Posted on Jul 16, 2015
Soldiers wife leaves him for another man. Soldier has to pay her 2/3 of his housing allowance!!!
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So I have had close to ten Soldiers of mine throughout my career that have had their wives leave them. Sometimes for other men, sometimes during deployment and sometimes for no reason. What I dont understand is if she leaves him for another guy, why does JAG make him pay her 2/3 of his housing allowance. She had a home, she chose to leave. Now this Soldier is forced to give upwards of 800 dollars to her. How does he afford to pay his current rent. I have taken my Soldier to JAG to figure this out and only get the "thats the regulation" answer. Even if the Soldier and their Spouse mutually agree to split why does the Army decide on a mandatory minimum? Maybe she makes more money and doesn't need it. Sorry if I offended anyone with the "she" being the Spouse. I just didnt want to write she/he everytime.
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Paralegal NCO
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Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 18
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That is ridiculous! If he has actually proof of infidelity, take her to a civilian attorney and file for divorce. She stepped out, so no waiting period is necessary. And she has no ground to ask for support.
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SSG Melvin Nulph
Infidelity, adultery is no longer a reason for a divorce in some states. Something to think about, the law isn't always on your side in every situation, sad but true. Some even want you to wait 3 up to 6 months to file? Why, I have no clue. One judge asked what if he says I had to go through 6 months of marige councilling first, he granted it when I said I'll see him by morning on murder charges I don't play that and no one is going to play me with it.
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SSG (Join to see)
Ssg Melvin Nulph check out the Facebook page disgruntled veterans. Those guys are awesome and you would fit right in.
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PO1 Shahida Marmol
I can not stand women who try to take the guy for all he's worth. When I divorced i wanted nothing from him except physical custody of my children, but we'd still do joint custody. I needed out, I didn't need his things. I could understand if the woman followed the man his whole career putting her life/career on hold each time he PCSs but still at the end of the day I would have worked and saved money to be able to take care of myself if we split up.
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PO1 Shahida Marmol
WO1 Tim Vaclav - I think I'm like this because I've been taking care of myself since 15. I don't mind being part of a team, but I refuse to be dead weight. How can that man provide for my kids and be an effective father, if I run him through the mud and take everything he has, because I'm too lazy to work? It's not going to happen and it sets the wrong impression to my children.
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SSG Johnson, I will never know why JAG always defaults for the civilian. It might be time to get advice from a civilian lawyer. JAG will always protect the service first. The soldier needs to find a "friend" in JAG that will give him the straight skinny. Or time to find a civilian lawyer that might be willing to give advice pro bono. Or possibly LTC John G Shaw, MBA, JD. might be able to set you on the right track. COL Shaw is on RP and from what I have observed, he has his act together. Good luck. De Oppresso Liber. Tom
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COLOR Williams is correct. I had to handle three diffuclt cases dealing with "Family Separation" pay as outlined in AR 608-99. There is a formula that dictates the amount of money a Soldier is required to provide his/her "Dependents". Once a divorce is finalized and there is no civil court order or something, the funds stop. Remember, every case is unqiue, so there are multiple factors that force the Army and Soldier's decisions. Best advice I could give to "ALL" parties is collect the evidence that supports your case and go to civilian court. Once that is done, the AR doesn't apply. Hope this information helps she'd a little light on this. I was truly amazed by all this when hit with my first case.
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This is a dinosaur result of our sexist society. Of course, feminazis will cry 'she deserves it', rather than calling for an equal share, which is how it should be (and how real feminists would want it.)
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SN Greg Wright
SGT Kristin Wiley - There are exceptions to everything in life, if you look hard enough. But let me ask: when have you ever heard of this happening to a male spouse? I think the stats will show that it's overwhelmingly female spouses that benefit from this.
And a personal attack on me because you don't like my word choice hardly facilitates civil conversation. Check the Major's response below for a much better example.
And a personal attack on me because you don't like my word choice hardly facilitates civil conversation. Check the Major's response below for a much better example.
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Cpl (Join to see)
The Coming Collapse of the Middle Class with Elizabeth Warren
Distinguished law scholar Elizabeth Warren teaches contract law, bankruptcy, and commercial law at Harvard Law School. She is an outspoken critic of America'...
