Posted on Oct 4, 2015
I went to the Chow Hall this morning, left pretty pissed off. Would you do the same thing I did?
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My spouse and I went to the gym this morning and had a great workout. After my shower, I went to the DFAC for Sunday morning brunch. spending time with the Soldiers as well as chow was great.
We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.
I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:
Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes
Me: Sir, please get your children under control!
At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!
How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).
We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.
I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:
Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes
Me: Sir, please get your children under control!
At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!
How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).
Fallen Soldiers
Respect
Disrespect
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 100
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This is why the M5 Knife Hand, and the M1-2 Throat Punch were issued to CSMs. This also why every CSM is constantly in a state of irritation.
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Well done CSM Michael J. Uhlig Very professional. Incredible restraint. Might I suggest contacting some of us retired NCO's next time and having us do some much needed covert ops? (off the books of course...lol?)
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I too would have intervened and reminded the parents to control their children CSM Michael J. Uhlig
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SSgt (Join to see)
SGT Dana Williams I would as well and depending on whether he was respectful and apologetic, I would be a nice as the situation warranted.
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As an E9, I think you engaged properly and calmly. Probably more calmly than I might have. I suspect this person was an officer (or you were not sure) as you referred to him as sir more than once. I might have asked him to step away from his table and had a polite word with him about the situation and the lack of deference being paid etc. If that didn't work, then off to the facility manager to let him/her engage. It is appalling this would happen in a military dining facility and someone appeared not to care what his children were doing.
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SSG John Mitchell
Cpl Jeff, I have seen more than one 1SG chew up an Officer for being a soup sandwich. Granted, they were respectful about it and if the parties involved got too heated, they took it behind closed doors. It's not something a Soldier will see on a regular basis but I had the privilege of working for a few 1SGs and Commanders that would go toe to toe with ANYONE as long as they were correct. That is an education that I learned with a quickness and applied later on when I had Soldiers to take care of in Garrison and be responsible for on the Battlefield. I was fortunate enough to have Officers and NCOs that would back me up because I understood when to be a Hardass. I didn't cause trouble unless I knew I was correct. You have to respect the Rank no matter what but the Man has to earn it and if you put my Soldier's lives in jeopardy, be it their pay or their actual physical being, because you were ate up, you were gonna have a bad day.
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CSM
I am a retired SGM, last position held was the Senior Mission SGM of my installation.
As a Senior NCO you have general military authority that charges you with maintaining discipline and order no matter Soldier or civilian anywhere on a military installation, this also includes off the installation if situation dependent with Military members regardless of branch. Also, unless told otherwise you are a representation for your Commander and the NCO support channel on your installation. I would've identified myself as CSM and proceeded with what you done. The second time I would've made the suggestion if you don't get your kids under control and if it happens again I will call the MPs to have you escorted from the premises. Stating this is a military facility and if he identified himself as a civilian I would've told him it's a privilege for you and your family. If either of them was a Soldier, well you know what steps you can take then. Regardless if Officer or Enlisted they are responsible for their family members to maintain order and dicilpline. In the meantime if I didn't own the DFAC I would've notified the manager to get me the CSM who owns the DFAC and pass the incident own to them so they know what's going on and what's coming their way as I would've saw the incident through.
Least case, next day I would've briefed the Commander and all relevant leadership that may be involved. If I owned the DFAC I would posted written rules and counsel all my NCOs for future guidelines of accepted behavior of all patrons. And empowered them on how to execute if any issues. Trust me, word would get out on how you are rectifying behavior in your space.
Worst case scenario if called the MPs they would've made the blotter and they would've had to explain themselves to someone for disrespect of the Fallen Soldier table. Also your Sr Mission Post CSM would've seen this and I know he would've assured you in your efforts.
Summary. Many Soldiers and civilians don't know the power a CSM/SGM has until tested. CSM exercise your authority. I can't think of any CSM/SGM that I knew while I was a SGM would've have left without having the situation resolved.
Hope this helps.
I am a retired SGM, last position held was the Senior Mission SGM of my installation.
As a Senior NCO you have general military authority that charges you with maintaining discipline and order no matter Soldier or civilian anywhere on a military installation, this also includes off the installation if situation dependent with Military members regardless of branch. Also, unless told otherwise you are a representation for your Commander and the NCO support channel on your installation. I would've identified myself as CSM and proceeded with what you done. The second time I would've made the suggestion if you don't get your kids under control and if it happens again I will call the MPs to have you escorted from the premises. Stating this is a military facility and if he identified himself as a civilian I would've told him it's a privilege for you and your family. If either of them was a Soldier, well you know what steps you can take then. Regardless if Officer or Enlisted they are responsible for their family members to maintain order and dicilpline. In the meantime if I didn't own the DFAC I would've notified the manager to get me the CSM who owns the DFAC and pass the incident own to them so they know what's going on and what's coming their way as I would've saw the incident through.
Least case, next day I would've briefed the Commander and all relevant leadership that may be involved. If I owned the DFAC I would posted written rules and counsel all my NCOs for future guidelines of accepted behavior of all patrons. And empowered them on how to execute if any issues. Trust me, word would get out on how you are rectifying behavior in your space.
Worst case scenario if called the MPs they would've made the blotter and they would've had to explain themselves to someone for disrespect of the Fallen Soldier table. Also your Sr Mission Post CSM would've seen this and I know he would've assured you in your efforts.
Summary. Many Soldiers and civilians don't know the power a CSM/SGM has until tested. CSM exercise your authority. I can't think of any CSM/SGM that I knew while I was a SGM would've have left without having the situation resolved.
Hope this helps.
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I had to vote "other". I am not a passive individual. I would have been very forceful and essentially forced him to keep his unruly children under control, no questions asked.
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig You were very nice and professional. I don't if I would have been as nice. I would have been professional, but if he didn't get a handle on the kids then I would have gotten the DFAC Manager involved. He needed to comply or gather up the Indians and depart. Parnets need to make their children mind and behave in the DFAC or any establishment as far as that goes. Good Job CSM!
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig I have never understood why parents don't control their children in those situations. I have seen similar behavior in civilian restaurants and it irks me I would have gotten the DFAC mgr involved.
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CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
LTC Bink Romanick Easy question Colonel. The parents (?)were lazy, not teachers of their children, irresponsible and accustomed to taking the easy way out!
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig Thank you for doing the right thing and enforcing the standard as well as protecting the symbolism of the fallen hero table.
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