What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

I wanted to join but I have astma.....

" I don't do well with discipline and structure"....
yet you have no problem living in your parents basement and making babies??
"I'm not gonna take orders from anyone"...
yet you'll let join a gang and go to prison based off the gang leaders orders??

I have several daughters about to graduate high school. Their mom and I have discussed the military with two of them. Daughter 1: "I don't think I could be in the military, because if somebody started yelling at me, I would just curl up on the floor in the fetal position." Me: "I yell at you more than they would." Daughter 2: "I don't think I could even get in the military because of all those physical tests you have to pass before you can get in." Me: "You don't have to pass any physical tests before you go in. But you will have to do a LOT of physical stuff in Basic." Daughter 2: "Noooo. I'm pretty sure you DO!"

I hurt my leg/arm/back/foot/butt being a four-letter jock in high school!

I would rather they make excuses than join and waste time and $$ just go go AWOL or get put out for Article 15's. I had my bad times in the Army, but it also gave me every opportunity to go to any and all schools I wanted. Where else can you get Paid to jump out of planes?

"I'm a pacifist, I don't want to fight anyone" ends up joining the national guard three years later to get free school and then get out

what I've heard a lot was "only people not smart enough to get into college join or those who are too poor join to get out of the hood".
and another one is "I don't like being told what to do" as they're being told what to do at their job now.

Heard from my wife's ex boyfriend...."I can't tell the difference between friend and foe." I'm thinking to myself, yeah go ahead and fire on your own guys. Freaking fruit loop...

When I got out I became a newspaper reporter .... the only ex-military guy in the newsroom. One other reporter in particular told me he thought he could best serve our country by being out "...in the civilian economy and helping to create wealth." In other words, he was serving his own bank account, like a lot of today's politicians

Had one person tell me he never thought about enlisting because he was intelligent enough to get a job as a civilian and the military is for people who can't hack it in the civilian world. Apparently stupid Americans serve their country