What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

I was supposed to join with a buddy of mine when I told him the decision the judge handed down. When it came time to do the paperwork, his response was, "I just chickened out"...

As far as the Air Force goes I heard this "The Chair Force isn't the real military... and Israel's Air Force is far superior to ours" ...smh

I was on an RTT tour from Ramstein to Paris with some DODDS teaching students from the states. One of them told me: "Yeah, I was thinking about joining but then the wars happened, so I didn't." I didn't know my eyes could roll that far back into my head...

I had a local law enforcement officer tell me that he wanted to serve his country but didn't want to leave his family so he joined the local PD....

The best I've herd is that we're all a tool of the man and that's why they wont join.

"I'd Join, But I like smoking weed to much"

"I am Allergic to chi-ken" was what my daughters POS boyfriend said at the final MEPS swear-in, in front of the recruiter and his father.
The recruiter told me that on the way home they stopped at the Golden Arches and the POS BF orders a 20 piece chi-ken fingers dinner.
Last time I heard, the POS is working as a prison guard. A real stellar Gems he is. NOT!!!

"I can't stop smoking weed. Ive tried but I just can't do it." Im thinking to myself seriously, you can't stop for one month? lol

Here is a few more.

"I'm waiting for my record deal"
"I make too much money selling drugs"
"I ain't going to fight no white man's war!'


Yea I recruited in the ghetto.

The excuse I aways hear is I don't anybody telling me what to do is the reason I will not join the military