Posted on Jun 29, 2016
What are some entertaining safety briefings you have had?
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I have a safety briefing tomorrow during a flight meeting that we are looking to make "fun"... but professional. I could use some help with one liner type things said at safety briefings (i.e. "If you're gonna tap it, wrap it...") gimme what you got!
Humor
Safety
Off Duty
Command
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 91
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SPC David Schuler
Two questions.
Does the 553rd MP's AO still include 1st Brigade?
Do they still drive around checking for ambushes before they answer a call?
Does the 553rd MP's AO still include 1st Brigade?
Do they still drive around checking for ambushes before they answer a call?
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While at FT. Knox:
"If you have sex this weekend, wear a rubber. If she's from Kentucky, wear two."
"If you have sex this weekend, wear a rubber. If she's from Kentucky, wear two."
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CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
MAJ (Join to see) Louisville, 1953/54 era. While watching a movie with the fellows in Louisville, I arranged to meet a female native at the Greyhound Station entrance @ ------- hours, Saturday nite. That Saturday, as I entered the bus station, I saw a non-appealing, disheveled, agitated female, obviously awaiting someone. I continued on course to the 'white only', men's room and soon caught the next bus to Knox. The 'lady', somehow was able to call the orderly room and read the CQ the riot act for having been stood up!
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Sorry I missed this originally, but...
Mid 80's from an Independent Duty Corpsman (Nam FMF vet) before the sub crew went on shore leave:
"You can see me before you go ashore..." (holds up a condom)
"or you can see me after you get back." (holds up a 50 cc syringe with a large gauge needle).
Mid 80's from an Independent Duty Corpsman (Nam FMF vet) before the sub crew went on shore leave:
"You can see me before you go ashore..." (holds up a condom)
"or you can see me after you get back." (holds up a 50 cc syringe with a large gauge needle).
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This was every Safety Brief before pass
Company Gunny - Alright boys, if we drink we what?
Company - get fucked up! Beer before liquor! Don't pass out first!
CG - Drink in moderation, and if we are going to have sex we do what?
C - Anal!
CG - Practice Safe sex!
Company Gunny - Alright boys, if we drink we what?
Company - get fucked up! Beer before liquor! Don't pass out first!
CG - Drink in moderation, and if we are going to have sex we do what?
C - Anal!
CG - Practice Safe sex!
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MCPO (Join to see)
Wait... if this is Shrodinger's Sex Question, then, before you check or she hollers, you are effectively in BOTH places? Coooool!
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Two memorable items relating to safety briefs:
1. It was standard to remind all soldiers at Ft. Bliss not to go to Ciudad Juarez during the Friday/holiday/leave safety briefs. I had a 1SG who habitually reminded us that should we find ourselves in a car bound for the border, that we were to "tuck and roll" when we jumped from said--presumably moving--car.
2. I had another 1SG who made a certain Private do the weekly safety briefs on his behalf while doing his spot-on imitation of Christopher Walken.
1. It was standard to remind all soldiers at Ft. Bliss not to go to Ciudad Juarez during the Friday/holiday/leave safety briefs. I had a 1SG who habitually reminded us that should we find ourselves in a car bound for the border, that we were to "tuck and roll" when we jumped from said--presumably moving--car.
2. I had another 1SG who made a certain Private do the weekly safety briefs on his behalf while doing his spot-on imitation of Christopher Walken.
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If you drink, don't drive. If you drive, don't drink. If you do, don't spill any.
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"Don't drink and stupid. Don't kick your dogs, your kids or your wife. Whatever happens this weekend, you better not be falling out of my run come Monday..."
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This one i use to remind my plt not to ruin the reputation they built for us, have to be careful about whose around though because is is not pc. Im sure some people here will freak out as well, but it makes not reference about sexuality. "You can build a thousand bridges and not be called a bridge builder, but you suck one dick and you're a cocktail sucker for life."
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TSgt David Holman
I have some weight, but I don't think I have that much, mixed crowd would probably object.. however, I do like it
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