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The value of an Officer VS a NCO
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
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Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 112
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This photo definitely speaks for itself . What in hell are these people thinking? This has to be one of those WalMart people? Can you just imagine what he looks like from the front?
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TSgt Melissa Post
I will never forget the briefings we had at MEPS. The NCO would climb up on the side of the ledge and run through his schpeel. He would always say "And if your pants are going to sag, they better sag UP!"
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4 Worms In Church"
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead .
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead .
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead .
Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive …
So the Minister asked the congregation,
"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate,
You won't have worms!"
That pretty much ended the service !
Today is International Disturbed People's Day.
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend...
Just as I've done. "Hang in there, sunshine.
You're special!
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead .
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead .
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead .
Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive …
So the Minister asked the congregation,
"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate,
You won't have worms!"
That pretty much ended the service !
Today is International Disturbed People's Day.
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend...
Just as I've done. "Hang in there, sunshine.
You're special!
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I like jokes, but consider the forum your joke is being shared in. Some jokes are appropriate in a bar setting among a small group of intimate friends and some are definitely NOT appropriate while speaking to an audience of a few thousand while you stand at a podium in a setting geared towards professional leadership development.
I love social media, but consider every post we write as being delivered from behind a podium and tell jokes appropriate to that audience.
I can take or tell a crude joke with the best of them, but I also know where to do it.
I love social media, but consider every post we write as being delivered from behind a podium and tell jokes appropriate to that audience.
I can take or tell a crude joke with the best of them, but I also know where to do it.
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In this joke you may have to read it twice before it clicks, what it says:
A man and his son go to visit an Indian reservation. The Indian Chief is supposed to have the greatest memory in the Indian Nations. The father and son walk around a little bit and then the father asked the Indian Chief what he normally eats for breakfast. Thr Indian Chief tells him bacon and eggs every day. About two years later, the father and son decide to go visit the Indian Chief again to see if he remembered them. They walk up to the Chief and the father raises his hand to the Chief, and says, "How". The Chief looks at him and says, scrambled..
A man and his son go to visit an Indian reservation. The Indian Chief is supposed to have the greatest memory in the Indian Nations. The father and son walk around a little bit and then the father asked the Indian Chief what he normally eats for breakfast. Thr Indian Chief tells him bacon and eggs every day. About two years later, the father and son decide to go visit the Indian Chief again to see if he remembered them. They walk up to the Chief and the father raises his hand to the Chief, and says, "How". The Chief looks at him and says, scrambled..
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Heard the one about the old Texas cowboy visiting the big city who strays into a lesbian bar? He sits down on a bar stool next to a tough-looking woman in biker leathers; tips his hat politely; and says, “Howdy, ma’am.” She looks at him hard and says, “Don’t ma’am me, cowpoke. I’m a lesbian. All I think about is young, beautiful women and their soft, lovely bodies, and all the things I can do to them. That’s all I think about, day in, day out, at night, all night and all day when I’m at work.” Thinking she’d shocked him, she challenged him with, “So whaddaya think about that?” The old fellow looks at her for a long thoughtful moment and responds, “Well, when I walked in here I thought for sure I was a cowboy, but dang if you ain’t got me wonderin’ if mebbe I ain’t a lesbian.”
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Cpl David McLeod
Had to call of sick today, went golfing yesterday hurt my leg----- fell off the ball washer!!!
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DON'T GET A DUI THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON
I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DUI!! It saved me!!
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends.
Well, two days ago, it happened to me. I was out for the evening to a Christmas Party and had more than several margaritas coupled with a bottle of rather nice red wine. It was held at a great Mexican restaurant!!
Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something I've never done before - I took a taxi home!
Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident. These roadblocks can be anywhere and I realized
how lucky I was to have chosen to take a taxi!!
This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call.
Merry Christmas and be safe out there!
I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DUI!! It saved me!!
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends.
Well, two days ago, it happened to me. I was out for the evening to a Christmas Party and had more than several margaritas coupled with a bottle of rather nice red wine. It was held at a great Mexican restaurant!!
Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something I've never done before - I took a taxi home!
Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident. These roadblocks can be anywhere and I realized
how lucky I was to have chosen to take a taxi!!
This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call.
Merry Christmas and be safe out there!
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Hi babe. Sorry for not calling you on New Year's, but I just got out of jail. I was
locked up for punching the shit out of this idiot at a party. In my defense,
when you hear an Arab counting down from 10 your instincts kick
in.
locked up for punching the shit out of this idiot at a party. In my defense,
when you hear an Arab counting down from 10 your instincts kick
in.
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At St. Peter's Catholic Church, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?
Giuseppe proudly replied, "I gonna go picka her up."
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?
Giuseppe proudly replied, "I gonna go picka her up."
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