What are some healthier ways to eat besides salads?

Reducing your portions, and increasing water intake. It really works. The water makes you feel full, and you won't eat as much. Continue regular exercises also.

As a side note, if I quit eating everything that is said will kill me, and drinking everything that is said will kill me, and doing everything that is said will kill me I will die within 30 days or either thirst, starvation, or boredom.

Honestly it depends on what your body needs and what your goals are. Some people respond well to a low carb diet, while others do better with smaller portions and low calorie counts. If you just want to eat healthier overall then eating fruits and vegetables, grilled lean meats, less pork and fatty meats such as lamb. Avocado is super healthy. Whole grain everything if possible. Cut out as much sugar as possible, even in your foods. So use fresh vegetables instead of canned vegetables, etc. The less processed stuff you eat, the better odds you're getting something healthy. If you have an iPhone there's an app called RecipeBook. It's $0.99. But it allow you to upload recipes automatically, and has a bunch loaded already, so it helps when cooking fresh. Good luck!