Posted on Jan 23, 2014
What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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Posted 12 y ago
Responses: 347
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The one excuse that made me step back was "I have better things to do with my life than you do, apparently..." said to me by a high school dropout who was working at McDonalds, who lived in his parent's house and got high as long as his paycheck allowed him to.
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1LT Andrew Johnson-Schmit
It especially makes me angry when it’s said by some chickenhawk who’s all gung-ho to send the military into another county. After you, m-f*cker.
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While on recruiting, I was working a job fair booth. A woman walked by and, without prompting, told me that she was married.
After she was out of earshot, I said "I'm offering you a job, lady, not dinner and drinks."
After she was out of earshot, I said "I'm offering you a job, lady, not dinner and drinks."
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<p>I find it hilarious when I tell people (particularly if it's a first date) that I am in the Army and the excuses start flying.... I don't care that you are not in the Military and especially am not going to ask why you did not make the same choice I did. I am sure there are tons of life decisions others have made that I would not choose, so why do I care?! Typically at this point is where I check out of the conversation.... </p><p><br></p><p>However, my favorite is the standard "I don't like people telling me what to do..."</p>
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CDR Kenneth Kaiser
Cpl (Join to see) - I find it interesting that the ones that don't like being told what to do are the ones who usually need someone to tell them what to do the most...
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SSgt Matt Singer
1LT (Join to see) - Even then, some customers give it a whirl. Best of luck to that customer when he really needs something.
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Sgt Packy Flickinger
1LT (Join to see) - true, but within limits. At a regular job I say stuff it and leave. I have. You also cant get thrown in the brig for telling your boss he/she's and ass amd doesnt know shit from shinola.
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SPC Sharra Schwartz
I just dealt with this a few days ago...yet again. A guy at least 10 years older than me was hitting on me, and when he found out I had been in the Army, spouted off with something about metal in his shoulder from playing football. I said something about football being tough on the body, kinda similar to the Army. He said he wouldn't know, because he only played one year, then looked really uncomfortable. I hear this so much, I wonder where the men are who are secure in themselves, and if I'll ever find that unicorn.
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"I don't like being ordered around"<br>As they work a 9-5 following orders of their managers everyday.......<br>
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SPC Floyd Shackelford
There is a little bit of a difference.
Mainly that you can quit a 9 to 5 on a whim without serious social repercussions, but quitting the military like that ensures the state's agents seek you out for severe punishment.
People are probably more scared of the lack of flexibility with their future, not being able to leave on a whim.
Mainly that you can quit a 9 to 5 on a whim without serious social repercussions, but quitting the military like that ensures the state's agents seek you out for severe punishment.
People are probably more scared of the lack of flexibility with their future, not being able to leave on a whim.
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Sgt Keegan D'Alfonso
I personally found I had more freedom in the military to determine how to handle tasks than I did in a 9-5. Commander's intent is a beautiful thing.
As far as being able to quit at anytime in a 9-5, that works both ways. You can be fired or laid off just as fast.
As far as being able to quit at anytime in a 9-5, that works both ways. You can be fired or laid off just as fast.
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SGT Paul Evenson
You will always have somebody ordering you around. Even if you own your own company somebody will tell you what todo. At least the people that order you around in the military are being ordered around by somebody else, but it always goes down hill.
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LTJG (Join to see)
If a person has a special problem with taking orders, it seems wise that he or she not join the military.
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The worst one that I've heard is " I would never pass the psych eval " seems like a twisted type of arrogance to me. The second worst is " I don't want to get brainwashed. " This really gets to me, the military does not brainwash, it merely shows you who you really are and what your mind and body are capable of. That's my rant for the day, keep safe out there..
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SSgt (Join to see)
Lol are you high? Half of the stuff we are made to do is for brainwashing purposes and to build camaraderie that you don't want to break ;)
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PO2 Malachi Greiner
Haha Petty Officer, your comment reads as though you have been brain washed but, I get what you are saying. However fine line between brain washing and indoctrination.
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SPC Joseph Cunningham
Technically, as Americans we're brainwashed on the daily. Patriotism itself is technically indoctrination if you think about it.
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SPC Sharra Schwartz
Psych eval. *rolls eyes* Heard that one before. I wanna ask them how many psych meds they're on and when was their last admittance to the psych ward. No, Joe Civilian, you're not at risk of becoming a comic book villain. You're not that cool.
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<p>Converstation:</p><p>me:"So are you still going to join the military like we talked about?"</p><p>them: "I can't now"</p><p>me: "Why not"</p><p>them: "Im in college"</p><p>me: "me too"</p><p>me" Do you get paid to go to school"</p><p>them: "no, but I have to work to pay my loans off for tuition"</p><p>me: "I get paid to go to school and I don't pay tuition"</p><p>me: "so, again you still going to join the military?"</p><p>them: "see I have this thing"</p><p>lol ......- but they drop out the next semester and never finish and still paying off their loans!</p>
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Me: So johnny you did real good on the ASVAB, are you ready to go to MEPS and pick your job?
