We have all had a subordinate that needed to go. What are some Rating Bullets you have used that were both funny and sad but true?

Our Platoon Leader was extremely challenged so my buddy who was Platoon Sergeant had a Senior Rater comment that basically said, "Effectively led the platoon despite having the worst Platoon Leader in the U.S. Army"

Has all the attributes of a football bat...

Although he is ranked 5 of 5, he would have the same view if there were 30.

There were others when I was rattling around Millington, but I always remembered this one.

Can always be counted on for exceeding the standard..... but only in Body-Fat!

Not funny at all, but pretty damn real.
In my Navy Reserve unit, I had a black female SK1. She often failed to show up for drill, and failed to show up for the Chief's exam, not once, but twice. Her work was acceptable when she did show up, but the second time she missed the exam, I pulled her recommendation for Chief.
She was pissed, of course. Was going to charge me with racism, sexual harassment, the usual. I took her aside (with my SKC present) and explained to her that she was fortunate this was the Reserves and not Active Duty. Had it been the latter, the FIRST time she failed to take the exam, she wouldn't have had to worry about the recommendation because, being subject to the UCMJ, she would have automatically been busted to SK2.
That was the last of it. She never showed up to drill again while I was with that unit, and I transferred to another unit later that year.

My college roommate. I went to Ft Riley and he went to Ft Lewis. He got an OER where the Senior Rater block was 2 words: "Eliminate Expeditiously"

Worst I ever wrote for a SRA/E-4 was. Does mediocre work even while supervised and sometimes follows directions on his own.

Action oriented, however produces minimal results for energy expended.

Didn't use these but have heard these as jokes:
"Out of all the Sailors I know, Seaman X is certainly one of them"
"Ranked 7 out of 6 junior officers at this command"
"Primary duty: Ne'r do well"
Also recall Cary Grant made a notation on an Army Nurse in the film "Operation Petticoat": "Possible enemy agent?" LOL

Albeit dated, I’ve heard “promote with rhesus monkey” has been used.

I wrote a NCOER for my SSG just a few weeks ago that said " Works well under constant supervision, constantly reminded to follow training task for the day"

Greatest contribution to the Army is to retire. Just kidding I thought of it one day and always wanted to use it, did do it as a joke once, it was pretty funny.

I don't know but I think your going about this in the wrong way, I have had my share of Soldiers that didn't need to be in the Army, but I never took the stand that they needed to go. What I did do was take them some place away from the Unit and sit down and just talk to them to see were their head was and what was going on exactly. Getting a Chapter 13 out of the Military doesn't just go away. Being an NCO is a tuff job and part of that training is to train Solders and Lead them; not throwing them under the bus. I've seen First Sergeants that shouldn't have been First Sergeants. Get to know your Soldiers and understand them. I would never support and NCO is willing to walk away from a Soldier or set them up for failure. Sorry I couldn't help you.

Sergeant Pritchett

I didn't write this but I did see a bullet on an E-6 written by his rater. It said, and I quote, " 1SG asked me to send this soldier to the Audie Murphy board. I wouldn't send him to the PX." With that said, this guy is probably a CSM somewhere today, LOL. Yeah, he was 8 the F**k up.

“Lt Smith is so tactically inept his men only follow him out of sheer curiosity.” Or one I really saw from a senior rated for Lt that was being offered a chapter 10. “This officer has no integrity.”

Actually read this on a Seaman Recruit's eval form. 1st paragraph:

"An enigma."

And that was the nicest thing that would be said!

Deployed to and from the National Training Center with a minimal loss of equipment and injury to personnel.

SSG Roger Ayscue Am I repeating? “”SGT Xxxxxx leads as the senior member of the rear rank.””

This clown and his close associate, had been in a National Guard unit forever when I transferred in as an E-8, 1SG.

Underaged for the Korean call-up, he remained in the “”Guards”” as long as he could.

During my first AT with the Guard at the old Ft Irwin; they stuffed sand in my brass whistle! No sweat GI, I had a spare!

When I departed for a 1SG’s call, the cohort was busy being ‘Nice guys’ and having a company BBQ with slush fund $ at our AO near the Rock Pile. .

Upon my return, they had been busy BBQ’ing and giving a steak to anyone in who presented a paper plate.

I dint get no steak and they dint either, all of the company slush fund steaks had been given away!

But they were nice guys. “Old ‘Guards’, style”.

For y’all youngsters, ‘GUARDS’ was the usual descriptive adjective when referring to the Army National Guard during the late 1940s and 1950s.

“Should be brought up on charges for impersonating a non-commissioned Officer in the United States Army”

This individual is not a Leader, not a Soldier, just a target.