Opinion: Guilt or Innocence is becoming irrelevant in today's Army. Do you think a SHARP allegation alone is merit for separation?

I have had a ridiculously traumatic, life altering, eye opening experience over the past 16 months... The process has all but come to an end as I await my Terminal Leave to start on 19 March 2019. I am currently stationed in Korea and have been since JUNE 2014. I am a SSG with 14 years and 5 months Time in Service and currently "INDEF". Nothing can change my outcome, and I have given up fighting, but if nothing else, maybe someone can learn from my experience; maybe the Army will change (highly doubt it); maybe I just want someone to read and think "BS, this could never have happened in real life", or "He's definitely making this shit up."
I think really I just want my story to be heard. I thought long and hard about whether I would share it, because after what has happened, I am honestly terrified of how much damage one unproven allegation can have on an otherwise outstanding soldier's career and life. I am still terrified, quite frankly, that somehow just writing my side of the story may somehow still result in some ungodly unjust and unfair retaliation against me by my Command should they somehow read this. However, I feel that the more these types of actions are carried out "in the dark" so to speak, the worse they will get and the more it will happen.

Throughout this story there will be multiple, if not many, times that you shake your head and mutter "wtf were you thinking"? Trust me, I have already learned in the most eye-opening way possible how foolish and naive I was about many things. If you have read this far, please buckle up, be patient, and read to the end. You don't even have to comment. Just take my situation as a very strong word of caution to anyone who even has the slightest chance of ending up at the beginning of the path I have traveled.

This whole process started with a false allegation of sexual assault by my now ex-wife (Separated November 2017; Divorced NOV 2018).
We were married in FEB2015 after knowing each other for one month. I was TDY from Korea to attend Advanced Leaders Course in Fort Huachuca. We married before I returned to Korea and I brought her out after getting in-country command sponsorship approved that summer. shortly after this the problems began, but it's easier to make sense of the story if I skip to the end first.

There is no proof of the sexual assault allegation except her word. No video evidence, no audio recordings, no witnesses, no physical marks, no rape kit, no admission of guilt, no statement from the alleged perpetrator (me), no nothing. Apparently enough to get me involuntarily separated under Chapter 14-12c though... Commission of a Serious Offense. In the beginning I thought, "the Command will easily see through this as a vindictive attempt to ruin my career and it will be dismissed." Here I am 16 months later and I wholeheartedly believe I am lucky to escape with a General Discharge. Although my DD-214 will forever say "Misconduct (Commission of a Serious Offense)" under the reason for discharge.

I said there was zero evidence supporting her claim of sexual assault; however, there HAS been 3 separate Domestic Violence (DV) "incidents" where the Military Police (MP) or Command have gotten involved.

DV incident 1. (OCT2015): She called the Korean National Police (KNP) to an off-post hotel we were staying in. She was completely intoxicated (breathalyzer showed .15, administered by the MPs approximately four to six HOURS after she had stopped drinking and after their initial arrival to the scene). I was completely sober (breathalyzer showed .007[yes two zeros] administered immediately upon arrival by the MPs).

DV incident 2. (SEP2017) I called the MPs, in our off-post apartment, while seated against the locked bedroom door of our 3-month old daughter (I was holding the infant) as she stabbed the door with a butcher knife. Again, she was intoxicated, and had assaulted me while I was feeding the infant, causing the infant to slip from my arm and strike the floor. She admitted she had been drinking to the KNP when they showed up. They asked her if she had been drinking almost immediately after arriving to the scene because they smelled alcohol and her behavior was extremely aggressive (their words). I had BEGGED the MPs to come to the apartment because I knew I had a much better chance of documenting her drunken and violent nature if US Law Enforcement Personnel were there VS. Korean Law Enforcement personnel. I even had the audio recording from my 911 call to the MPS, and included it in the rebuttal to the General Officer Memorandum Of Reprimand (GOMOR) I would eventually receive AND the BDE Letter Of Reprimand (LOR) rebuttal.

