They say it could be worse?! Let's examine that.

It could be worse. What an answer?!

So when you loose your mom they say well you still have your dad

Then you say well my dad is a drugged out untreated PTSD Vietnam Combat Veteran of 40 years as the VA seeemed to dissapear for returning Vietnam Veterans

So they say well at least you are still alive.

I say ok yes I am alive.

But what about PTSD and the Physical Assault in service by the E9 That never was treated and none of the LPOs that I think knew it happened who were on the other side of the bulkead did nothing when I walked out of that little space on the ship with my head down 22 years old

They say you are still alive.

I say yes PTSD does not care about that.

20 years of near homelessness homelessness joblessness not trusting depression all add up and up in denial never talking about serving ever to anyone with any confidence or any happiness.

They say well at least you did not die.

I say well ok maybe I did not die and I agree I did not die but what about the self harm and suicide hospital intake and the drinking just to black out

Well at least you have a family or a brother and sister.

I say yes I do but I was the oldest child and I was also untreated from the multiple personel in service threats on me from other service members from bullying, knife to throat, talk of a gun privately owned by another sailor that I should be concerned when I am in public alone off the ship, sexual perversion and harrasment and proposition by some other young sailor who was well into guys that freaked you out, then the assault from the e9 to put a nice cherry on top of that whole mountain of crap that you ate all while being worked like damn mule when you thought you joined an elite family but are called a reservist first and never a navy sailor worthy of respect all before 22 years old. So basically you sister and brother you did not want to burden with these insane dealings as you fried and became belligerant and changed and grew distant from your own family mom brother and sister year by year further and further a decade passes and you also get TBI from street fights and boxing rings from the anger you can not stop fighting and the general threat that you feeel from other males in public...yes basically you became a rabid dog that was put in a dog fight on a navy ship for far to long as some kind of game

You try to join the ARMY out of the NAVY after the assault and low and behold the MEPS processing DQs Fail you PSYCH Left Open SPINE Muscoskeletal and allow you to return back to the NAVY with no treatment never ever and stay on the same ship for another 6 months around the same guys you tried to leave and the same hazardous duties that scared the crap out you and broke you

There must not of been enough doctors