterans. It the only people I can understand anymore.
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SSgt Boyd Welch
I've gotten that question also "did you kill anyone?" from a nephew.. my answer was "me..."
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CWO2 (Join to see)
Funny. Only been asked that question once by a co-worker not long after I started my present job about how many 'kills' I had. I was a split second from raging, but I said something like "Lots. Women and children mostly. Not sure if they count, though." He gave me a long blank look, and I walked away. Pretty positive he didn't believe me(as HR never called me in), but he didn't call me out either. Even better, no more dumb questions. He's actually a pretty good guy. We're a non-DOD federal agency here, and it seems like no one has any knowledge of the military except what's on tv.
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PO1 Kerry French
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hilarious!!! I was thinking that if they are a co-worker, describe a scene from a movie. If it is the boss, and the experience was especially painful, just tell them you prefer not to talk about it and want to focus on work.
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