What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

"I can't enlist because I was already an officer once."

-"Really?"

"Yeah, I did four years in the explorer scouts and became a cadet Captain. "

-"Uhhhh. Well it's probably for the best." I didn't want to finish the statement "...for us!"

I have to share this one... Forgive me as I set the stage.

I'm at Brookings Institute taking a class called "Public leadership in the 21st century" and the class has 30 students. All of us intro ourselves at the meet and greet... And as normal include in my pitch that I served for 22 years. There were only 2 retirees and three prior service so we were the minority.

As we go through the week we are mixing it up and conversation and discussion on various projects and meals as we eat at a cohort.

At dinner about midway through the class I get volleyed with the "what all have you done?" So I'm making casual about stories and keeping it lite. One of my classmates calls me on the lightness and tells me he found my mil bio on a website and "you've not just been here and there" I agree and then he asks me what was the invasion like... Without getting graphical I describe it being "hairy and a scary" then one of guys, a Ph.d medical researcher with HHS who works with diseases and stuff that will kill you as fast as a bullet, says, "I would have joined the military... But I was afraid that I'd go off someplace and get killed"

I was speechless as I stared at him almost dumbfounded... Then one of my other classmates said, "but getting killed by an unnameable disease you pick up in a laboratory is ok.... That's a weak ass reason even in my book"

I didn't know if I should say anything so I gave a pregnant pause and the table started laughing... The Ph.d laughing said, "yea it was... I guess was just a chickenshit when I was younger" Which caused us to laugh even harder.

A great group of pros regardless of there service... But I thought I'd heard it all in recruiting and then for that guy to say that... Was priceless

I don't like being yelled at.

I get a lot excuses why civilians don't join. Some of my favorite ones are
-I don't want to deploy if you gurrantee that i will enlist
-I don't think i can pass the ASVAB
-I love myself and I don't want to die

The way i see it "to get somewhere in life you have to take risks to get somewhere". I love my country and very proud to serve.

I always get, "I'd fail the drug test/I'd have to stop doing drugs."

I have better things to do!

Soldiers are just mindless robots and conformists who surrender all control of their life and and give up their personality -said my mother when I said I wanted to be a soldier when I grew up

Couldn't join because his parents didn't want him too.

Karl Rove said something like...they wouldn't an old fat guy like me

"I'm too indepent for that shit, if some Drill Sergeant got in my face and yelled at me I'd yell right back."