What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

"No I could never join the military. If I ever got deployed I would just shoot everyone"

there was this kid living out in the middle of nowhere in a shack with his mom and 5 other kids he said he couldn't leave home......I would have been the first on the bus lol

I use to get a lot of answers while on recruiting duty. I don't want to get shot at, I don't like taking orders, I can't leave my mom, she needs me.
I used to get into trouble because I would tell they guys "I don't want any pu$$ies in my Marine Corps". I did very well and average of 7.3 per month. The people who didn't want to take orders some work at fast food restaurants other in retail. The other guy who didn't want to leave his mother still lives with her. His mother doesn't want him there anymore because he's a loser, no real job no girlfriend

I usually go stone deaf as soon as the words "I would have joined the military, but..." comes out of somebody's soup cooler. I just figure they all have FTS,, Fractured Taint Syndrome

I had cancer as a kid. I works my ass off to become a devil dog. so if any one tells they would but.... I just walk way, I don't need to be their friend anyway

I'm don't really pay attention when people bring up why they never joined, but my cousin who was chaptered said this: "I'm smart and don't agree with a lot of the stupid things that they do in the army. My leadership didn't like that and it caused problems so I was pushed out"

"I would if I had to, like, if I was drafted, or the war came here".

"Made it half way through boot camp, it was way harder than I thought it was going to be so I left." And then my second favorite - "I'm too smart to join." - the 24 y/o making minimum wage with a bachlor's degree and thousands in student loans.

I was told the military is only for those who aren't smart enough for college. That person is still working fast food.

I would have joined but I can't handle being told what to do