How have you dealt with PTSD?

Don't have PTSD, bit I do have bipolar. It's what caused my medical retirement at 20 Yrs, 3 Mos., 16 Yrs ago on the 3rd of March. What I would do is what has helped me. Offer support, a loving spirit, a caring ear to help my fellow brother or sister in arms deal with whatever they are going through. Sometimes that's been missing in my own dealings with the VA from Hampton, Va. to the Dingle Center in Detroit to here at the local clinic here in Mansfield, OH., at the Wade Park facility in Cleveland or both of the Chalmers Wylie facilities down in Columbus, OH.

medication and silence and more often then not riding my motorcycle

I deal with PTSD by doing some woodworking. I make walking sticks out of cedar limbs and crosses out of mesquite tree limbs. However, since I have moved to a new job away from my supply of cedar and mesquite I am looking for something else to do.

I have had serious issues in the past with PTSD. However, through the love and kindness of family, friends and a good therapist I grew from the experiences. As you can see by my picture God also played a major part in my recovery. I now counsel other veterans as well as first responders in stress issues. As veterans we are not alone we can reach out to other vets and family for help. This past couple of weeks I have assisted with a vet in Texas and one in Oklahoma; and I'm just outside Buffalo, NY.

Lets see in the past 25 years...

For 5 years I kept it all bottle up since no one wanted to hear it.

Then for couple years sex, sex, and sex..... had first wife talk to her, she was complete lunatic and tried to kill me once, due she had fear that I would molest her son. She always lied to me, to the point I have spent 20 years thinking she was Pregnant 4 times while we were married and she had 3 abortions and 1 miscarriage. She accused me all the time of cheating on her, so one night I did after so many times of being accused. She always did, anyways. I couldn't be out at night past such a time, but she could be out all hours. I was treated worse than a slave. Well she found me on Facebook and told me she had found God and was asking for my forgiveness. For putting me through all the shit she put me through. Here I have always thought I was the one being the dickhead in the relationship. Kinda rocked my already unstable world for few days. It was one of those things we agreed we should of been friend with benefit type deals.

After that it more sex, sex, sex... Finding myself with another Girlfriend and moving to Minnesota with here... spent two years there well she came home to see family and the next thing I know I am kicked out and her ex-boyfriend is moved in...well again for the next two years we see each other on off, seems she likes a man who eats at the Y. Didn't find out until later the last year we were seeing that she had married her boyfriend....

After that I went back into myself...and not safe fun place.for a couple years...

In 2000 I met my wife on ICQ as random chat, 3 week of chatting she came down to visit me, and it led to sex, sex, sex...see a pattern here...no honestly she and I have/had the most connection that I had ever felt, and she is my best friend. She knows more about me than anyone else in the world. It kills me that she was the one who put me out in the cold, I can understand why. I had withdrew into myself. What hurts more is she used our daughter current issues as cop out to get me out of the house, instead of saying she was the one kicking me out of the house. Not like I would be looking for another woman once I got the door. Due to issue that went on with members of her family, they transposed them into our family and our issues, and I am now in Saginaw, MI....Shrug.

So now I am trying to sort out all this mess. I am waiting for the V.A. to get me on the regular schedule for counselling again. As I try to sort things out on where I am going and what I am trying to do. Dealing with several mental issues and as well nerve pain in both my arms and my right thigh and lower back. It sucks when they tingle like they are going to go sleep, and you have neck and back pain almost all the time. No matter what medication you have.

Will make my counsellors life interesting once I get back into regular sessions, since I am completely torn if I can ever trust my wife again or not. My 13 year old daughter who going through here issue I understand her not talking to me, and what not. My son still talks me every night. I miss them all, I know I haven't been able to hold job for years due to my disabilities, but I have been trying to get schooling to get job. Then I had to stay up there to help her with her dad for years when he had to go to appointments daily. Now he passed, and my disability is being cut, I am now thrown out the door as things get tough....

During all them I had my up and downs. I had many times where I had fleeting thoughts of suicide, once I called and was put in the hospital this past January. At the time, I was really needed help, with everything, I had withdrawn too much into myself. I do believe I have PTSD, more than Depression, but the people who make those judgement say otherwise, but I have finally put in claim, now waiting game begins...

Not really being the outgoing person when I first met people doesn't really help. Well hopefully while I am here in Saginaw, MI things will start improving and I can bring my family together.

I checked into the RRTP program at the DOM in Temple, TX. I got kicked out because the staff talked to you anyway they wish. I spoke up and got kicked out. I feel for the vets that have to remain there. I was homeless on the streets. Better than disrespect! However, I heard the PTSD program in Waco, TX is wayyy better..

I am still dealing with it .....I will for the rest of my life.
I went to my local vet cntr and hooked up with a vietnam veteran who took me out for coffee and started a great friendship ..,, he. understands the emotions the roller coaster ride that I was and will always be on . survivors guilt and rotating back to home was my biggest problems....I miss my brothers so very very much ....
we walked through hell together , how do you relate to civs that have no idea what we have done ....how do you go from fighting for your life one day then sit and watch TV with your family the next ??

P.T. & Prayers, And understanding of my situation.

Jack Daniels, Crossfit, the Chaplain, and the MFLC.

Yes. Still do. It’s a constant battle everyday. Because not only am I dealing with mine I am also dealing with my husbands cause we both were down range together. But we are here and taking it one day and one step at a time.

Monica Cole (SPC)