Posted on Jun 9, 2015
CW2 Detachment Commander
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I recently received a Custody Evaluation that implied that my duty as a member of the Army Reserve caused me to be away too often. Yes, compared to some civilians, a Service Member does get called away from home. What about pilots, district managers, regional sales staff? Don't they spend time away from their family? Shouldn't the concern be a balance of the quality of interaction as much as the quantity? Should a Service Member be automatically given a mark against their ability to care for their child (ren) simply because they serve their country? What are your thought?
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Responses: 26
MAJ James Woods
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I think many of the courts, lawyers and judges have dealt with the military that they tend to be a little bias these days. But with deployments tamping down hopefully they begin to be more objective for military parents (moms and dads). My divorce lawyer even admitted the State love the ease of military related cases when it comes to child support and custody battles. The non military parent seems to get the benefit unless they have a criminal record.
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SFC Regional Field Technician
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They shouldn't, but that's ammunition for the other side. Don't lie, you'd do the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot.
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CW2 Detachment Commander
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I take honor and integrity much more serious and not bound to only my military career. A child needs both parents more than just every other weekend if they are both fit.
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LTC Instructor
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Sounds like ex-wife anger, no offense intended. Hope all goes well for you. You have talked to a JAG, I hope.
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CPT Pedro Meza
CPT Pedro Meza
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Been there and have fought the ex en court, but the reality as the kids get older they will seek you out. The secrete is to fight in the hearts of the kids, now days it is easier thanks to cell phones and the internet. Best to accept defeat in court and loose that battle and not the kids.
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SGT Scott Bell
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no
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SGT Scott Bell
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NO
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SPC David Hannaman
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My wife sat on a custody jury. The case had the twist that the mother was in the military and the father was seeking custody. The father won because he demonstrated that during the separation he was the primary care giver.

That was the exception though, not the rule. Here in Texas 90% of the time custody goes to the mother, the other 10% being due to mitigating circumstances such as incarceration, chemical dependency, etc. It's an uphill, expensive battle for a father, the unfortunate public perception is that fathers are optional, just "sources of child support".

My opinion is that the emotional development of children is highly dependent on having both male and female role models, and that society (especially young men) are paying the price of taking the male role model so lightly.
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CSM Information Operations Planner
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If only the court would accept a family care plan.
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CPT Retired
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I'm pretty sure that the Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act speaks directly to this. You can't be penalized for serving in the military and you have some legal protections as a service member under the Act. Get a good lawyer. I'd tell you that whether you were in the military or not. Custody is one of those things you can't skimp on.
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SGT Team Leader
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HR 4469 Amendment to the service member civil relief act, if they even have the fact that you being a soldier affects your ability to father your children take it to a higher court. In no way should a service member be penalized for providing for their family and country.
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CW2 Detachment Commander
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Thank you. Can you provide more information on this. When I search it says the bill was introduced in 2010 but not enacted. Can you clarify?
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PO3 Sherry Thornburg
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Don't know your situation, but as a single parent after divorce, you would have to have a guardian for your kids on file should you be called up. Some judges know this and know if you are called up you may be away for a lot more than a weekend a month. So your ability to parent could be hindered or severely reduced due to the needs of the service. That makes it hard for some judges to consider giving full custody to a service member. My husband was given very liberal visitation rights anytime he was in state and able to visit, but no way he was going to get full custody from the State of California as a single sailor. Yeah, the cards are stacked against you.
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