The policy is dinosaur, but it has nothing to do with sexism. Most of the policies are due for review, because they were written when we had single income families. It wasn't sexism, it was societal norm. Economics forced two family incomes. I'm not a fan of elizabeth warren, but she did a pretty thorough study regarding economic consumption when the politicians were debating bankruptcy reform. All of her early assumptions were incorrect, but her research was enough to give here a better understanding.
Long video but worth it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akVL7QY0S8A
Long video but worth it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akVL7QY0S8A
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SN Greg Wright
You were the one who first used the term sexist. I don't know the origin of the law, but there was a time when women couldn't serve in the armed forces and when they were completely dependent on men for an income. If giving women equal rights is sexist, then yes we are a sexist society. As I said initially, the reason we see this mostly with female spouses, is because men make up 86% of our armed forces. I don't agree with this law at all, but to claim the law as feminist is completely inaccurate. In retrospect, if a male soldier left his wife and his children, should he still not be required to provide for at least his children's welfare? From the Army's perspective, this woman is still a military dependent and the military takes care of their own. The Army isn't responsible for sorting out their domestic issues, and there have been countless times when I've seen the soldier take his wife back after this type of infidelity.
You were the one who first used the term sexist. I don't know the origin of the law, but there was a time when women couldn't serve in the armed forces and when they were completely dependent on men for an income. If giving women equal rights is sexist, then yes we are a sexist society. As I said initially, the reason we see this mostly with female spouses, is because men make up 86% of our armed forces. I don't agree with this law at all, but to claim the law as feminist is completely inaccurate. In retrospect, if a male soldier left his wife and his children, should he still not be required to provide for at least his children's welfare? From the Army's perspective, this woman is still a military dependent and the military takes care of their own. The Army isn't responsible for sorting out their domestic issues, and there have been countless times when I've seen the soldier take his wife back after this type of infidelity.
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What I am learning the hard way is how this situation can turn what you believe in firmly on its ear. My (soon-to-be-ex) wife and I were a team for 16 years. We worked together through everything. It wasn't "fair", but it was working for us... until it wasn't.
But you can't just throw away years of teamwork and expect each to be autonomous right away, especially when there are children involved.
The solution we hit on, painful as it has been, is to continue to live together throughout the divorce process. It is a matter of practicality. If we had both gone our own way when she filed, we would have very possibly both sunk financially. She under the burden of the debts she had run up, me on the amount of support I would have had to provide in order for the kids to be looked after properly when she had them.
At the end of the day, we should work out something that will work for both of us. If we couldn't, the only one it would hurt is the children. Part of me wants to stick it to her - it was her choice to leave after all - but we have been a team this long, and we always will be when it comes to the kids.
But you can't just throw away years of teamwork and expect each to be autonomous right away, especially when there are children involved.
The solution we hit on, painful as it has been, is to continue to live together throughout the divorce process. It is a matter of practicality. If we had both gone our own way when she filed, we would have very possibly both sunk financially. She under the burden of the debts she had run up, me on the amount of support I would have had to provide in order for the kids to be looked after properly when she had them.
At the end of the day, we should work out something that will work for both of us. If we couldn't, the only one it would hurt is the children. Part of me wants to stick it to her - it was her choice to leave after all - but we have been a team this long, and we always will be when it comes to the kids.
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JAG is great and all but getting a lawyer in the long run will work out better.
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Spousal initiated divorce of a service member should be considered forfeiture of military benefits. They chose to leave, therefore they chose to give up those benefits. Period.
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Well there is no point to state the regulation answer for that is already known. I think the Army is playing CYA. I have had the same experience with my own Soldiers. What makes it easier on the SM is if there is family housing and the SM can stay somewhere else. If they are renting or making payments on a home, and she does not wish to stay there, The SM will have to come up with that money. If the SM is paying for his or her car payment, the SM will still have to come up with that money. It is a process that has the potential to get very ugly.
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I don't agree, or condone, but I believe that is law based on the AR...
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I don't receive my retirement for 12yrs. The state of Florida charged me 1200.00 dollars a month child support. I can't find a job that pays what the military payed me. My skills are useless.
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