DV incident 3. (OCT2017 [she eventually reported me for sexual assault in NOV2017, while we were in a joint counseling session, after becoming furious while discussing the terms of our pending separation]): This was the night of the alleged "sexual assault". That night I was attempting to restrain her while SHE was attempting to stab herself with a knife in both hands... She was, again (you guessed it), intoxicated... after I had wrestled the knives away and kept her semi-restrained to prevent self-harm, I went to get her water at her request... at which point she ran downstairs and asked the guard to call the KNP, who promptly showed up and arrested me...

So, of course, in all of the administrative reprimands it says things like "...you wrongfully and forcefully assaulted your spouse [insert false, unproven allegation from ex, stated as FACT here]"... the night of the OCT2017 incident she accused me of "punching her in the face" and "kicking her in the leg"... based on the KNP police report.

Oh by the way, she had (by her own admission and evidence submitted by me) multiple affairs with several soldiers here in Korea while we were married (they were all married themselves as well)... and to make it even better, the infant referenced above was a result of one of these affairs. I knew when I learned of the pregnancy that the child was not mine but offered to raise her as my own because I 1000% believe all life is precious , and an abortion is what my ex was leaning towards because the father had a wife back in the states and did not want the child.

Everything I have stated was presented, with evidence, to my entire chain of command; from Company all the way to the CG of Eighth Army, but none of it had a positive impact for me. I doubt they even read or looked at all of the evidence. the entire process was extremely long, painful, and methodical. First the flag for adverse action in March of 2018 (failed article 15 because they tried to give it to me based on an alleged event that happened over 2 years prior, which is over the statute of limitations for Article-15).

That flag remained over over 6 months AFTER the article 15 was dropped... which also caused me to go past my DEROS and kept me in Korea. Throughout this process they continued to give me 60 day Involuntary Foreign Service Tour Extensions (IFSTEs) based on "pending investigation; need time to complete investigation" even though the investigation had been finished months prior to the initial IFSTE. My 1SG even had me WRITE MY OWN IFSTE, as I was the Orderly Room NCO (pulled from my normal duties by my BDE CDR as soon as I was accused of Sexual Assault). That IFSTE was kicked back by Brigade because, duh, you cant have the soldier who is being involuntarily extended write his own fucking extension. I had respectfully and tactfully told this to my First Sergeant on multiple occasions but eventually gave up when he refused to acknowledge my point, even though there were others who could have created the 4187.

Then they hit me with a GOMOR in JUN2018 for "Domestic Violence" about 3 weeks after my original DEROS had expired. I submitted a lengthy rebuttal with 14 character reference statements including four from my previous two commanders and first sergeants.

Then a "Did not meet standards" on my NCOER the same week as the GOMOR (based on the now "substantiated" sexual assault allegation.... I still have no idea how they "substantiated" it or what the basis of the "substantiation" was). I fought this NCOER with everything I could muster, to the point they had to rewrite it four separate times just to get it to be "administratively correct". When it finally went to Human Resources Command (HRC) it was kicked back because there were no counseling dates listed (I was never counseled, neither an initial, quarterly, or otherwise). I waited for it to come back to me with fake counseling dates (considering I was never counseled they would have to manufacture the dates). However, it never did make it back to me. It is now PERMANENTLY FILED in my Army Military Human Resource Record (AMHRR). If you know anything about documents that are filed in your AMHRR, you should know you cannot appeal them based on administrative errors because once they make it past HRC they are considered to be "administratively correct". Yet there it sits, with a Rater signature date of 30NOV18 while my senior rater signature and my signature are both from August. The regulation on NCOERs CLEARLY states that the rated SM's signature can NOT be dated before the Rater or Senior Rater's signature, for obvious reasons. My signature verifies the administrative data. How the fuck this made it past HRC I have no idea.

Then on July 31st (three days AFTER my BDE CDR's Change of Command Ceremony) I received a BDE LOR from my OUTGOING BDE CDR for "Sexual Assault". I submitted a lengthy rebuttal with 14 character reference statements including four from my previous two commander's and first sergeants.

