Posted on Jan 23, 2014
SSG Cannon Crew Member
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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SSgt Tony Lamb
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My 26 year old cousin has wandered a lot in life, and his argument since high school has been “can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job.”

So, one Thanksgiving dinner, it was mentioned that he could join the military (in my extended family, replete with a plethora of cousins, I’m the only one that joined.) The table became uncomfortably quiet at that suggestion, and he said “No way! I support my military, but I’m not getting shot at.”

“Oh, you support someone else doing it, though,” I said. “You support someone else getting shot at or blown up in the defense of your Constitution and your freedoms and your liberties, but you’re unwilling to secure those things for yourself, is that it?”

I don’t get invited to many Thanksgiving dinners anymore.
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CPT Pedro Meza
CPT Pedro Meza
>1 y
Col Tom Lytle - I was told to get a hobby and grow up by the ARMY doctor that put me in for medical retirement. When I said "I WOULD PREFER TO BE A SUICIDE BOMBER FOR OUR SIDE", I am still required to see the psych.
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SFC Tony Bennett
SFC Tony Bennett
1 y
CPT Pedro Meza - Probably! LOL
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SPC David Lyons
SPC David Lyons
1 y
Way to be part of the solution SSgt Lamb. We got ur 6 ;)
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SFC Michael Krasowski
SFC Michael Krasowski
28 d
One of the best things I have ever done with my life, wouldn't trade it for anything!
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MSgt Vehicle Operations Superintendent
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They would have joined, but they'd never make it through basic because if someone gets in their face and yells at them they'd knock them out...
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SFC Tony Bennett
SFC Tony Bennett
1 y
CWO3 William Hanrahan - Worse yet the "keyboard warriors" on the internet....too rich! LOL
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Sgt William Margeson
Sgt William Margeson
1 y
or piss their trousers
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CPO John Magill
CPO John Magill
1 y
Have heard that one a lot. But in reality. Soon as the DI board that bus on arrival. Every one of those tough guys are the first ones pissing themselves.
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SP5 Dave Forrest
SP5 Dave Forrest
11 mo
Bone spurs that prevent service but not varsity tennis. At my enlistment induction physical they said my eyesight and hearing were too bad to qualify. I found the head doctor and told him a failure to join would break a 5 generation history of service. He "adjusted" some numbers, then during the physical at boot camp (Fort Ord January 1967) a doctor laughed and asked how I got in and when I told him he "adjusted" his test results too.
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SSG(P) Senior Drill Sergeant
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Edited >1 y ago
"I'm not the Army type. I cant deal with being ordered around. If I do join, I would try to start off as like a Sergeant or Officer or something so that I can be in control" - Lowe's Employee <br>
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SPC Interior Electrician
SPC (Join to see)
1 y
Me too, CPT Christensen.
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SN Storekeeper
SN (Join to see)
1 y
I was going to start off as an Admiral. But they were taking too long to put my Flotilla together so I just said "Heck with it" and went enlisted as an E-1. Now where are my Gummy Bears?
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PFC Infantryman
PFC (Join to see)
1 y
I'm trying not to be slack jawed at what I just read LOL so he really thinks the military works like that
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SPC Allen Schott
SPC Allen Schott
1 mo
When I was inducted, I didn't know the difference between Officers and NCO's - didn't stop me from finishing my obligation. After using my GI bill to finish school, I am glad to have served and will gladly point aimless people to the military for a few years to get their act together.
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