Posted on Jan 23, 2014
SSG Cannon Crew Member
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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SSgt Tony Lamb
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Edited 10 mo ago
My 26 year old cousin has wandered a lot in life, and his argument since high school has been “can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job.”

So, one Thanksgiving dinner, it was mentioned that he could join the military (in my extended family, replete with a plethora of cousins, I’m the only one that joined.) The table became uncomfortably quiet at that suggestion, and he said “No way! I support my military, but I’m not getting shot at.”

“But you support someone else doing it, though,” I said. “You support someone else getting shot at or blown up in the defense of your Constitution and your freedoms and your liberties, but you’re unwilling to secure those things for yourself, is that it?”

I don’t get invited to many Thanksgiving dinners anymore.
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SGT Douglas Byrd
SGT Douglas Byrd
1 y
I did 10 years in the Army, and was told I never had a real job.
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SSgt Brandt Lancaster
SSgt Brandt Lancaster
1 y
Anyone who has served in the military can testify that it isnt for everyone. Not everyone has the intestinal fortitude or dicipline needed to serve our country and defend the rights we all enjoy.
In all honesty I would rather people like your cousin who openly support the military but do not join, leaving openings to people who are going to be productive rather than counter-productive and more of a hinderance because they really dont want to be there but dud it because they felt obligated. I recall a few individuals while serving in the Marine Corps that just didnt want to be there and loligagged about. Because of these individuals attitudes every other Marine in the unit had to work twice as hard to pick up their slack. This is exactly what would happen if your cousin or any other person joined the military because they felt obligated.
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SSgt Tony Lamb
SSgt Tony Lamb
1 y
SSgt Brandt Lancaster - You’re right, Staff Sergeant Lancaster. Military service is not for everyone. And it isn’t always a lack of intestinal fortitude or discipline; it’s just not everyone’s cup of tea. We’ve all served beside people that found out too late that the lifestyle was not what they might have expected, and failed to adapt. Likewise, I challenge the notion that military service alone will turn someone around, that the DIs and boot camp will straighten someone out, or that service in general will make them grow up, start acting right, or become a better person.

I don’t know how my cousin would have fared in the military. He might have been Audie Murphy incarnate, or Private Pyle. He has done well as he’s gotten older, even without service. But I was ate up at his age, far too gung ho for my own good really, and his comment, even with the caveat of his support, just got under my skin.
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SMSgt Lawrence McCarter
SMSgt Lawrence McCarter
3 mo
SGT Douglas Byrd - Only people that don't have a clue would say anything like that, Little do they know also there are hundreds of different MOS assignments but also You are never totally off duty and can be called into work even on days off. Often it doesn't just stop at 8 hours but could be longer. That is a Full time job occupation for certain !
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MSgt Vehicle Operations Superintendent
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They would have joined, but they'd never make it through basic because if someone gets in their face and yells at them they'd knock them out...
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CPO John Magill
CPO John Magill
>1 y
Have heard that one a lot. But in reality. Soon as the DI board that bus on arrival. Every one of those tough guys are the first ones pissing themselves.
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SP5 Dave Forrest
SP5 Dave Forrest
2 y
Bone spurs that prevent service but not varsity tennis. At my enlistment induction physical they said my eyesight and hearing were too bad to qualify. I found the head doctor and told him a failure to join would break a 5 generation history of service. He "adjusted" some numbers, then during the physical at boot camp (Fort Ord January 1967) a doctor laughed and asked how I got in and when I told him he "adjusted" his test results too.
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SPC Sharra Schwartz
SPC Sharra Schwartz
1 mo
SP5 Dave Forrest That's actually a beautiful story. Lol. I always loved the Docs who would help you out for a good reason.
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SPC Sharra Schwartz
SPC Sharra Schwartz
1 mo
I've probably heard this more than any other excuse. Day 1: Drills enter the arrivals bus, and EVERY butthole puckers. But keep lying to your fragile-egoed self, pal.
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SFC Senior Drill Sergeant
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Edited 6 y ago
"I'm not the Army type. I cant deal with being ordered around. If I do join, I would try to start off as like a Sergeant or Officer or something so that I can be in control" - Lowe's Employee <br>
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SN Storekeeper
SN (Join to see)
>1 y
I was going to start off as an Admiral. But they were taking too long to put my Flotilla together so I just said "Heck with it" and went enlisted as an E-1. Now where are my Gummy Bears?
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PFC Mobile Gun System (Mgs) Gunner
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>1 y
I'm trying not to be slack jawed at what I just read LOL so he really thinks the military works like that
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SPC Allen Schott
SPC Allen Schott
>1 y
When I was inducted, I didn't know the difference between Officers and NCO's - didn't stop me from finishing my obligation. After using my GI bill to finish school, I am glad to have served and will gladly point aimless people to the military for a few years to get their act together.
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SPC Jodi Harbroe
SPC Jodi Harbroe
3 mo
HAHAHA! Nobody starts off as a sergeant but if you have a bachelors degree you can start as a lieutenant and still be yelled at! There are hundreds of jobs where you have almost no chance of being shot. Far too many of the millennial generation cannot accept being given orders and spend their time drifting or living off of their parents and their parents are clearly to blame. If you are an adult you should be working and contributing to our society.
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