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The value of an Officer VS a NCO
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
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Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 112
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Here's something to think about. Do you think if Russia attacked Turkey from the rear, that Greece would help? I had to ask, after all it is Friday!
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A really tall black man is I an elevator when a white guy gets on. The white guy looks at the black man in a kind of awe.
The black man knew the questions usually asked so without prompting he says:
" 7 feet, 6 inches, 340 pounds, 21 and a half inch penis, 7 and a half pound testicals, Turner Brown".
The white guy goes dead pale and passes out. Mr.brown rushes over to try to revive him. As the white guy looks up, he asks in a shaky voice:
" What was that last thing you said?"
Mr. Brown looks a little confused and says:
"Turner Brown, my name, Turner Brown."
The white guys face floods with relief:
" Sweet Jesus, I thought you said turn around."
The black man knew the questions usually asked so without prompting he says:
" 7 feet, 6 inches, 340 pounds, 21 and a half inch penis, 7 and a half pound testicals, Turner Brown".
The white guy goes dead pale and passes out. Mr.brown rushes over to try to revive him. As the white guy looks up, he asks in a shaky voice:
" What was that last thing you said?"
Mr. Brown looks a little confused and says:
"Turner Brown, my name, Turner Brown."
The white guys face floods with relief:
" Sweet Jesus, I thought you said turn around."
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So, I was walking through the mall and saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."
I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do have a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?”
The clerk said,
"Fuck off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do have a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?”
The clerk said,
"Fuck off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
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SSG Nick Tramontano
The barracks next to mine at Bragg had 3 Hawks on a mount. One night some of the guys hooked up a chan and turned the hawks to face the building !!
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MAJ Anthony DeStefano
I wish I could say I disagree...I really do. I have always been one to give the benefit of the doubt to all... but I have never seen a moderate muslim decry foul the excess of the radicals, I have never seen a moderate muslim say that he did not desire the universal caliphate of Islam over all the world's peoples...I have never seen a moderate muslim cry foul over the murders of French cartoonists... Maybe I have never seen a moderate muslim? I assume they exist, but until they grow a pair and speak up against ISIS/IS and the rest who have hijacked the very essence of Islam...I cannot disagree.. Or is the very essence of Islam on display with the severed heads and burnt bodies of "infidels". I had a lot of hope when I saw the purple thumbs of Iraqis just after they voted for the first real time in their lives...hope that a new way of life would prevail there... a way of life won hard with American kids doing their duty to the fullest capacity of the word. Maybe it's me. Maybe I just don't get it...
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A bit long and better when told but her goes
One day a elementary school teacher decided she would give her students a spelling quiz in alphabetical order. Of course little johnny being the foul mouth smart ass that he is instantly raised his hand..
Teacher: can i get aw ord for A?
Johnny: ohhhh please pick me please please i know this one( evil grin)
The teacher realizing johnny would utter foolishness completely ignored him and called on Susie who answered with "Apple"
Teacher: class how about a word for B?
Johnny reaching is hand as far as i would go: please teacher please i know this one!(evil grin)
Again realizing that B would be a curse word from johnny she pick tim who answered with "ball"
This went on for the rest of the alphabet and johnny kinda realized he would not get a chance to play. When the teacher got to R, johnny just half hazardly threw his hand up. The teacher realizing no one else had raised their hand, and not being able to think of one bad word with R decided she would call on johnny
Teacher: okay johnny youve been patient enough, go ahead and give me a word for R
Johnny: Rat
Teacher: good job johnny im very impres..(johnny cuts her off mid sentence(
A HUGE FxxKING RAT WITH A Dxck >____________________________< THIS BIG!!!!
One day a elementary school teacher decided she would give her students a spelling quiz in alphabetical order. Of course little johnny being the foul mouth smart ass that he is instantly raised his hand..
Teacher: can i get aw ord for A?
Johnny: ohhhh please pick me please please i know this one( evil grin)
The teacher realizing johnny would utter foolishness completely ignored him and called on Susie who answered with "Apple"
Teacher: class how about a word for B?
Johnny reaching is hand as far as i would go: please teacher please i know this one!(evil grin)
Again realizing that B would be a curse word from johnny she pick tim who answered with "ball"
This went on for the rest of the alphabet and johnny kinda realized he would not get a chance to play. When the teacher got to R, johnny just half hazardly threw his hand up. The teacher realizing no one else had raised their hand, and not being able to think of one bad word with R decided she would call on johnny
Teacher: okay johnny youve been patient enough, go ahead and give me a word for R
Johnny: Rat
Teacher: good job johnny im very impres..(johnny cuts her off mid sentence(
A HUGE FxxKING RAT WITH A Dxck >____________________________< THIS BIG!!!!
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A woman asked her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and
buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again.
Men will get it the first time.
buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again.
Men will get it the first time.
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The family of a retired Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant with 32 years in the Corps reluctantly decided that at age 92, he needed more care than they could provide. The only decent place close to their home was a nursing home for retired soldiers. They approached the facility and were told that, while Army vets got first choice, they would take vets of the other services if there happened to be an opening; which, by good fortune, there was.
A week after placing the retired Marine there, his sons came to visit."How do you like it here, Pop?" they asked.
"It's wonderful," said the old Marine. "Great chow, lots to do, and they treat everyone with great respect."
"How so, Pop?”
"Well, take Harry, across the hall, 88 and was in the Air Force. He hasn't worn the uniform in 30 years, but they still call him 'General.'
Then George, down the hall, used to lead the Army band. Hasn't conducted a note in 40 years, but they still call him 'Maestro!'
And Bob used to be a surgeon in the Navy, has not operated on anyone in 20 years, but they still call him 'Doctor.’ "
"That's fine for the other guys, Pop, but how do they treat you?”
"Me? They treat me with even more respect. I'm 92, haven't had sex in 10 years, and they still call me, 'That Fucking Marine!'"
SEMPER FI!
A week after placing the retired Marine there, his sons came to visit."How do you like it here, Pop?" they asked.
"It's wonderful," said the old Marine. "Great chow, lots to do, and they treat everyone with great respect."
"How so, Pop?”
"Well, take Harry, across the hall, 88 and was in the Air Force. He hasn't worn the uniform in 30 years, but they still call him 'General.'
Then George, down the hall, used to lead the Army band. Hasn't conducted a note in 40 years, but they still call him 'Maestro!'
And Bob used to be a surgeon in the Navy, has not operated on anyone in 20 years, but they still call him 'Doctor.’ "
"That's fine for the other guys, Pop, but how do they treat you?”
"Me? They treat me with even more respect. I'm 92, haven't had sex in 10 years, and they still call me, 'That Fucking Marine!'"
SEMPER FI!
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