What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

Don't like to be ordered around.

Don't like to be ordered around. Also afraid to deploy.

While recruiting on the west side of Chicago in 2005, I was told by a guy who changed his mind on the day that I came to pick him up and take him to MEPS, “I can’t go, Sergeant.. I just can’t risk going over there and getting shot, man...”

This was after we had to wait six months for his medical processing time, because he had (literally) been shot clean through his right butt cheek while sitting on his porch, next to his mother, while holding an infant niece.

I tried to join but didn't pass the physical I have flat feet

Bad eye sight :(

I've heard from some saying " No way am I going to be a slave to the government!" I'm sure he still can't sit down from my 4810.5!

Flat footed

Trump
: “My Frey hurt”!!!

"I don't think I want people yelling at me." "I don't like to get up early." I don't think I could deal with all that hostility." Those come to mind.

I can't serve because I have heel spurs (but can golf every weekend).