What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

I failed the drug test

"I was gonna join, but I'm flat footed." - Said recently

I would be homesick

No excuses, cowards!!!!!

Lazy

I would die

I'm not sure I would call it an excuse but my best friend from High School and I decided to join the Air Force together. There we wear at the MEPS station taking our ASVAB then on to the Physical. I think we were standing in line for the chest Xray when they pulled her out of line. A couple of hours later I'm standing alone in my group taking my oath of enlistment for delayed enlistment (5months). I called her later that afternoon and found out she didn't pass all parts of the test. She re-took the test and even tried another service but never actually joined the military. That was over 30 years ago.

This biggest excuse I have heard from people is "I don't want to get yelled at."

Good lord, that's only for Basic and AIT/Tech School is what I tell them. Then I get, "Well, I still wouldn't like it." At that point I am disinterested in anything they have to say.

These days when I have conversations with my friends about where they see themselves in the next couple, if they say they don't know, then I propose joining the reserves. What I have found is that most of them actually think it's a good idea. A lot of people are enlisting right now and I rarely get any excuses other than family commitments for not joining.

"If I got yelled at my first reaction is to hit someone in the face" a friend of mine said that one