Then four months after the initial GOMOR, in OCT2018 they redid the entire GOMOR (reworded it and corrected factual errors) which I then submitted a brand new rebuttal for.

That same month my current Co CDR and 1SG (who previously had been supportive and stated they had not and were not submitting chapter paperwork) started the involuntary separation process. My notification was my 1SG saying, "make sure you get your chapter appointments done". No assigned escort, no 4856, no guidance, no nothing. Just "get your appointments done". At some point the Commander and 1SG pulled me into her (my Commander's office) and told me they were chaptering me. When I respectively and tactfully asked, "Why?" (What I really wanted to say is, "Are you fucking kidding me? not less than six weeks ago you told me you weren't doing this!!") my Commander's response was simply, "Because if we don't the Battalion will". Thanks Ma'am.

Fast forward to December, I have done everything that I am aware needs to be done for the pre-separation process (Behavioral Health Counseling, Physical, Finance Counseling, Ed Center Counseling, and the Congress Mandated Transition Assistance Program (TAP) courses). I had not yet received the TAP completion memo because I had "due outs". Namely, a budget worksheet and Resume... which I had not submitted because I was actually utilizing TAP the way I thought it was meant to be utilized... preparing myself for transition, which meant I wanted to keep my budget and Resume as a living document until absolutely necessary to turn-in. Clearly, my Command only saw it as a check the block process. I will explain...

I started leave on 9DEC18. Prior to leave my 1SG, CDR, and I were on perfect terms. I worked hard, did everything they asked, and held no ill-will towards them despite what I felt was a betrayal of trust and their lack of support by not standing up for me in front of the Battalion or Brigade CDR's and CSM's.

on 12DEC18 I received a phone call from both my Commander (she had never before called me since taking command in JUL18) and my First Sergeant asking for a TAP completion memo (this was actually the first time I realized there even was such a document... maybe if I had been properly counseled or received ANY kind of formal guidance... I WOULD have known.. but hey, stop with the common sense right?). I responded I would get with my TAP counselor to find out what I needed to do to obtain the memo. Later that day my First Sergeant called e again and "asked" (words are important, you will see why) if I could come in the following morning to speak with the Commander. Keep in mind I had started leave three days earlier and was in no way obligated to go into work unless formally recalled (either verbally or in writing) by my Company Commander. I said "sure, no problem. Do you want me to be in uniform?". He said no just come in civvies. In the ensuing Field Grade Article 15 (oh yes, just wait for it), he claims he told me to be at the company at 0900.... I wont even argue that he MAY have said that, but what I remember was "first thing in the morning". Work call is at 0930. I arrived at approx 0937. Neither the 1SG or the Commander were at the office. I stayed until the 1SG showed up around lunch at 1130, at which point he told me he needed me there at 0900, and the Commander would be "in meetings the rest of the day" so she would just talk to me when I returned from leave. I thought it odd at the time that he had wanted me there at 9, cuz its not what I recalled, but I shrugged it off and continued my leave.

I returned from leave on 26DEC18, and was immediately given a flag notification on a DA 4856 for impending adverse action. The following day I was given my initial read of a Field Grade Article 15 for "Disobeying a Lawful Order from a Noncommissioned Officer". My 1SG had written a sworn statement that he told me to be at the company at 0900 and that he did not see me until he returned from to the company around 1130 (after his apparent 0915 meeting). By the way the date of the flag was 12DEC18... the same day they called me. They had already flagged me before I even showed up to the Company. I suspect they were calling me in to give me the flag notification, but who knows.

