Posted on Jan 23, 2014
SSG Cannon Crew Member
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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SSgt Aerospace Propulsion
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"I am not supposed to fight for my country, my country is supposed to fight for me" ... Last I heard this clown is still in prison on drug charges
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MSG Senior Maintenance Supervisor
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"The only way that I would join is if I could go Special Forces.... or be a Sniper." Or when you talk to someone who "used b to be in the military" they were always a Sniper or so bad ass... Just once I would love to meet someone who was a cook, or supply etc. Lol
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LTC Hardware Test Engineer
LTC (Join to see)
>1 y
One of my uncles was like that. Real scumbag who never held a steady job his entire life. He was a bum and an alcoholic. His excuse was that he had severe PTSD from his time as a medic during Vietnam and just couldn't deal with the stress of daily life. He'd convinced most of the family and his friends and they called him "Doc". Turns out he was a cook in the Navy for 2 years before he got kicked out for constantly going AWOL every time his ship made port.
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SSG Senior Mechanic
SSG (Join to see)
5 y
91B. Afghanistan. 95% of the time inside the wire at phoenix.
Never fired a shot, but we kept the trucks rolling.
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SPC Matt Johnson
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Edited 10 y ago
I wasn't tallest, strongest, or the fastest guy when I joined. I couldn't even run a mile started doing a 20min 2 mile. By the end of my first year I was running 14min 2 mile and doing 4-6 miles a day (still wasn't the fastest guy) but maxed push ups and sit ups and was benching 300lbs. So I would laugh at people they say "because I'm not in shape" I just tell em "the only thing you need to do is not give up. Intestinal fortitude. Forget the words "I quit""
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Sgt Tom Vaughn
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One turd told me he wanted to be a Marine , but the Marines said he was in way to good of shape and they would not be able to train him the marine corp way ???
I swear this is true
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SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S.
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"I had other priorities in the 60's than military service."
Dick Cheney
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SFC(P) Senior Intelligence Sergeant
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Why does it need to be an excuse? Idk about any of you but I fight for a nation that enables me to have choice. I choose to serve. He/she didn't. Who cares.
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SFC Contracting Team Ncoic
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"Flat feet"..... Really?....
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SPC Bde Medic
SPC (Join to see)
>1 y
There is a little thing called a "waiver", and most people dont know what those are/dont bother to find out
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SGT Bn C&E Ncoic
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I was having a conversation with a buddy of mine once, I was fresh out of AIT. We used to work together as cooks, for minimum wage, 4 days a week at a restaurant. He tells me how he would like to join. So I ask "why don't you? Just sign the dotted line and raise your right hand." His excuse? "My son prevents me from joining, I could never leave him". (He is NOT a single parent, he's happily married). I proceed to remind him that when I joined I was already a father and a husband, long before he was, and that didn't stop me. He never responded to that.

Now, 4 years later, he's still working the same job with same pay and same 4 days. Living in the same neighborhood, doing the same stuff he's been doing since we were kids.
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SFC Platoon Sergeant
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"I like being fat."
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LCpl Intelligence Specialist
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"Only stupid people would join the marines/military" from a high school drop out, and not because he moved on to bigger and better things!
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SGT Richard H.
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MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P
MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P
10 y
SGT Richard H. - I love that post. I laugh every time I see it pop up on a feed somewhere.
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