What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

I would miss my mommy too much. I called him a little worthless bitch and told him he needs to grow up.
We also had a guy in boot camp who would cry himself to sleep every night. He quit after two weeks because he missed his wife.

"Thought about joining but not during a war"

My buddy (who's not military) asked me if he could join the navy as an admiral. I said probably not. He said "then nevermind"

Most of my old high school friends used the excuse "I don't want to go to bootcamp."

I can't stand someone telling me what to do lol!

"I was about to join but then my parents said I should just go to school and get a job." Burger King employee

"I'm going to smoke blunts until I die..."

Understood playa.

My boss's boss once said to me, "I can't submit myself to stupidity." He's a VP in the company and I hear where he's coming from. If ur in the military, you know how inefficient things can get. Ironic right? This is supposed to be the epitome of organization.

The classic ... my uncle..... my dad .... my relative joined.......

I maxed out the entrance test so they would let me enlist. I thought i was going to cry.
I actually had no Come back.