My Battalion Commander knew I was on authorized leave. She knew that my Company Commander had not formally recalled me from leave. She gave it to me anyways. In that same Article 15 they accused me of Failure to Report on 6 separate occasions because I had been a "No-Show" at 6 voluntary TAP workshops (none of which were necessary to complete the TAP program). Four of those workshops were all on the same day but if you don't acknowledge that fact it seems much worse. The other two I had legitimate alibis, and I was at my place of duty when I was not at the workshops. I wanted very badly to request a court-martial. I felt betrayed, targeted, abused, unjustly punished... you name it I felt it. My assigned Trial Defense Service (TDS) lawyer however, said if I requested a Court Martial, not only would I "100% be convicted" but that they would also throw the sexual assault allegations at me and I would be facing a Dishonorable Discharge, demotion to E-1, jail time,a federal conviction, and registration on a sex offender list.

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Why would I risk that? Especially considering I lost pretty much every "battle" thus far. So I accepted the Article 15. Surprisingly, they did not demote me to the rank of SGT (which I honestly believe is because they did not want me to be able to RCP and receive an honorable discharge entitled to separation pay) but they did give me 45 days extra duty.

They amended the chapter paperwork to include the Article 15.

My Company Commander recommended an Other Than Honorable (OTH) discharge. Under an OTH discharge a Soldier is entitled to ZERO Veterans Affairs (VA) benefits.
No disability benefits, VA Home Loans, healthcare, GI Bill, nothing... again I feel like I've been betrayed.

I come down on Qualitative Management Program (QMP) notification early February. My battalion commander says "we fully support you". If you know the meme from Futurama where Fry has an extremely skeptical look on his face with the caption "not sure if sarcasm or serious"... that was me x 1000.

The QMP board is set to convene 29MAY2019. From what I have been able to find through my limited research, a QMP separation is an automatic Honorable Discharge with potential entitlement to separation pay. An involuntary separation under 14-12c is currently getting me a General Discharge (because I waived my right to a separation board in order to upgrade it from OTH) and zero entitlement to separation pay.

My 1SG has been all over me every day since the waiver was approved, initially telling me "they want you gone before the four day" which is the 16th-19th of March. I had a sleep study, for an expected sleep apnea diagnosis, scheduled for the 21st... doesn't matter... I am wanted out as quickly as possible. My 1SG has eluded that it is my BDE CSM who wants me gone. Today he stated that if there was ANY chance I was unable to clear and board my flight on the 19th that he needed to know IMMEDIATELY... because if I am not gone by the 19th it would be "very bad".

Other weird occurrences with my 1SG are.... the day before my article 15 I told him I was thinking about asking the Battalion Commander to just reduce me in rank and let me hit my Retention Control Point (RCP), if her ultimate goal was to chapter me. my 1SG said not to do that because the Commander and Himself have an opportunity to speak to my performance (leading me to believe they were going to stand up for me.) AFTER the Article 15 he pulls me aside and tells me that both the Commander and himself recommended I be reduced in rank, because "an E-6 disobeying an E-8 is a pretty serious thing". WTF?... why tell me not to request to be reduced just to tell them to reduce me... he said the BN CSM is the one that recommended I retain my rank an put me on 6 months probation instead. About a month later it gets even weirder when he sits me down and tells me "you know I didn't tell you this but the Commander and I spoke very highly of you to the BC and CSM during the Article 15. We talked about how good your performance was and how you did everything that was asked". I wanted to scream at him.

And the final weird occurrence is him volunteering to be a reference for my upcoming SF-86 submission. I told him about a job offer I have, that is pending the DEROG on my clearance being cleared up. At this point I don't know if its paranoia or my instincts but I am actually worried he is saying this just so when the interviewer talks to him he can throw me under the bus.... again.

That's my story.

Oh, one last thing, I spoke to my Commander mid February and asked her if she would be willing to support me retaining my clearance, because I had not been proven guilty of ANYTHING, I am NO threat to compromising National Security Information, and my clearance is the ONLY thing I can rely on to maintain any type of standard of living once I am chaptered. She agreed to support me. one week later she retracted that statement, and when I asked if it was because legal advised her not to support me, she said yes.

There is one last point I will leave out of this story, because should certain people read it, I have no doubt that there would almost certainly be retaliation, even though the statement in itself is factual and not malicious in nature.

Ok, THAT is my story.