Johnny: Here is the thing Sarge, Mom does not want me to join she is scared that I am going to die in Iraq. (this is 2006-2007). She said if I don't join she will buy me a motorcycle. I think I am going to pass.
Me: $%(@# %^&&$
Fast foward 6 months......
Me: So Johnny (while ordering a #2) Did mom ever get you that motorcycle? I don't see any outside.......
Johnny: No.....
Johnny: Here is the thing Sarge, Mom does not want me to join she is scared that I am going to die in Iraq. (this is 2006-2007). She said if I don't join she will buy me a motorcycle. I think I am going to pass.
Me: $%(@# %^&&$
Fast foward 6 months......
Me: So Johnny (while ordering a #2) Did mom ever get you that motorcycle? I don't see any outside.......
Johnny: No.....
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SPC Stuart Cox
Hey Sgt I think you may have gotten upset that you possibly didn't hit your recruiting quota for that month
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"I am such a great leader the recruiter told me not to join because I would be a threat to Generals, I might take their job away. Seriously what would they do if I took their jobs?"
I responded "retire and pray for our Army"
I responded "retire and pray for our Army"
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"I don't want to die"...I looked around my office at my peers and said I don't see any dead people here.
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SPC Paul Boris
That's actually a legitimate concern he has. And depending on your MOS you very well see your peers die.
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MSG Tim Waychoff
I once asked my whole station how many times they’d been killed since enlisting when someone said this.
It was a great conversation starter for the kid, as it helped him to realize that there are other jobs in the Army besides Infantry, that he could choose one, and that your job would indeed play a major role in your likelihood of being deployed, and what your experience would be while deployed if you were.
The kid did wind up enlisting as a cook, because he loved how happy it made his family when they were all together for holidays, and he helped his grandma cook the meals.
It was a great conversation starter for the kid, as it helped him to realize that there are other jobs in the Army besides Infantry, that he could choose one, and that your job would indeed play a major role in your likelihood of being deployed, and what your experience would be while deployed if you were.
The kid did wind up enlisting as a cook, because he loved how happy it made his family when they were all together for holidays, and he helped his grandma cook the meals.
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When I joined, I was "roped in" by the guys on my street (the buddy system). I fought tooth and nail to join at 17 trying to get my parents to sign off on the delayed entry program sheet. I was living on my own renting a room, working two jobs and in high school AND night school for cosmetology. I finally went in on my own signature at 18. Understand something - coming from a Catholic Italian family it didn't get any stricter so the military WAS A HUGE ESCAPE for me and I yearned for a more predictable structured discipline where punishment was replaced with "consequences" and you knew that every little thing counted and meant something and not some punishment that far outweighed the crimes prompted mostly by emotions rather than a clear solution oriented goal my parents had. I am grateful now that my parents were strict and exercised corporal punishment ONLY because it toughened me up. I had thicker skin going in. Kids today many because because of lack of real discipline or their parents afraid of violating their teenager's" rights" (Mom, how dare you look at my Facebook page without my permission! You are violating my rights!", "Dad how dare you yell at me, this is emotional abuse and I will report you to my school") have no clue what they are impulsively signing up for after seeing a movie about heroic military men and women on a movie screen or sitting around all day playing Ghost Recon. Around here its all big teen talk and I have yet to hear a single teen say to me "I would never join" it's usually the exact opposite. BIG TALK.
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SPC Nick Cox
It was an escape for me too. I wanted to prove something to myself that I could do it. I always wanted to be in the military. I was a loser in HS and I wanted to get away from my dad and older brother. They pouted until they day I left about me joining. Til this day I sense that the respect the give me is fake. Hell, a women at my brothers work overheard my brother saying I joined the army and her words were and I quote, " What is he fucking stupid." That was another reason why I joined. Thanks for your service
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PO2 (Join to see)
Same here. My mom was worse than any RDC I ever met. Boot camp for me was like a snowy vacation. I never had such a happy and stress-free time in my life.
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SSgt Jamie Ritter LeBlanc
A friend of mine joined and left the same day her father told her she couldn't go to the mall.
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LCpl Douglas Landrith Jr
Weak parents are the issue with today's kids. Nothing corrects a child's mistakes like a good ass whipping. Told not to kick the ball in the house, did it anyway? Get a ass whooping. Lie, get an ass whooping. Disrespect an adult? How about a nice ass whooping.
If the child has the fear of a whooping for misbehaving then they stop and think about what they are doing. Hmm... if I do this I will get my ass whooped and the last time it hurt really bad... maybe I should not do it even though my friends are...
If the child has the fear of a whooping for misbehaving then they stop and think about what they are doing. Hmm... if I do this I will get my ass whooped and the last time it hurt really bad... maybe I should not do it even though my friends are...
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