Posted on May 5, 2015
Is leaving the military like experiencing a death in the family?
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I heard a story this weekend on NPR about separations - from the military, divorce, etc. The narrator maintained that leaving the military when one's hitch is up, or returning from a deployment and going our separate ways, is the death of a special bond we had with our comrades in arms, and we experience some parts of the grieving process that follow an actual death.
I didn't experience this feeling when I left the military - I think - because I continued to serve and work with my Army colleagues as a DA civilian. I do remember, however, missing the camaraderie and closeness of my first assignment with the 82nd Airborne Division. We were a very close team, squad, platoon, and even company. Our leaders built esprit de corps and unit cohesion like I have not experienced since. I did "grieve" a little and miss those guys a lot.
Veterans, did you find this to be the case when you left the military? Others, did you feel this when you left a particularly close-knit unit? Or a close circle of military friends? Do you think this is valid? Or is it bunk and psychobabble?
I didn't experience this feeling when I left the military - I think - because I continued to serve and work with my Army colleagues as a DA civilian. I do remember, however, missing the camaraderie and closeness of my first assignment with the 82nd Airborne Division. We were a very close team, squad, platoon, and even company. Our leaders built esprit de corps and unit cohesion like I have not experienced since. I did "grieve" a little and miss those guys a lot.
Veterans, did you find this to be the case when you left the military? Others, did you feel this when you left a particularly close-knit unit? Or a close circle of military friends? Do you think this is valid? Or is it bunk and psychobabble?
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Death
Camaraderie
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Yes, it's like our own death, but we're there to witness it. On second thought, maybe it's more like losing an identical twin.
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I thought that being in the military was like dying. I was swooped up by a giant, bloodthirsty, predatory bird and kidnapped from my civilian life. Then, I was thrown away once all my life-fluids had been sucked out of me. What I experienced in the army was later diagnosed as complicated post traumatic stress and complicated major depressive disorders. I also had a majority of my hearing, bilaterally, snatched from me. My army experiences were horrible and these experiences, of course, followed me back into civilian life. However, with much treatment, therapy, and psychotropic medications that I will be taking all of my life, I finally have some peace and quiet from what, for me, was the most nightmarish four years of my life.
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