Posted on Feb 11, 2015
SSG Loren Green
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I've been medically retired for 4 years and have switched medications 3 or more times. I've always been ask if I was suicidal, but I'm the opposite. I have told my doctors about being more homicidal than anything and they would ask me if there were a person in mind I wanted act on. Naturally I said no I didn't have the thought of acting, but mentally pictured it often. I had one psychologist tell me to avoid the unit in question all together. Needless to say I was at a different station at the time. The last 6 months I've been have having trouble with anger and rage to the point where I've driven 3 people off the road cause they got mad at me for passing them or what ever, but I find myself looking for trouble or looking for trouble makers. The problem I'm faced with is I do conceal and carry
and love my guns and don't want to lose them to my PTSD or doing something stupid. I've changed meds since and I've calmed down for the most part, but still find myself looking for that idiot to start trouble just to give me an excuse to shoot them. I haven't told my wife due to her father was a Vietnam vet that had flash backs and almost have killed her and her mom due to them. So what I'm asking is there a point I should be worried that I'll go over the edge or is it just time to see what else my doctors can do?
Posted in these groups: 78568930 PTSDHelp1%281%29 Counseling07f1cd1e Anger
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SFC Mark Merino
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As an outsider with no knowledge of you but your thread description I would say that you are desperately in need of assistance. It sounds to me like you need to talk to the VA's crisis hotline since you have no joy with your psychologist. A psychiatrist can prescribe different mental health meds, not a psychologist. I went through years of adjustments with dosages, new meds, and combination of therapy. Be honest with the professionals as well as yourself. Those guns need to go to someone for safe keeping if you are having rage issues. If you drink, STOP. Alcohol renders all those expensive, helpful meds into very expensive urine and the resulting benefits will be like a rollercoaster, or just non-existent. I had to attend a 4 month residential PTSD program that saved my sanity. Keep us in the loop, compadre.

https://www.rallypoint.com/resources/essential-support
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CSM Command Sergeant Major IN
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SSG Loren Green I also have/had some of the same issues as you. I am also a concealed license holder and have several pistols, rifles and shotguns. You have received a lot of good advice, but one thing I would like you to consider doing, and doing first thing n the morning.

Take all of your guns to one of your most trusted friends or family to hold for you until you get some of these issues worked through. If you do something with a gun, it is forever - for the person you might shoot and you, bit also remember you have a family, and they probably do also. Do a contract if needed for someone to hold them for you, but by you voluntarily taking care of it, you still keep them, and just remove the possibility of doing something in a split second that will ruin a lot of peoples lives.

If you are like me, it didn't take much to set me off and my temper goes from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. You said you have run people off the road and I know you have thought about doing something more serious with the guns. You can honestly tell your Doc's you do not have any (access to) guns and tell them everything you've been thinking - you shouldn't have to worry about losing your guns or your concealed carry this way, and get the help you need.

We can friend each other and talk via private messages if you would like. I'm here for you and want to help.
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Capt Richard I P.
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SSG Loren Green I'm going to add my voice to those that have already been raised. A counselor one explained to me that PTSD is a disorder of avoidance. You've already of identified the specific troubling symptoms and a few enablers that could escalate them quickly (weapons, driving). Now it's time to not avoid these concerns, but to address them. The very fact that you mention them is an indicator it may be time to take a break from them. As suggested storing guns with a trusted friend could prevent their loss forever.

I urge you to follow the same inclination that drove you to request advice here and seek to address these challenges. Take advantage of the offers of people who've been there before to talk it over. Things will get better.
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