Posted on Jul 7, 2018
How should I proceed if I know about an inappropriate relationship between a single sailor and a married woman?
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I'm having an issue a soldier's wife of mine has been having an inappropriate relationship with someone from the navy. He can't prove adultry but can prove that they have been messaging and sending snaps back and forth. The sailor is a diver (PO2). Is there a way to inform this dirtbags chain of command on what has been going on?
UCMJ
JAG
Fraternization
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 44
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Key phrase in your posting:
"He can't prove adultery..."
If there is no proof, then the answer to your question of "Is there a way to inform this dirtbags chain of command on what has been going on?" is NO.
Unsubstantiated accusations of misconduct is WRONG, regardless of how people may feel about it.
The chain of command isn't likely to take any official action BECAUSE it's unsubstantiated. And, if they DO take any kind of action and it turns out NOT to have been warranted, then the Petty Officer will have been wrongfully accused (and possibly punished) and the command will be at fault for that.
More, whoever made the accusations, being servicemembers, may in turn be prosecuted for this.
"Inappropriate", on the level you've cited, likewise does not warrant command involvement.
THAT SAID:
If proof of a violation of UCMJ punitive articles IS obtained, then there are essentially two avenues that may be pursued:
The soldier can notify the Petty Officer's chain of command by letter, which may or may not include a report chit filled out with the details of the UCMJ article violations.
OR
The soldier can submit a letter through his own chain of command to the Petty Officer's chain of command, which may or may not include a report chit filled out with the details of the UCMJ article violations.
Before any of this is done, however, I highly recommend this guy sit down and READ the UCMJ punitive articles and learn how to fill out a report chit in the detail required. This includes all the elements of each offense he's being accused of. If he cannot do this, then there is no point in submitting anything to the Petty Officer's chain of command because there will be nothing that the chain of command can, or will, do.
"He can't prove adultery..."
If there is no proof, then the answer to your question of "Is there a way to inform this dirtbags chain of command on what has been going on?" is NO.
Unsubstantiated accusations of misconduct is WRONG, regardless of how people may feel about it.
The chain of command isn't likely to take any official action BECAUSE it's unsubstantiated. And, if they DO take any kind of action and it turns out NOT to have been warranted, then the Petty Officer will have been wrongfully accused (and possibly punished) and the command will be at fault for that.
More, whoever made the accusations, being servicemembers, may in turn be prosecuted for this.
"Inappropriate", on the level you've cited, likewise does not warrant command involvement.
THAT SAID:
If proof of a violation of UCMJ punitive articles IS obtained, then there are essentially two avenues that may be pursued:
The soldier can notify the Petty Officer's chain of command by letter, which may or may not include a report chit filled out with the details of the UCMJ article violations.
OR
The soldier can submit a letter through his own chain of command to the Petty Officer's chain of command, which may or may not include a report chit filled out with the details of the UCMJ article violations.
Before any of this is done, however, I highly recommend this guy sit down and READ the UCMJ punitive articles and learn how to fill out a report chit in the detail required. This includes all the elements of each offense he's being accused of. If he cannot do this, then there is no point in submitting anything to the Petty Officer's chain of command because there will be nothing that the chain of command can, or will, do.
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CPO Glenn Moss
Good order and discipline can also be shown to be harmed on the cuck's side, too, since adverse effects on his performance may, indeed, have an adverse impact on good order and discipline.
Article 134 - Adultry also says "was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces". A servicemember committing adultery would certainly fit this description.
Any number of punitive articles may be invoked, depending on how much interaction there is and how well one reads the UCMJ Articles. If, for example, it can be shown that the Petty Officer in this case took any money, property, or anything else of value which rightfully belonged to the Soldier, then he could be charged with Art. 121 (Larceny).
Since we're talking about adultery here, there may also be a case for sodomy (unnatural carnal copulation), which is Art 125.
Depending on the circumstances, Art 134 - Indecent Conduct may also apply.
REGARDLESS...in the instance described by the OP, unless there is some form of evidence, nothing is likely to come of this.
Personally, if things are this bad, the Soldier needs to see a divorce lawyer and just cut ties with her all together and let her go be someone else's problem.
Article 134 - Adultry also says "was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces". A servicemember committing adultery would certainly fit this description.
