What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

I don't want to cut(women) shave(men) my hair to meet regulations. Or this is one I heard from a girl.....will I get dirt under my manicure that was just done?

I interviewed a kid as a recruiter still in HS.
After 30 minutes:
Me So are you interested…?
Him Yes but I’m keeping my options open.
Me May I ask what kind of options?
Him Scholarships I’d like to go to Ohio State
Me You do know that I’ve seen your grades, you have all C’s and D’s
Him Yes but they’re high C’s and D’s
Me OK I guess we’re done here call me when reality stops by for a visit.
He leaves
Counselor I am so sorry for dragging you out here for this.

Keep the F35 project alive. And look into the ADAM weapons system

I heard someone say I can't lose weight fast enough so I can't join I said how often do you work out for and what you eat he said 1 hr a week and KFC for all 3 meals OK stop the KFC and go longer at the gym like I do 10 to 14 hrs at the gym

I think it that they don't want to have to carry a weapon or when I went in long Hair in and no one wanted to loose there hair.
SSG MARK FRANZEN
USA VET

Vietnam era..."Am waiting for my parole board".... "Waiting for Court orders on the Judges Judgement"...." I like my dope"...." Am 4F"..."Mom will kill me"..."I got other plans"..."if I go in, who will farm the family business ?" We all know somebody who went in, am not like them, I don't want to be brainwashed."
Don't want to be a tunnel rat, pull guard, or be a baby killer" ... Dad is paying for my college"...."I can't swim and blind as a bat" ...."I got flat feet and am too fat"...." I got kids, and a loving wife"... "It's all push button, they don't need me"...."I don't want break anybody's heart, coming back to the world in a box, being crazy, or suicidal like Joe, Robert and Mike did"..."I joined the Peace Corps"...are just a few reasons why people took a different path....Fear of the unknown could be a factor....

My mother did not let me enlist is the best one, I heard from a guy that bought me a beer while on leave in 05.

1. I can't control my temper
2. I don't like being told what to do.

One that I heard..."it's scary you know...being shot at"...says the guy who still lives in the neighborhood that gets 3 to 4 drive-bys a week and has no intention of moving out. Go figure!

I always love the response well I had to go to school.. as they are moving back to their parents basement and paying student loans.