We have all had a subordinate that needed to go. What are some Rating Bullets you have used that were both funny and sad but true?

I actually put this on an OER: “This officer is aware of standards of grooming and deportment.”

While I have never used any of these I can put faces and names with people both while I was in the Navy and afterwards as a federal sector manager. The list comes from the USS Topeka Reunion sites humor section. It was my first ship and in the beginning I may have deserved a few myself!

The British Military writes officer fitness reports. The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
I would not breed from this Officer.
This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
Technically sound, but socially impossible.
This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

Well, all I can say is I hope that if you write some NCOER bullets like "The phrase mercy killing comes to mind," I hope you have the counselings on record to back them up.

I have seen the Blue Falcon certificates (BF)..for exemplary teamwork

Pushes on doors plainly marked pull. Maximum efficiency results in minimal results.

1. S/M is extremely well versed in the art of evasion when he is looked for.
2. S/M is the most effective excuse maker I have ever seen in the army. He should run for Congress.
3. S/M is a true master at becoming hurt or injured by during most if not all Unit run's and Road March's.
4. S/M Has the innate ability to lose paperwork.
5. S/M is the fastest at putting passes for long weekends, And leave forms for block leave date's.
6. (My favorite) S/M is most effective at consuming other S/M's air.
Yes I have used them all, And had my ass ripped for it.
You can not be honest about some people.

I was on a promotion board years ago and remember what a senior rater wrote about a captain: "I had very limited expectations of this officer and he did not disappoint me!"

I was on a promotion board years ago and a senior rater wrote: "I had very limited expectations of this officer and he did not disappoint me!" That is the one I most remember from my 35+ year career!

When I was a SSGT and NCOIC of a section, I wrote of one subordinate:
“A1C ______’s Major accomplishment this period is keeping his single brain cell from dying due to loneliness.”

Always use a bullet such as; continuation of this behavior could in future disciplinary action result in your administrative discharge.