Any number of punitive articles may be invoked, depending on how much interaction there is and how well one reads the UCMJ Articles. If, for example, it can be shown that the Petty Officer in this case took any money, property, or anything else of value which rightfully belonged to the Soldier, then he could be charged with Art. 121 (Larceny).
Since we're talking about adultery here, there may also be a case for sodomy (unnatural carnal copulation), which is Art 125.
Depending on the circumstances, Art 134 - Indecent Conduct may also apply.
REGARDLESS...in the instance described by the OP, unless there is some form of evidence, nothing is likely to come of this.
Personally, if things are this bad, the Soldier needs to see a divorce lawyer and just cut ties with her all together and let her go be someone else's problem.
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The soldier has some damning screenshots of their conversations and the sailor has known her for a long time.
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CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
You ain’t listening to RP. Why did you post it, if you din’t intend to respect the responses?
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I suggest that the first step is to contact the "dirtbag."
_Does he know the woman is married?
_Have you seen the content of messages and snaps they are exchanging? Knowing that content may be helpful if you feel it is appropriate to have a man-to-man with the sailor about the "appearance of impropriety."
_If the sailor blows you off, I'd talk to the person in his chain of command equivalent to you. I'd lay out your evidence, and let him know that you understand that it may not be the "proof" beyond a reasonable doubt, but it is enough to warrant some chain of command "advice."
_If the soldier doesn't object, I might send him to a chaplain prior to sending him to a divorce lawyer, especially if their are kids involved.
_Does he know the woman is married?
_Have you seen the content of messages and snaps they are exchanging? Knowing that content may be helpful if you feel it is appropriate to have a man-to-man with the sailor about the "appearance of impropriety."
_If the sailor blows you off, I'd talk to the person in his chain of command equivalent to you. I'd lay out your evidence, and let him know that you understand that it may not be the "proof" beyond a reasonable doubt, but it is enough to warrant some chain of command "advice."
_If the soldier doesn't object, I might send him to a chaplain prior to sending him to a divorce lawyer, especially if their are kids involved.
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Adultery only violates the UCMJ when "good order and discipline" has been compromised. So if your BN CO is banging a SGT's wife, within that chain of command or unit, that is an issue. Since these are two separate branches their is no violation. The best solution either way is for your soldier to man the fuck up and divorce his wife.
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It's definitely a bummer for your soldier, but you can't make anyone be faithful. It's why our drill sergeants used to tell us that Jody is banging our girl; it happens to every servicemember. There's no way that your soldier's marriage is going to make it in the long run; I'd tell him to stay positive and find another one.
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One of those hard lessons to learn in life...Best bet is to stay out of it.
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As many have said, without proof nothing "official" can be done to anyone. BUT, that doesn't mean something can't be done at all. You could still call the sailors commander and in a non-accusatory way tell him what your soldier's concerns are and see if he'd be willing to simply discuss the matter with his sailor. Give the sailor every benefit of the doubt that he may not know she's married. You're simply trying to protect the sailor and save your soldier's marriage. Most people I know would not have an issue with that. If the commander simply says anything to the sailor, it may be enough for him to realize that people are watching and to back off.
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I would have your Soldier get a lawyer, do all their prep work, then fix and finish them both.
You can have the Commander go to his Commander and get a no contact order, but if you go the other route she won’t be able to get squat out of your Soldier and it is a clean good bye
You can have the Commander go to his Commander and get a no contact order, but if you go the other route she won’t be able to get squat out of your Soldier and it is a clean good bye
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It is best you and anyone else knowing of this relationship to stay out of it.
A guilty conscious will inevitably be forth coming. Meddling in another's affair
is why, we, as a nation are in state we're in.
A guilty conscious will inevitably be forth coming. Meddling in another's affair
is why, we, as a nation are in state we're in.
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You could use several ways to inform the COC but if she is cheating on your soldier is she worth him keeping her around. If the COC does get involved the dependent wife will be the one who is most likely to be disciplined and removed from base. So you could advise the soldier to talk to the Chaplin for counseling’s or to JAG for a divorce. In this situation your soldier is going to lose his wife one way or another and there really is no reason to keep her around. I have seen and dealt with this before and the soldier who is being cheated on always lost. Coach him through it and always take any advice and counsel from trusted individuals.
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