What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

NONE of us ALMOST joined!

"I don't like people telling me what to do."

"Joining the Army is a death sentence."

The best one I heard was "I would join, but I'm too busy working on my career as a (fetish) model"

The best one I have heard so far.... The Army doesn't pay enough. When I asked him where he works, .... McDonald's, and his $14.75 / hour covers his rent that he pays his momma. Asked about healthcare... "I'm young, I don't get sick, and if I do, there is always the free clinic." What about education, career, retirement.... "McDonald's will train me to eventually become a Manager, and I will save my money in the bank; plus I don't want to have to worry about being shot at."
At that point, I thanked him for his time, and ordered a large sweet tea, and just chuckled as I left.

I suggested to my daughter's boyfriend that maybe he should join the Army since he is going nowhere in life. His reply was "I tried but the recruiter told me they don't take people with G.E.D.s".

I asked my son why he did not join the Military years back-His answer was "Four Years is just Too Long!" Now I tell him if he had join when I asked he'd be more than half way through with a nice retirement into another career!!

Thos was actually my brother, the day I graduated from basic.
"I was gonna join, but some family stuff came up"
Me: "Yeah, that didn't stop me."

"Was going to join up after school but I got this great job, " says the assistant manager of Burger King

As soon as I hear, "I wanted to but..." I pretty much tune out what ever BS comes next.