Posted on Aug 3, 2015
PO1 John Miller
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!!!DUFFEL BLOG ALERT!!!

http://duffelblog.com/EXUEp

RAMSTEIN AB, Germany – Widespread panic occurred this week at 3rd Air Force Headquarters on Ramstein Air Base, Germany, after an intel officer used all these big words during his daily update brief.

Lt. Amit Reddi, an air defense analyst for 3rd Air Force, apparently threw the unit into complete chaos by explaining that “enemy maneuvers were nominal” and “aggregate troop movements indicated an absence of aggressive activity.” Further observations were muddled by the bedlam, but reports are that words such as “amalgamation,” “kinetic,” and “airplane” were among those that caused the worst uproar.

Despite all these big words, panic was held at bay until a member of the staff, an Air Force colonel, tried to repeat one of the big words “just to see how it felt.” At this point, the personnel commander, a former pilot, apparently became so frustrated that he flipped the table, and the flag officers scattered.

“You can’t just walk into a briefing and use big words,” Maj. Christina Burke, the commander’s executive officer, said as she tried to coax Lt. Gen. John Hardy, the 3rd Air Force commander, out of a corner. Burke explained that Hardy, who was desperately clutching a box of crayons during the classified briefing, was apparently unable to unzip his flight suit pocket to access his smartphone so he could “Google it.”

“It’s really my fault,” Burke continued as she bundled the general up in a blankie. “I was going to explain it all to him after I got him his coffee, but he just ran off and started yelling. I should have kept a closer eye on him. Now that he’s all riled up, he’s going to take forever to put down for a nap.”

The base’s air operations center has been on 24-hour alert for six days straight due to the briefing, and the American ambassador to Russia has been recalled. Reddi, the intelligence officer, has received a letter of counseling for his use of all these big words.

!!!DUFFEL BLOG ALERT!!!
Posted in these groups: Officers_logo Officers1024px-smiley.svg HumorD48af888 Airmen
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Responses: 10
SSgt Alex Robinson
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Once more I'm glad this is satire.
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CPO Joseph Grant
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Seriously, I used the word "imbued" on an evaluation for one of my guys. The DIVO, a mustang no less, said enlisted couldn't understand big words like that. He told me to dumb it down. I worked on my 20 year retirement plan by telling him he was an idiot and an ass.
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MSgt Bj Jones
MSgt Bj Jones
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Sounds like he was an idiot. The problem wasn't that enlisted can't understand big words. It was that he couldn't understand them. Insinuating that enlisted folks can't understand big words is stereotyping. There are smart and dumb people in both Enlisted and Officer ranks.
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CPO Joseph Grant
CPO Joseph Grant
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You can't make this stuff up, MSgt Bj Jones . This LTJG actually asked me if I could define imbued. I did and that's when he went full retard. After that day I made it my mission in life to keep his blood pressure high enough to stroke out.
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PO1 John Miller
PO1 John Miller
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CPO Joseph Grant, I always hated (still do) people like that. They don't understand words, so instead of looking that word up they play it off like other people won't know what the word means either.
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MSgt Bj Jones
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This is so funny. :D
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