I respect all members of all branches, but where is the good humored trash talk amongst the branches?

I was an HT-3 (3rd Class Perry Officer for those non-squids reading this) at the Oakland Airport preparing to report back from Leave on my way to San Diego. The flight was close but I HAD to take a leak. I was in my 70s style Zumwalt Navy Uniform with my Sea Bag in tow. I set the Sea bag down, did my business and grabbed my Sea Bag to dash for the flight when a Marine Lance Corpral (Same rank as I was E-4) said loudly "In the Marines they teach us to WASH our hands after we uninate!" to which I replied...."In the Navy they teach us not to urinate on our hands"...and scurried to make my flight......

Had to repost this from someone else !!

I recall a conversation I had during OIF with a good friend of mine who is a Marine.

He hit me with the old joke, "You know what ARMY stands for? Ain't Ready for Marine Yet!"

To which I replied, "and do you know what MARINE stands for? Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Non-Essential!"

We've been jabbing at each other every since.

I'm not crazy about US Marine's...can't stand most of them. Having said that, not many are too bright either...so here is my contribution.

3 Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first marine said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second marine said, "H*** no, those are elk tracks."
"You're both wrong," said the thid marine. "Those are moose tracks."
The marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.

At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).

The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.

The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".

An Army Cpt and his platoon were to take a hill from the Marines. The Cpt sees one Marine on the hill. He sends his most uber bad ass Soldier up. The solider comes rolling down 20 seconds later all beat up. The Cpt send 2 guys up and they come rolling back down. Now he gets mad and sends 20 men up. With in 10 seconds he sees them retreat and his men are screaming "it's a trick there is two of them".

A Marine , a sailor and a kid are in bath room ****ing. The kid ask the Marine for his hat (cover) and the Marine says get lost kid. The sailor offers the kid his hat and the kid replies no way I'm not gay!

A sailor walks into a bar owned by a old Marine. The Marine/ bar tender has a monkey behind the bar. Sailor asks what's with the monkey? Marine laughs and says watch this ****. Smacks the monkey on the head 3 times and it blows him. The Marine asks the sailor if he wants to try it? The sailor said sure but do not me as hard!

Sailor and a Marine are both in a bathroom taking a leak. The Marine zips up and goes to leave. The Sailor says "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands afters taking a leak."

The Marine replied "In the Corps, they teach us not to **** on our hands...."

Next headline: Marine shots self in foot destroying weapons!

We always said you had the Squids, Zoomies, and Jar-heads. We were Soldiers. Most would laugh, but you could always count on one Marine to get upset. Usually could calm them down by playing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" on a juke box.

Marines are like bananas. They come in green turn yellow and die in bunches.

1st Cav, US Army. The horse that was never ridden the bridge that was never crossed and the yellow speaks for itself.

how Many sailors does it take to change a light bulb? I will call a ET and find out.

Zoomies: sending the officers to die while enlisted stay at the country club.

Don't dis the Coast Guard. They save lives every single day.

SFC Szucs (Ret)