How do you truly come to terms with the death of a friend?

First, I'll give you my condolences. Honestly, I don't know how to answer that question. I've lost more friends from them cutting ties with me than through death so I've grown somewhat numb to losing friends. But for the few that I have lost through death, sometimes I might just talk to them out loud. Helps to get anything off your chest. Sometimes, I might raise a glass to their memory so they know they aren't forgotten. But if you're currently hurting, I might avoid alcohol. But talking to someone or even out loud might help you come to terms with the loss.

First off all let me say my condolences for your loss of two friends on one day. Very tough situation to work through. However, you will get through it. Not gonna sugar coat it...it will be tough but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have lost friends at a younger age, friends in combat, and friends as I get older. I also lost my father 4 years ago rather quickly to cancer. It is not easy but allow yourself to grieve...it is a natural process. If you can, take a day or two of leave and just start writing down the things you remember most of each one of them...good times, bad times, crazy and funny things you did and can remember. That way you can look back over the years and always honor their memory. Don't let it consume you as it very well can. Also, if there are other friends in your circles that you can call or Facebook with and share these stories you can laugh and cry together...it is ok to do that. Even soldiers eyeballs can sweat every once and a while. If you are not comfortable talking to your current friends then go see a Chaplain...trust me...it helps...they listen and it it is kept confidential. You have a life to live and the best way to honor your friends is to live it passionately and keep their memories alive. There will be times down the road when you will grieve again when you think about them and then pull out your notes and read those stories again. It will get better I promise but it won't get better overnight...there is no magical pill or formula that can help you get over this loss. It is something that you will have to work through and it is ok to grieve. You also have a group of people here on RP you can lean on. A lot of us have been there where you are and have waled a mile in those shoes and can help. Take care and God bless.

So you have probably heard all the crap about how it will get better with time and all you have to do is work through it. That's just a bunch of shit. The only thing time will fix is that you won't think about it all the time. Don't feel ashamed that you hurt. Hurt is good, hurt is honoring them. As the weeks go by you will think about it a little less each day. Then some stupid thing will happen and bring back a memory of them and all that grief and pain will be just as strong as the day you first found out. But that's good, that shows they are still with you. It's been 30 years since I lost my best friend in the service and just writing this brings it all back to the day it happened. Be tuff, as long as your still here they live through you.

Don't close your self up about them. Be open and share memories with others that knew them. It will be hard at first but the best way to deal is to remember the good. Laugh about crazy things ya'll did together and enjoy the memories you have with them. It will never stop hurting and you will think of them randomly but the best way I know of to deal with a loss is to continue your life and be someone that they would have been proud to be friends with. Just don't hold everything in because that could cause more harm than good.

Truly sorry for your loss young man. Two things I know that wont work, is holding it in and turning to the bottle. Both will lead down dark paths. Talk to the Chaplain, see a mental heath expert. There are channels that are offered to us, use them. Be open about it and celebrate their life not morn their loss.

It is not easy and there will always be the gap there that they filled in your life. Death is a part of life, we have to accept that. I lost two friends I served with to suicides (A few years apart). I think about them all the time and I try to keep their memory alive even in small ways like talking about them with other friends we shared. One of them, I have even kept in touch with one of his now adult sons. Try to stay connected to friends and family that you shared. Hang in there, it will get easier with time.

SPC (Join to see) first off I am sorry to hear of your loss. How I have felt with loss of friends, family, and Soldiers I have found that it helps to talk with others about that person to remember and celebrate the good times. They will never truly leave you and your memories. To this day I may be doing something and see or hear something that reminds me of them and it brings back memories. The main thing is not to bottle it up and try to get over it, rather go through it with others around you.